Shebrew in the City
Shebrew in the City is a podcast exploring all things Jewish. Combining interviews and informational episodes, join Nicole Kelly as she discusses her journey with motherhood, spirituality, and everything from Hanukkah to the Holocaust. Giving a voice to modern Jews and spreading love and joy, whether you're Jewish, Jew-ish, or not anything resembling Jewish at all, there's something here for everyone.
Shebrew in the City
"The Age of Aquarius" - Finding Harmony with Harmonie Krieger
Ever wondered how growing up in a unique cultural mix shapes one's identity? Nicole Kelly sits down with Harmonie Krieger from Netflix's "Jewish Matchmaking" to share her remarkable journey from a predominantly Italian Catholic suburb in New York to finding her Jewish community at Syracuse University. Harmonie opens up about the contrasting religious backgrounds of her parents and how these dynamics enriched her understanding of her Jewish identity. Their conversation also highlights the modern accessibility of Jewish education, revealing how varied Jewish practices can be.
Navigating love and trauma can be a tricky path, especially when in the public eye. Harmonie dives into the personal challenges she faced questing for healthy relationships. Together, Nicole and Harmonie explore the importance of authenticity and vulnerability in overcoming past hurts and breaking negative patterns. Harmonie's experience on reality TV offers unique insights into the pressures of public dating and the significance of family support, particularly in the face of societal expectations about being single.
Entrepreneurship and personal growth are central themes as Harmonie shares her journey of founding Pop Your Shop amidst the rise of pop-up trends. From dealing with imposter syndrome to the joy of creating interactive events, Harmonie's story is both inspiring and relatable. The episode wraps up with reflections on Jewish pride, balancing advocacy with personal happiness, and the transformative power of authenticity. Don't miss this engaging conversation filled with life lessons, meaningful connections, and a deep dive into the multifaceted nature of Jewish identity.
Follow Harmonie on Instagram!
Check out Jewish Matchmaking on Netflix.
Music featured at the end of the episode: Aquarius from the 2009 Broadway Revival Cast of Hair by Galt Macdermot, Gerome Ragni, & James Rado
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looking for tips and tricks on a new city. Top dog tours is the best place to check out walking tours. We are in boston, philadelphia, toronto and new york city. Visit us on topdogtourscom to book your tour today and check us out on social media for offers, discounts and pictures. Hi, I'm Nicole Kelly and this is she Bruin'd the City, and today I am talking to Harmony Krieger, who you may recognize if you watch the hit Netflix show Jewish Matchmaking. Hi, harmony, thank you so much for taking the time to sit down and talk with me.
Harmonie Kreiger:Hi, nicole, so excited to be here. Thank you so much for having me.
Nicole Kelly:Yes, I love that you are so high energy, because I feel like I'm never caffeinated enough, so I'm going to draw your energy through. I have my coffee, you got your coffee, you got your coffee. I didn't have my coffee this morning, so I will draw off of your high energy.
Harmonie Kreiger:And, by the way, it doesn't happen all the time because I'm not a morning person, just so people know it's not all the time.
Nicole Kelly:I'm not a morning person either. I am very much, you know, because I was an actor for so many years, that it's just like I. If it's before eight o'clock, I feel like it's just not, not my, not my, not my thing.
Harmonie Kreiger:But I love you. You're speaking my language, but what about when you have a child?
Nicole Kelly:What happened? Well, she. It's very interesting because when she was first born she kind of adopted the actor hours. So she will, if she naps, stay up super late with us and she's got severe FOMO. So that is my dream to have, like a child who uh, who's on, who's on uh nighttime hours. I know a lot of people. They're like well, our kid wakes up at like 6, 30 in the morning and I'm like that's not I literally have to train my child, if I have one, to wake up when I wake up it's possible, though.
Nicole Kelly:The problem is is she goes to preschool now, so we have to be there 8 45 and as she gets older it gets earlier and earlier by like 10 or 15 minutes each year. So I have to kind of train I'm not looking forward to it and I have an 8 am class Tuesday and Thursday this semester, so I have to leave the house.
Harmonie Kreiger:So now you're a morning person, nicole, I'm going to force myself to be a morning person.
Nicole Kelly:So, kind of coming back to our tangent about not being morning people, I always like to start off by asking guests kind of where they're from, what their childhood was like, their Jewish background, if any at all. So if you could share a little bit about that.
Harmonie Kreiger:Sure, so I'm from New York City. I was born on the Upper East Side and then my parents moved to Westchester, so I grew up in Scarsdale, eastchester area and it's about, you know, 25, 30 minutes from the city.
Harmonie Kreiger:So I always grew up kind of having both the suburb and the city life. I was always, you know, I just loved going there on the weekends and seeing the bright lights and that was always so enticing. And then I got to like grow up in a really great suburb where I had a ton of friends but none of them were Jewish.
Harmonie Kreiger:Oh wow, yeah, so the area I was in was very. It was Italian Catholic and I was one of I don't know three or four Jewish people in my entire school. Wow. So it was very interesting, because my dad in the show I talk about it but for those who haven't seen it my dad was raised Orthodox and he really chose to go the opposite direction and he sort of became an atheist in a way, and so I didn't grow up with hardly any Judaism in my everyday world. And then my mom started teaching Hebrew school to young children about, I would say, when she was about 40. I must have been I don't know how old I was at the time, but whatever it was, it was too late for me to go to Hebrew school at that time I kind of passed the point.
Harmonie Kreiger:So I never got that experience and none of my friends were Jewish. So it's so interesting because then I went to Syracuse University where all my friends were Jewish.
Nicole Kelly:Oh, so Syracuse is like a super. I'm not as familiar with Syracuse as other universities.
Harmonie Kreiger:Well, I guess the people that I hung out with was and I was in the most Jewish sorority, sigma Delta, tau, sdt as we say and I was the social chair and I'm like what do you mean? I fit in. And my parents were so worried because I didn't have that upbringing that I wouldn't fit in.
Nicole Kelly:It's so interesting that you say that your dad was raised Orthodox but decided not to die. My mother's family generation before her everybody's Orthodox, Like they only spoke Yiddish in the home, like very religious. And then my mother had a sister who passed away when she was very young, so it caused a lot of, I think, emotional trauma obviously, and both her parents kind of shied away from religion and my mom really didn't have other than going to family events at my great aunt's house that I've talked about in other episodes. So she one of the reasons that I had such like not like a strict but like a cohesive Jewish upbringing is because she felt that she was denied that. So I feel like sometimes when people grow up in like a very extreme religious atmosphere, either they become, you know, acclimated, that very extreme religious they maybe kind of go like your dad or my mom's parents did to kind of the other end of that, because of whatever reason.
Harmonie Kreiger:That's so interesting.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah.
Harmonie Kreiger:And also. So my dad almost, I feel, was forced into that. So I think he kind of went the opposite.
Harmonie Kreiger:But then my mom started becoming so interested in getting back into her Judaism, because my grandma loved to keep high holidays, but she also wasn't religious about it. Then my mom was like, let me explore a little bit more. And then when she started teaching, it really opened up, finding it again, and I think that's what's so special about Judaism. Of course, what's going on in the world right now has brought everybody so close to it. However, I felt there was always a piece and not many people know this missing from my life in that sector, but I didn't know what that meant because I didn't grow up with it. So you don't know what you don't know.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, no. So I almost felt like I was faking it. You know what I mean.
Harmonie Kreiger:I was faking it till I made it. I went to high holidays and I did some Shabbat dinners, but I didn't know what anything meant. So I felt like I was sort of this outcast, but I wanted to be on the inside. You know what I mean. So I felt like I was yearning for it.
Nicole Kelly:I've heard other people say something like that, like I have a cousin who would go on to have like an adult bat mitzvah and mentioned in her school. So I think, especially with people you know, millennials and people you know I don't even know the generational names anymore because there's so many Me neither.
Harmonie Kreiger:I don't even know what.
Nicole Kelly:I am, by the way.
Harmonie Kreiger:By the way, I need to know more about the adult, because that's what I want to do. I want to do an adult bat mitzvah.
Nicole Kelly:We're going to talk I. So she kind of felt like other than and even like my mother had mentioned that she, you know, kind of learned the prayers they're going to synagogue with us but she never really understood. So I think a lot of people, maybe when they have children, maybe when they become adults or thinking about having their own families, they kind of find their way back in, which is what really happened with me, like I was very religious growing up and we were just home in Los Angeles and I was talking to my sister and she's like you're really Jewish now, and my mom was like she was always really Jewish.
Nicole Kelly:I don't know, like we do Shabbat, like we never did that growing up, like I go to temple and she's coming to visit in February and my mom was like you should go to services with her and my sister is much more culturally Jewish than religiously Jewish and she's like I don't know, and I was like my mom was like she was always Jewish. It's just that because I became an actor and theater and music became so much of my life. It replaced the obsession I have with being Jewish and Judaism. So you know online resources and so many people who are in the clergy being like available to talk to people online.
Nicole Kelly:And these Jewish educators like on Instagram, kind of talking about stuff. There's a way for everybody to become educated, even if they don't want to do, you know, like a formal Jewish intro class.
Harmonie Kreiger:I love it and that's how I feel. I almost feel like it's culturally Jewish. Now, to just like learn, because there are so many people that could teach and they break it down in such a digestible way. I think that's the other part, because people feel like they have to be religious to be Jewish, and it's the opposite. You can have any, we're Jewish and that's it.
Nicole Kelly:And that's one of the things I'm trying to do with this podcast is show that there are a million and a half ways to be Jewish and everybody's Judaism is valid, regardless of whether or not they're Satmar Orthodox or their dad's Jewish, and they just light a menorah.
Harmonie Kreiger:And that's what Elisa from the show, the matchmaker from the show, always talks about. There are a million ways to be Jewish. You're Jewish, and when I tried out to be the show, I thought that I wasn't going to get the show because I was not Jewish enough.
Nicole Kelly:Okay, well, we'll jump. I I found out. Wait, we'll jump into talking about the show. So most of the people um listening will, if they recognize you, will recognize you from the Netflix reality show Jewish matchmaking. How did you get involved with that? I'm always so curious because I watched the bachelor sometimes and they're always like I love reality television. It's the vice of mine. My dad once told me when I was still actively performing. He was like you know, you're taking jobs away from actors when you watch that. And I was like I don't care, it's magnificent and I love it.
Nicole Kelly:So, they'll advertise. They'll say do you know someone who would you know want to be? You know, date our bachelor or bachelorette. But I never. I mean, maybe I'm in the wrong social sphere. I never saw an advertisement for Jewish matchmaking, so how did you find out about this?
Harmonie Kreiger:It's so interesting you said that. Thanks, because I now that I think about it. You're right, there's always some sort of casting, okay. So this is interesting my friend in Los Angeles, j JD she is a matchmaker and she matched me with and I've never really gone to a matchmaker before and I I know her husband from college. I ran into them at Runyon Canyon, which is a hike in.
Nicole Kelly:Los Angeles.
Harmonie Kreiger:And we had our dogs together and I'm like I need to give this a try. So she set me up with about three. I would say it was three dates, three different men. All lovely, by the way, just not my thing, not my jam. And she reached out to me and she said well, it's interesting, my other friend, who's another matchmaker, you know in the group of matchmakers because they all know each other by the way.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, it's a very it's a very specific thing to be a Jewish matchmaker. It really is.
Harmonie Kreiger:So she said she's cast, she's casting for this show and I actually feel like this is your path and I'm like what do you mean? You know, and I and I did a lot of TV hosting in my day, so I'm not shy in front of the camera. However, I'm very private about my love life, like.
Harmonie Kreiger:I have never posted a photo of another guy that I was dating on my Instagram in maybe 15 years, like I have never done anything public when in my love life and that's very, that's just very personal to me Um, and being, you know, as a host and sort of in the I don't know in that world, you almost want to stay single, like stay single in quotes.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, yeah, that's the thing. There's a long history of people pretending to be single or you know you want to stay. I guess it's sexier to be single than to have like a family, I guess. So I don't know.
Harmonie Kreiger:You're right. And then I think this was the moment she said try out, I'm like I don't think. Number one I don't think I'm Jewish enough.
Nicole Kelly:Number two I think I'm too old.
Harmonie Kreiger:That's how I truly felt, because when they do these shows, they're usually askew a little bit younger, it's so interesting.
Nicole Kelly:You said that because we didn't watch the season, but we started watching the Golden Bachelor. Yes, we started watching the golden bachelor. Yeah, and it's so funny because my husband pointed out that for a lot of these people it is, you know, it is maybe one of their real because they're like 75, their real last chance at finding a spouse, where it's like when on the regular batch, it's like they're 21 and they're like I'm never going to find someone.
Nicole Kelly:I know you are a child and your brain is not fully developed yet, like it's going to be exactly got plenty of time. I also feel like my mother. You know never. I feel like I had the anti-Jewish mother when it came to finding a family. She was always like our optometrist his sister didn't get married until she was in her forties and she was always like Mark's sister didn't get married until she was in her forties. So there's no rush and it doesn't. So she was always very, which I think is the anti-Jewish mother where it's normally they're like you need to get married and give me grandchildren.
Harmonie Kreiger:So it's funny. You said that my dad was like that and my mom was very much do your own thing, fly. She knew I was always unique. We're the same zodiac sign, Aquarius. We're dreamers, we're out there, we don't do anything by the book. So she always said in your own time, anything by the book. So she always said in your own time. So she also was like the anti-Jewish mom. She's the one that told me to go to LA, like fly your wings, go, do what you want. And my dad? It's funny. My dad said wait as long as you can. Well, look what happened. He's like, literally, there's so many guys out there, but you know, just date as long as you can. And it's so funny. What do you think he? What do you think he says now when are you getting married? I'm like, yeah, because you told me to wait this long.
Nicole Kelly:Well, statistically, you've just skipped your first divorce.
Harmonie Kreiger:You know, that's my sister said that she's like.
Nicole Kelly:I've skipped my first divorce because I didn't get married in my 20s.
Harmonie Kreiger:I'm going to use that. I would have been. By the way, I would have been divorced if I married any of those people I was dating when I was younger, because I also wasn't ready. Yeah, and I knew.
Nicole Kelly:I think especially and this is something that I feel like a lot of younger people in their 20s. They're not interested in the idea of a marriage, but they really want a wedding, especially with weddings becoming such like a huge thing. It's like a wedding and a party is what I think people want, but when it comes, when the wedding is over, the relationship is a lot of work and I don't think people are prepared for that.
Harmonie Kreiger:It's a lot of work and I I never was dreaming of the wedding until I watched my friends at 25 get married, but I always knew that wasn't the wedding I wanted, yeah. So there's something in me that said, okay, but that's not really what you want, go find what you want. And I think it was about soul searching and becoming a partner that I was like I was happy with inside, because at that point I was very selfish, I was doing my own thing, I was living in New York city, I was bopping around.
Harmonie Kreiger:I was you know auditioning for hosting gigs. I did not. I had a boyfriend, but I did not want marriage and I was pretending like I did.
Nicole Kelly:Because that's what I think society expects We'll talk about that Especially of Jewish women is that you're supposed to want all these things and it's okay not to get married ever? Like this is a valid option for people?
Harmonie Kreiger:you know or have kids. Yeah, that's a real thing. And I have so many friends right now that have chosen not to have a child, and they are very happy about it, and so that's their journey.
Harmonie Kreiger:And I just think that more and more people are coming forward with it's okay whatever you want to do, where back in the day, it was not okay, like this is what you were supposed to do. So back to when I tried out for the show, I think my video in my audition with the producer was so raw and real because, number one, you have no idea what they're going to ask you, right? You also have no idea where that conversation is going to go. So I didn't know what she was going to ask me. I thought it was just like a slew of questions about my dating history, what I want, but it went so deep and I just lost it.
Harmonie Kreiger:I mean, I started bawling about not thinking I was going to get married, not having a child. I would regret that forever. And why am I in this place at 44 years old, when I knew I could have gotten married back in the day? And now I'm dealing with social media and online dating apps that are just not my thing. And I just said to her my dad is really sick and to imagine my dad not walking me down that aisle and my grandma passing away because she was at that time she was turning 99 and she turned 100, thank God, but she passed away. But to not have those two most important people in my life at my wedding, I could not imagine that. I got myself to that place almost as if I was blaming myself, which was insane. So I think she was my age, by the way, who casted me and she related so deeply because it was so true. What I was feeling, I believe, is what so many women my age are feeling right now.
Nicole Kelly:It's almost like, well, when you're past this age, you're not deserving of love, which is ridiculous. You know, I know so many people that had unhappy marriages that I feel like they rushed into because, well, that's what you do and you know the divorce rates are super high. Especially we talk about like back in the day. People like, well, that's what you do, well, they were miserable.
Harmonie Kreiger:Right.
Nicole Kelly:Exactly. But I think society really does push this idea of like well, you're past a certain age, you are this thing, you don't deserve love, you don't deserve a family, and I don't think that's valid or right in any way. It's really not.
Harmonie Kreiger:And, by the way, I'm a product of divorce. So this is the other part that I think a lot of people can resonate with who have divorced parents. I, my model for love was that, and so I love my parents dearly, but they were fighting since I was seven and they did not get divorced till I was 17. So for 10 years I witnessed a relationship that was love in the most combative, chaotic way and that literally is embedded in you when you go into adult relationships. So I was like, oh, I'm never going to have a marriage like that.
Harmonie Kreiger:Well, fast forward and this is very vulnerable for me to say, but a lot of my younger long-term relationships, I carried a lot of that chaotic behavior into those relationships and I'm like why am I like this? Why am I doing this? Because this is what I saw. Now I don't blame them, but it's embedded in you and you have to break that pattern in order to really become the person that you know you are and want to. And I still battle with some things that I'm very passionate and I get aggressive. And my boyfriend now is like, okay, you can calm down a little bit. And I'm like no, like I'm so, but it comes from like that chaotic upbringing and so you're. It's up to you to really like regulate your own behavior and nervous system and I was never in that place. So when I say that was my model of love, I think a part of me kind of pushes away anything super healthy.
Nicole Kelly:I can't relate to this in like from my parents, because my parents are still married.
Harmonie Kreiger:Which is beautiful.
Nicole Kelly:Yes, I know, when we got married, our cancer was like both your parents are still married. That's so rare. I was severely bullied when I was a small child. I'm going to be, 38 in like a month and even last night I was like crying and my husband's like I get. This is real trauma that you had and I'm carrying it from when I was like in fourth grade and I'm going to be 40 in a couple of years.
Nicole Kelly:So it is like a real thing that you carry a lot of these things, that growing up can be really hard to get over and you know, like you said, you can't blame yourself for this. This stuff.
Harmonie Kreiger:You can just try to overcome it and I never really did and I'm so sorry that you went through that, because any type of trauma is so real for us and other people that haven't experienced it don't know. But I will say most people have a version of a trauma they've experienced.
Nicole Kelly:We all carry something.
Harmonie Kreiger:Exactly, and I think the show and this is something that was so powerful. That was my gift, I feel like, from Hashem. That was like this is your time to own your story and this is also when you're gonna break your pattern, because you don't have a choice. You're gonna tell the world and whatever they show or edit, it doesn't matter. It's about you saying it all and just being vulnerable with yourself. It had nothing to do with anybody else and I think, because I let it all go by the way, that was the first nobody. This is the first time I ever said my age on like in, like a mall, like I said it to the world, but in LA, as you know, the land of acting and whatever.
Nicole Kelly:Yes, you have to be like 12. You do not say your age as a woman. I know, oh, I know it's a real thing.
Harmonie Kreiger:So I was always in my 30s.
Nicole Kelly:It's a generic 30s. There's a joke that my great grandmother because we don't actually know how old she was, because people would lie when they came through Ellis Island Right. And she didn't know what her birthday was, because they were using the Hebrew calendar. So she picked December 25th. Oh my gosh, because if it was good enough for Jesus, it was good enough for her, but she would like lie. This woman was crazy. I want to do an episode just on her.
Music:I love that.
Nicole Kelly:She would lie about her age, and she was 35 until my mom's dad, who was her son-in-law, turned 35 and then she was 40. So it's like she was consistently 35 for like over 20 years.
Harmonie Kreiger:Yeah, and I love that. I mean, I only went back three or four years, I would. I think I would say it was like 39, 40. But then obviously, when I get to 44, okay, I need to go 41.
Harmonie Kreiger:But also for dating apps. You know you're in a different category. Yeah, so if it was a two year difference, I didn't think it was a big deal, but that was a very real moment for me where I had to like save my real age because and that was another thing that I think women resonated with Okay you know, can I still have a child? Is there still hope for me? The messages that I got from you know everyone all over the world were literally that my story was their story.
Nicole Kelly:And that's why I feel like I went on that show, so kind of going back to Matchmaker, so you had met with a matchmaker before you met Aliza, correct?
Harmonie Kreiger:Yes, I didn't meet Aliza until the first day we started filming Okay.
Nicole Kelly:So was the experience with Aliza different than with the other matchmaker.
Harmonie Kreiger:Well, yeah, well, first, obviously we're doing it for you know TV.
Harmonie Kreiger:Yeah for TV, so it was a little bit of a like a sped up process. But first of all, when she walked in my door I was like, oh my God, who is this little beacon of light? Her energy, as you know, it's just. She is just like sunshine and rainbows. I love her so much and I just knew the minute she walked in we were meant to meet and connect, whether she set me up with my future husband or whether we were just meant to be friends or whether she was going to bring Judaism back into my life. That's how I felt when I met her.
Harmonie Kreiger:So the process that she took me through of like kind of going through the things I want, the things that I don't want, that are non-negotiables, and getting to know who I was, was definitely a deeper dive, because I spent a lot of time with her, so it was really personal and she also was around my age, so she really understood what I was looking for and she realized, you know, I'm a high quality human and I only will be with a high quality human. But what are the things that are the most important to me and what are the things I'm willing to compromise on and what? What does it need to look like. So she did give me a little bit of tough love, you know, like a couple of things that I said that were important. She's like yeah, I don't know, I think we could combine a couple of things here, like does he have to be attractive? And like passionate? And I was like yes, what do you mean? These are two different things, you know. So she did get me to also ship.
Harmonie Kreiger:The way I thought, though, about relationships and getting older, like, do you want a child? Is that the most important thing? And I said, yes, okay, well then you might have to look at, you know, a couple of other things that are not as important. Do they want children? Wonderful, do they have a six pack? No, you know, like. You know just getting me to see things in a different light, you know.
Nicole Kelly:So that was a beautiful experience, so much more personal than swiping. I started dating my husband before dating apps, so I never experienced the magic of that.
Harmonie Kreiger:Oh, that's so amazing.
Nicole Kelly:Thankfully because I feel like I wouldn't be able to deal with that very well.
Harmonie Kreiger:It just wasn't fun.
Nicole Kelly:And I was getting the same results over and over again.
Harmonie Kreiger:Because, think about it. You're doing the same thing over and over again. But I thought like if I'm out there, you know and I'm special, then somebody else is out there.
Nicole Kelly:They're being special as well.
Harmonie Kreiger:Exactly.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, it works for some people, I guess it does. It does. So Aliza has a lot of rules and one of her rules is no touching for the first five dates. Yeah, that's her big rule, so you're a very friendly person. Was yes, that's her big rule, so you're a very friendly person. Was this a really hard rule for you to follow when you were dating on the show?
Harmonie Kreiger:Oh my God. I mean, whoever saw the show and who didn't, it doesn't even matter. This is what happened. I basically am a toucher and that's how I communicate and make people feel invited in and warm, like, okay, I'm open, that's how I feel. So when somebody walks in for a coffee or I meet them, I automatically give them a hug. It doesn't even matter who you are, because that's how I invite people like into my, into my world, into my heart. So she said to me Harmony, whatever you do, do not touch. So my first date, aaron. So he basically came up from like we were at a coffee shop and he came up and tapped me on the shoulder. I didn't see what he looked like and the minute we stood up I was like Aaron. So I literally failed the rule. Second one I'm like Aaron. I hugged him. I'm like, ah, it's amazing Because it also makes it not be awkward that's the other part and also not awkward for me, because once I invite them in, I feel like I'm giving them an opportunity to start talking or sharing.
Nicole Kelly:I get that. I'm not a touch person and my husband is oh really, yeah, he hugs everybody he's ever met in his entire life. And I'm like I don't hug family members and she wasn't mad at me, but she was just laughing because she's like this is so you Like I can't not touch people, so you spoiler alert you did not end up finding your match on the show. Have you continued to work with Aliza on finding someone? I know you mentioned a boyfriend just now.
Harmonie Kreiger:Yes, yeah, well, it's interesting, I would say right. So actually, my first date is now engaged and Aliza set them up, oh wow.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, that's so nice.
Harmonie Kreiger:After I said no, she set him up and now they're engaged. It's amazing. She definitely opened me up. So I really believe that without that show I don't know if I would have been with my boyfriend now, because we met, I did the show and you know it.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, it takes a long time, yeah, so you do it a year before.
Harmonie Kreiger:So I did the show, then I met him and then we dated for very like three months. But it was long distance, it was so difficult. We were totally in different places. He was looking for a new job. He didn't know where he would land. I wanted to be in LA, so it just didn't work out Fast forward. We didn't speak for seven months. I had to tell him the show was coming out because I wanted, out of integrity, I wanted him to know that I did not do this while we were dating.
Nicole Kelly:No, that makes complete sense. You didn't want a scandal like on the Bachelor, where they were like he dumped his girlfriend and he'd go on the show.
Harmonie Kreiger:Yeah, and you know it's Netflix. I'm like he's going to see the show.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, it was well promoted.
Harmonie Kreiger:Right, and if he doesn't care it doesn't matter, but I wanted him to know. Bit of a back and forth at that point conversation. And then I was doing an event with the whole cast and Aliza in New York City right after the show aired and that's where we met up for the first time. After seven months he was coming to see his parents and then he's like okay, like let's like see each other, you know, so we did, and then we started talking again and he lives in Miami. So I'm like I don't know this is the same thing all over again. But the way she positioned like I want a child.
Harmonie Kreiger:I'm looking for love. I just saw it differently, and we were both very committed to seeing what this time around would bring, because we were both in a different place yeah, so you never know, because I'm not really a believer of like going back, but it was almost like as if there was so much more to explore, like we never were really together together. And now we are. And so now I have to figure out if I'm coming to moving to Miami, being in LA half time, so it's but, but Aliza, you can be bi-coastal.
Nicole Kelly:You can be bi-coastal. It's a very you know real thing.
Harmonie Kreiger:I was with Aliza last night, because we did yeah, I know you guys were doing an event we did an event and she just said Harmony like this is it. He's such a high quality human. I don't know what else you were looking for, but this is it, she's like she said the problem is me, not him. I'm like okay.
Nicole Kelly:So, like you said, you've done a lot of events with Aliza. Has she become a friend since you did the show together?
Harmonie Kreiger:Oh my God, such a friend. I love her beyond. I literally will WhatsApp her at like one o'clock in the morning and now she's in Israel. So it's perfect because her time and my time, because I'm a night owl.
Harmonie Kreiger:We just line up and she'll just give me some beautiful voice notes and advice, and I try to see her as much as I can when she does these tours. I'll hop on one city with her. We did New York, we did here, we did California. So it's great because it's allowing me to also continue our connection and spend more time together.
Nicole Kelly:And you know when the show's over, the show's over, but being with her is so exciting because it's as if we're doing like almost like a second part together. What exactly do you do at these events? Because I see her, I follow her on Instagram and I see, I mean, I'm not. I'm married, so I don't know if this is tailored toward me, but what exactly do you guys do at these events?
Harmonie Kreiger:And if someone was interested in attending, what would be your advice to them? Oh yeah, and she does a beautiful talk and presentation about. Also, it's for married. There are so many married couples at the event as well. Oh, really, yeah, it's about dating to find someone, and also dating in your marriage and staying married.
Nicole Kelly:Which is a real thing that I need to work on.
Harmonie Kreiger:It is and she said you must, must, must, carve out a date night If it's not every week, it's every two weeks, where it's just the two of you and you go somewhere and you do something. It could even be a double date with another couple, but it's just about you connecting outside of the house but having also a consistent date night, which I love because it really like brings back sort of the spark and like discovering new things, and she's really adamant about that. So she does that and then she'll bring me up and just to talk about. It's funny. The last thing we talked about last night was the no touch rule.
Harmonie Kreiger:And she's like Harmony is a toucher and has anyone you know gone on a date where, like they couldn't touch? And she explained the whole reason behind it. So she'll pull me up at different things. And then the last two events we did in New York. She also did a comedy event. She pulled up my boyfriend. So she'll pull up him and then she'll do a whole thing as to you know how to like really date and come together and when you're on the same page, what it looks like and how to be open to it, and she'll pull in like different elements from people.
Harmonie Kreiger:And then she'll do live matchmaking on stage with three singles usually different ages, so one in their 30s, one in their 40s, 50s, 60s, it doesn't matter and she'll really dig into the audience, asking questions, getting to know them, and then she'll say does anybody have an idea? For you know the women on stage Because you know it's all about like people in your history, like there's somebody in the crowd that might know somebody, but you're not thinking that top of mind. So that's kind of how she leads it and I think if anybody wants to attend and get involved, you know she's always at. You know local Chabad's or Jewish community events and I think that it's really wonderful to just go hear people in that space speak and give advice because there's something that's going to click for you Doesn't mean you have to sign up for matchmaking. It just means there's something that's going to click that she says that applies to you. That might shift the way you think about love.
Nicole Kelly:I love that so much and I definitely love the idea of dating your spouse. Like I said, that's something I need to work on. I feel like when we're alone we talk about our company and our child, and I'm sure she's got you know rules about talking about things that are not your children.
Harmonie Kreiger:If that's what it is, then she'll say don't talk about the company and your child when you go out together and if you're dating for the first time. But obviously she doesn't want you to be fake about it, but I think it's more about just reconnecting how you connected when you first dated and then also doing like fun things together that you might not do if your daughter was with you. You know, take that away just for like the evening, just for one evening.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah so what would be your advice to someone who's interested in working with a matchmaker that they've kind of? They either don't want to, or they've exhausted the apps, or they feel like they've dated a lot of people in their city and they're just looking for another option which is like super old school I feel like you know this goes back to like the shtetl in, you know the 1800s and that sort of thing. But what would be your advice for someone who's interested in working with a matchmaker and yes, interested in working with a matchmaker, I would say do.
Harmonie Kreiger:I would say try a matchmaker. Because what happens the minute you tell the universe, Hashem, whatever you believe in, that you're doing it differently, You're trying to find somebody different? It means that you are positively trying to manifest the love in your life, but you're open and you're willing to do it in a different way. So come like, show me all the options, Because I was very against going to a matchmaker. I'm like, oh you know, people just pay to do that, I don't need to do that.
Nicole Kelly:I feel like there's a stigma like before, because I know there was Indian matchmaking before and now there's Jewish matchmaking. But I feel like when I thought of matchmakers, I was like, oh, this is what the ultra Orthodox do and it's the match these 17 year old girls and they don't get to meet their husbands. So it was very interesting to me to find out through TV shows that this is still a very valid way to find your special someone.
Harmonie Kreiger:It is, and I started putting just my name into pools. You know pools of matchmakers, which basically means you know the man will pay for the service and then you're kind of considered in the pool. But I also did it where I'm like you know what I'm going to pay and just do something differently and try and go on three dates, just as again, like I'm just saying, I'm open, show me all the ways. And I think it's such a beautiful way to meet someone because the matchmaker is so invested in who you are. She wants you to find love. It's not like a dating app right, where you're just like going through the motions and so they really take an interest in everything that you're looking for. And Aliza especially, like her mission in life is to literally, you know, bring people together. I mean a certain level of matchmaking. Then put yourself in a free pool or, you know, go about contacting different matchmakers in your city or even, you know, internationally, because you never know.
Nicole Kelly:Where would you find these matchmakers? Is this something you would just kind of Google matchmaker?
Harmonie Kreiger:Yeah, you can Google it in your city. I mean, there are a bunch that are also, like you know, if you're going to contact, like an Aliza, obviously, and then there's, like you know, like a Talkify that's always advertised and if you literally just Google like matchmakers in your city or just ones that you you know are interested in, a whole bunch will go up. And then I would say, go to their site and like, vet them, have a call. Most of these services will have an initial consultation call with you and then you can decide. You know what what speaks to you.
Nicole Kelly:So, going back to this show, uh, I know because I watch a lot of reality TV it's heavily scripted and sometimes very, very fake. However, in the communication that I've had with you prior to this interview and obviously talking to you now, it seems like you're a lot like you were on the show. Was this a proper representation of how you are in real life? Oh, definitely.
Harmonie Kreiger:So you think that you were?
Nicole Kelly:portrayed accurately.
Harmonie Kreiger:I was, and you know, obviously, like knowing a lot about TV in general, I was a little nervous how they would edit me and you never know how you're going to be edited or skewed and obviously they did a couple of things to make me like this character, like the passionate stuff and the mushrooms, but like it was exactly who I am. There was literally not. There wasn't one thing that was scripted, there wasn't one thing that they were like leading me to say, which I thought was amazing because they just let me be who I am. How they edit it is how they edit it, but was amazing because they just let me be who I am. How they edit it is how they edit it, but everything they edit was what I said. So it was like an exact depiction of who I am, every single part.
Harmonie Kreiger:Obviously, they're going to go heavy on certain aspects, right, like a lot was about like me finding someone that I'm attracted to and passionate, but honestly, like I don't mean whatever, but like if you see who they set me up with, it's like okay, I asked for A and you gave me B. It was just like okay, she asked for this, though she's real about this. Like this is what she's looking for. So I don't think any of it was skewed. I can't say that for everybody else. I don't know how they feel, but I've been speaking with some of the cast. They feel amazing about it. They exactly who they were.
Nicole Kelly:That's so nice. Was it weird going to like a coffee shop with someone you just met and then cameras being like right here, like? As an actor like you're used to like. It's like that's the normal way, but kind of just like socializing I think that must have been very strange.
Harmonie Kreiger:It is, and I think you know you forget about the cameras there for after a while because you really just are who you are and you're sort of like the cameras over there, you're having a coffee. But I think it's more awkward for the date. Like for my first date, aaron. I could tell he was so nervous. He's never done anything like this. So I give him so much credit.
Harmonie Kreiger:For a man to able like to be able to go on a show like that that is so public and put themselves out there is really a big thing. For me, I think because I have so much like experience in TV, it didn't bother me as much. But I think to the average person who's never done anything like this, it's intimidating. Yeah, it's a lot. Yeah, and I made my last date. I went to a flower shop and did flower arranging and that was so awkward because we never met before and like we had to make flowers and speak as if we were on a first date. So I could tell Ben his name is he was a little nervous as well, but you don't realize the cameras after a while.
Nicole Kelly:That's good to know. I feel like I'm always interested in how the reality TV show works, because people.
Harmonie Kreiger:But you know a lot of the other ones are very edited.
Nicole Kelly:Well they have like strict NDAs too, but I'm like I want all the details of all of this, I just feel like the Bachelor and all those Well they get those people very drunk, very drunk. We always joke about like what we would do if we were producers on this show, because I think these people are super manipulative too.
Harmonie Kreiger:Oh yeah, oh my God, it's like Like the love is blind, Like the whole thing came out, like how they you know they get them so tired, so drunk.
Nicole Kelly:They don't I know so tired, so drunk, and then there's someone being like well, I heard that so-and-so said Exactly so this one, by the way.
Harmonie Kreiger:so I'm like, please feed me drinks.
Nicole Kelly:Like that's how I felt on this show, like, first of all, I don't do mornings as you know, Nicole, my first date was at 1030 in the morning, which means I had to like get ready.
Harmonie Kreiger:Yeah, I was that's early you know it's like when you're in there, for you're not there yet. But let me tell you, the circles under your eyes start. I'm like you guys, I do not do morning dates ever. I'm only a night person. So that first day I felt very self conscious Because I'm like how are they going to show me? How am I going to look? This is going to be horrible. I'm not even. I don't come alive till noon. Okay, even this. I was like oh my God, how am I going to, like, come alive?
Nicole Kelly:You know, so, but anyway.
Harmonie Kreiger:I'm like feed me drinks, so like there are a couple of times I'm like I needed a little liquid courage. But I also wanted to be very clear and this was my time to be own my truth and to be clear in what I wanted. So I really wanted nothing to like affect what I was saying. That was very important to me.
Nicole Kelly:Are there other dating reality shows that you like, Like we? I remember watching the first season of Married at First Sight. I love Married at.
Harmonie Kreiger:First Sight, I'm addicted. I'm addicted Because, first of all, no show is longer than that show. Right, it's like 23 episodes in a season. I'm embarrassed to say this, but I think I watched it in like three, four or five days. Whatever it is, it's so bad because I am. So at the beginning I'm kind of like, all right, this is boring, I'm bored, I'm bored. Then, when they start to move in, I am so invested in all of them and I and that one and I love love is blind, because I'm just like I would never go on that show, but to watch the chaos and what happens, I'm fascinated by that show.
Nicole Kelly:I would be terror. I mean, I would be really good reality tv, but I think it would be terrible for my mental health because I'm so I have such social like anxiety and I'd be like everyone hates me and I'd be like the crazy girl that they'd show crying in all the previews. So I feel like I'd be, I'd be good reality tv, but I don't think it's something that I would want it right, even if it was.
Harmonie Kreiger:Listen, you have to be strong for this. You, in any show that you do, I just feel like you do have to have a lot of self-confidence and you have to be really just bold in what you say and own it. Because when you see things back, I know a lot of people on these shows are like oh my God, I was edited so poorly. That's not who I am, but it is who you are. The last Married. At First Sight, there was a girl. I'm like, oh my God, it is who you are. The last Married. At First Sight, there was a girl. I'm like, oh my God, they're showing her in the worst light, but she is doing these things.
Harmonie Kreiger:So, how can you not be that way in real life? No, you are. That's what you're doing.
Nicole Kelly:It's some aspect of you in some way I get it. My husband was listening to a podcast and my podcast started right after and it was me talking. I just went oh, and he's like did you just oh your own podcast?
Nicole Kelly:And I was like yeah, I don't like the sound of my voice. We are our own worst. We are, we really are. And I feel like it's really hard, especially as a woman, like you said, as you get older or you're not like the perfect whatever, to kind of be really judgmental about every aspect of yourself and it's hard.
Harmonie Kreiger:It is and it gets harder when you get older. But I will say, when you get older you do also get more like I don't care.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, what people say Like this is who I am, this is who I am, I don't care.
Harmonie Kreiger:I wasn't like that in my 30s. I don't think I could have done what I did in my 30s with this, because I was scared you know, I was scared to put it out there.
Nicole Kelly:So you talked a little bit about the response from fans, so they've been encouraging. It's been good because I always feel like you know, as your social media following grows, it kind of opens you up to all sorts of interesting people and their opinions.
Harmonie Kreiger:The bigger the following, the worse it gets. I mean, that's just anybody public in general, even the most amazing, incredible humans in the world get that, and that's just people hating or people feeling insecure about themselves. But I will say I mean I think it's been like 95, maybe 97% positive. I mean I wasn't expecting that. I was expecting half and half. I absolutely was, because I remember when Netflix called they have like a whole, you know, pr team. That's like we need to prepare you and also, you know, any like anti-Semitic comments are going to come your way and this is before anything started, obviously, with what's going on now.
Harmonie Kreiger:So they prepare you and, you know, they give you a little prep and I'm like, I'm good, like, like I've been in this world for a while. I expect that there's going to be some negativity especially. You know, I don't. I didn't want to come off like any superficial or like whatever, so but I have to say like the comments were so encouraging and positive I mean I screenshot so many of these comments so I can remind myself my purpose of going on the show, like just your vibrant energy.
Harmonie Kreiger:But you're leading the way for us and thank you for your story, because they would just pour their story out to me Unbelievable. This is my story. Thank you for sharing that. You're 44 and you're trying to have a child. I've been trying to have a child. My dad is sick, my mom is sick and I want to get married more than anything, and you made me feel not alone. So I think that, of course, I got like a million DMs from guys that I could care less about, but also it was kind of great because, like the 25-year-olds that are like, or the 20-year-olds that were like, can I take you out? I'm like dear Lord, thank you, thank you for just at least giving me this for a couple of years, right, I'm like.
Harmonie Kreiger:You know how old I am. I could be your mom.
Nicole Kelly:You got this, you got it.
Harmonie Kreiger:Yeah, but anyway that's nice to hear.
Nicole Kelly:That's nice to hear. It was beautiful. So you talked a little bit about like anti-Semitic stuff and I know, since October 7th, you know, I have like less than 500 followers on Instagram and I have like three people who follow me on TikTok, and one is my sister-in-law's fiancee, um, cause I like just started it like last week, but they still find me, they still find a way to find me and are posting these crazy things. So how do you deal with that when it does come about, cause I feel like it can be really disheartening, especially with everything going on right now, that there's these people that, for no reason, are just like I.
Nicole Kelly:Hate you as a person because of how you were born.
Harmonie Kreiger:Absolutely. It's not easy. I think it goes with the territory of just being Jewish and then being on a Jewish public show. They will find you and they will say disgusting things that I just delete. I don't even read them, I'll see, like the first, the beginning of it, and I'll just move on to the ones that are like thank you so much for supporting. And I went down the rabbit hole, I will say, for a couple of weeks where I felt very depressed and very down about what people were saying and not saying Even just people. I knew, like, why are people not posting about what's going on? Even if you're not Jewish, you know I would be posting about everything. Like just as a human, I was disappointed in humanity. So I would just say I had to train my brain to when I went to my DMs or when I went to these like requests which you know are coming from people that who know bots, even their bots.
Nicole Kelly:You have no idea.
Harmonie Kreiger:I would get upset, but then I just started to delete all of them and that's kind of how I just pushed through. I just knew, okay, this is my purpose. This has brought me closer to being more Jewish than I've ever been. More proud to be a Jewish woman on a show that's come out in a time where we're dealing with all this anti-Semitic BS and even more so. I get to be a voice even more, and I never was that voice.
Harmonie Kreiger:First of all, I'm the least political person in the entire world. I don't think I've ever posted one thing to do with the world, you know, because I thought, leave that to the experts. It's like you know, really, I just I didn't mean I didn't believe in anything. It doesn't mean you don't have a belief in what is right and wrong, but I never used my voice for that reason until now and I felt like it was my duty and my obligation. To start using my platform isn't huge. I mean, I think I only have like 9,000 followers, but those 9,000 followers are real followers and I'll lose. By the way, I'll lose some every single day. Every day, I will lose, lose, lose when I post about Israel, but I know that the right.
Harmonie Kreiger:People are following me for a reason and then it is my obligation to also bring light and joy back into people. Because what happened to me and I think, so many people is that I went down the depression hole of like, oh my God. It was like a defeating feeling and I wasn't posting anything joyful, I was posting everybody else's content and I'm like, oh my God, I need to start bringing back the light and being the light again. That's who I was on the show. That's why people enjoy me. What am I doing? So I felt like, oh, I need to get back to that. So that's why I started not reading the negative comments, because I just had to focus on bringing light back to people's lives.
Nicole Kelly:It's really hard. I follow a lot of, like, all the Jewish influencers and it's just constant and it's very important, it's very important to talk about. But sometimes I'm like let's talk about something happy, let's you know it almost like you know, but I feel like maybe there's a sense of guilt of posting something positive, yeah, while there's people literally sitting in tunnels in Gaza so I get it but I feel I'm all about the idea of Jewish joy and kind of bringing that big like two-bush fox coming up. So it is important to me.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, there needs to be balance.
Harmonie Kreiger:There's a place I think for both.
Harmonie Kreiger:I felt guilty too. I'm like, do I post about my friend's birthday today when this is going up? But all I was posting was about what was going on in the world. That I'm like, wait, this makes me feel good to post this, and I know when I did, I remember it was like a quote or something inspirational. So many people commented back like thank you for that, because they need to feel that. You know, I think the Jewish joy is so important. I'm so glad you said that, because that's like what we need to spread.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, I feel like a lot of Judaism, or just Jewish holidays in general are sad. We were talking about this last night when a friend was over and I was like most Jewish holidays where they tried to kill us. They didn't, and now we eat lots of food. Why is that? Because there's been a lot of people trying to kill us through, you know, the last 5,000 years. So I want to jump back to. Something we talked about a little bit earlier is the adult bat mitzvah, so this is something you'd be interested in doing.
Harmonie Kreiger:I want to do it so badly, I really do. My cousin, who is a modern Orthodox, just said oh my God, you need to go do it in Israel. I don't know how to go about this, but I must do this. This is my mission. I've talked to you. I talked.
Nicole Kelly:I don't remember which guest it was. I'm terrible. We'll have to figure out who it was who had her bat mitzvah on birthright in Israel, and I do know that a lot of synagogues also will do like a group adult b'nai mitzvah where it's like a class where you like learn how to read Hebrew and then you get to read part of your Torah portion. So there's totally a lot of options for that and now that you're an adult you can have like a banging party.
Harmonie Kreiger:That's all. That's what I want. All your friends are able to drink. Yeah, exactly, my boyfriend also did not have a bar mitzvah.
Nicole Kelly:Oh really.
Harmonie Kreiger:So I'm like oh, my God, we could do this If we stay together. We could do this together.
Nicole Kelly:Epic party, epic, epic party. But yeah, you should definitely like figure out.
Harmonie Kreiger:Oh, I'm going to. I'm going to talk to actually, my mom's rabbi at the Chabad, who just did this event with Aliza, and try and find out, like how I can love to and, by the way, and because I also want to go to Israel, I haven't been to Israel so Ever, never.
Nicole Kelly:I haven't either, and I feel like it's this deep, dark secret. Oh my God, okay, so we just shared a secret together.
Harmonie Kreiger:I want to go so badly and my boyfriend has family there, but I missed my birthright trip and I never did it.
Nicole Kelly:I never did Birthright. I know there were other options, but the problem is is like I'd be like, okay, I'm going to do it, and then I'd book a show and then something would happen. So it was like I kept pushing back and I know Birthright, I think the cutoff is like 26 and people were like they were like but you can go later.
Nicole Kelly:And I was just like we moved to New York. I was working full time trying to like pay New York rent and leave my multiple dogs and husband behind for like 10 days. And now I'm like, well, maybe we'll just wait until my daughter's old enough to go, but like I definitely want to go. And I keep seeing these things about like what do you call this? Like community, not community service? Like they're helping people over there.
Harmonie Kreiger:Yeah, they're doing the missions.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, like help missions and like I saw one today and they're like hmm.
Harmonie Kreiger:And I was like missions and like I saw one today and they're like, and I was like I definitely want to do it and now, obviously now more than ever, you know, I think I'll wait a little bit, but I want to go.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, for sure. I definitely think it's important and I feel like I'll be one of those people like kissing the ground when I get off the plane.
Harmonie Kreiger:Oh absolutely Absolutely. I think we'll feel more connected Obviously we will more than ever if we go that now. So that's something I really want to do, and then I have to figure out how to have a bar mitzvah.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, you could. You could do multiple. You can do both, because I know people who had like I have a family friend who had a traditional bar mitzvah at our synagogue and then went with a group to Israel.
Music:And.
Nicole Kelly:I don't know if they do this for girls, because he was a boy he had. He read from the Torah at at the Wailing Wall.
Harmonie Kreiger:I've heard of that. Actually, I know.
Nicole Kelly:So you can do both, you don't need to choose.
Harmonie Kreiger:You can do both.
Nicole Kelly:This is my mission, so I want to ask you about your name. It's so unique and it's so fitting, and I definitely believe that people are kind of a product of your name. Is there a story behind your name?
Harmonie Kreiger:Yeah, well, so my dad named me my mom had nothing to do with it.
Harmonie Kreiger:They had an agreement that if I was a girl, my dad picked the name, if I was a boy, my mom picked the name. And so it's interesting because, if you back in the day I was born in 1978, by the way there were no trendy names. Okay, trendy names is now that was not a thing. It was so by the book, and Harmony was obviously not in the baby book, and my dad at the time was so like a free, like, almost like an ex-hippie, you know, like so into music. He wanted a name that encompassed music, nature, peace, calm, which is interesting considering my environment. But anyway, he was obsessed with music. Obsessed, I mean, he had like 500 vinyls. I grew up like he played like a vinyl every 30 minutes. He was just with music obsessed. I mean, he had like 500 vinyls. I grew up like he played like a vinyl every 30 minutes. He was just into music and um, yeah, and he wanted something that kind of like encompassed all of that. He, I think he went to Woodstock.
Harmonie Kreiger:He was like we used to wear turquoise jewelry and fur boots. I'm like, if you met him now, you're like, okay, he's the most conservative person, but he was the most like free spirit and maybe that was going against you know how he grew up.
Harmonie Kreiger:Yeah, but I'll never forget the story. Like when he met my mom, he was wearing like these furry boots at this party and like a turquoise necklace and my mom's like ooh, he's so cool, you know. So, anyway, he named me Harmony and then I was born in this like crazy snowstorm in New York, the snowstorm of 78. Nobody could visit me. The hospitals were basically like like only the people that were born could like be there. No one would come.
Harmonie Kreiger:And I remember he said Harmony is her name and nobody thought that that would be my real name. Like they're like, wait a minute, I've never heard of that. And they're like, trust me, this is her name. Never heard of that. And they're like trust me, this is her name. So it's wild because it actually is very. It has like a Jewish heritage to it, like there is like a meaning of it is connected to Judaism. Because they're like that's not a Jewish name. And so my dad was like, oh no, it is so fast forward. I always wanted to just go by Harmony because I didn't have a middle name. They didn't think anything can go with it.
Harmonie Kreiger:So I made one up when I was younger, because all my friends who were Catholic had like two names yeah so I'm like, okay, so it was like Harmony, aaron, and I'm like, okay, it didn't go, so anyway, the whole point of like moving into this next chapter of my life, which is so beautiful, I'm like I finally know why he named me this. It's like my job in this beautiful world is to bring harmony into other people's lives. That was it, and I didn't really get it until I got it, and now I'm you know, I have my new platform that's going to come out, which is Life with Harmony, and it's about helping people find the harmony in their life.
Nicole Kelly:I said thank you, dad. I do believe that names really dictate people's personalities. I feel like if you met like a Chet, you know what Chet looks like.
Harmonie Kreiger:Oh my God, if I met a Chet. It's so true. I feel like he would like be like a stylist from like sex and like be on a show like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy or something.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, you definitely. Names are very important. So you're very LA. I feel like, because I grew up in LA, you were a very LA person. How did you end up in Los Angeles, from you know, living 20 minutes outside New York City? How did that happen?
Harmonie Kreiger:I think I always knew that I wanted to be surrounded by nature and I was looking for something that was different than what I was supposed to do. So back to when my friends all got married at 25, everybody was living on the Upper East Side of New York City. So was I. I was living witha boyfriend. They were all getting engaged. It was like my turn dogs and I just felt like I was in a box. I literally felt so suffocated, like is this what we're paying? Whatever? Couple grand, you know, three grand, whatever a month for a couple grand?
Nicole Kelly:Oh, this was, by the way, back in the day, back in the day.
Harmonie Kreiger:So I'm like I I I just knew this wasn't what I was looking for.
Nicole Kelly:Rose in Titanic says something very similar before she tries to jump off the ship where she's like I looked at this and saw the rest of my life and was like I can't do it.
Harmonie Kreiger:That's right, oh my.
Nicole Kelly:God yeah.
Harmonie Kreiger:I literally assessed. I remember I said I'm going to go for the summer to LA and if I like it I'll see how I feel. And I just knew that when I went I was never coming back. And that's exactly what happened. And my boyfriend at the time said do you want to get another apartment? You know, we'll move into whatever. I'm there, two suitcases, I had $2,000 in my bank account not enough to even put like a down payment on anything, and I had two suitcases of clothes and I never came back. I mean, then I came back to visit but I mean I moved, was told to do that. I just wanted to fly and also wanting to be a TV host. That was where I was going, you know like I just knew there was more.
Harmonie Kreiger:And it wasn't just about I didn't want to become famous. It wasn't about like the lights and the glitter, it was just more. I wanted a different environment that fed my soul, and now that I'm there 18 years, I just know why. I was looking for a place where, two hours away, you can be anywhere mountains, beach desert.
Nicole Kelly:My husband always says that from LA you can be the desert, the mountains, the snow, the beach.
Harmonie Kreiger:Exactly, and that's what I was looking so like deep in my soul. I just needed nature. I really felt like it was the nature that drew me there. Also a little bit of my dad being like you should be married, you should do this. I'm like, okay, I don't want that life. I may struggle and take the hard path, but that path is for me and that was another reason, I think subconsciously I moved there, not knowing that was the part of it, but it was. So I love it there. But now I'm in Miami and like my boyfriend's here, and I'm not a Florida person, so it's a little bit difficult.
Nicole Kelly:Florida is a very divisive subject now as well. Yeah, I mean look.
Harmonie Kreiger:Miami is good if it's going to be somewhere, but, however, I'm such a neat like I need the mountains and I love hiking.
Nicole Kelly:There's no hiking in Miami. Yeah, no, no, no, there's a lot of hiking in LA.
Harmonie Kreiger:You mentioned running and I just laughed because you know, being from the Valley, it's like let's go with running and I do more like Malibu Palisades. But that's my jam. I need to be in your water. I like the.
Nicole Kelly:Palisades. I did a show in the Palisades like right out of high school. You did, I did at the non-union theater and it I would drive on the 405.
Harmonie Kreiger:Oh my God.
Nicole Kelly:Through traffic to go do a show at this theater. Amazing, so you are the founder of Pop your Shop, which is a which, basically, we create pop-up shops, correct? Yes, yes, okay. So what inspired you to start this company and what are some of the favorite pop-ups that you've worked on?
Harmonie Kreiger:Um, yeah, so again, like not going with the rules, I was working for Angelina Magazine, which is a luxury lifestyle magazine in Los Angeles, so it's great. It talks about all things you know real estate, food, hot places to go, what's trending, fashion, beauty, all of it and I was doing all their events. I beauty all of it and I was doing all their events. I was the event director there and I was working with tons of brands. And I just thought it's when pop-ups were just coming out, by the way, like Target would do their Christmas pop-up I mean, it was so new and I just thought, oh my God, all these brands really want their own store or just want their own area to like showcase their product. Why don't I do this on my own? And I just thought I could do this on my own. Well, it's not so easy. But I just thought let me save for a year at my job and break off and see what clients I could kind of take with me. And then I started popular shop. I think it was. Oh my God, when did I say 2000? I would say I think it was 2013. I started it, or 14, something around that arena. Yeah, I think it was 14.
Harmonie Kreiger:And I just thought I wanted to create my own experiences for people. It goes back to bringing joy. I wanted to like really bring people to a place where they could feel, touch, see new products and experience a fun event. And why did I need to work for an entity? I could just do this by myself, so that was kind of like what really inspired me behind it and I've always been an entrepreneur I just didn't know if I can make it as an entrepreneur. And even now, like I still feel like, ah, is it imposter syndrome? I've had it all these years, but now I'm shifting into a different realm and I don't know how to. It's almost like I don't know how to reinvent myself again. But you really do know it comes from within. It's like you doing the podcast. It's I want to do a podcast, by the way, for five years. I'm just going, I'm jumping because it's for a reason, because-.
Nicole Kelly:Mazel tov, thank you, but I never did it because I just didn't know how to reinvent myself again. Imposter syndrome is also like a very real thing, but I feel like everyone, unless they're narcissists secretly has imposter syndrome. I agree, I think that it's normal if you're successful in any capacity where you feel like you don't deserve success.
Harmonie Kreiger:But then you just got to do it right and I still haven't done it because I'm like, oh my God, how is it going to look? What are people going to think? You know, go back to pop your shop. When I left, I didn't know anything, nicole, Like literally, what do I know about running a business?
Nicole Kelly:I knew just how to put on an event. I feel exactly the same way when we start our business. We were like I have a degree in musical theater and I have to deal with like a CPA. Now, exactly, I don't know what I'm doing.
Harmonie Kreiger:I still don't know what I'm doing, but I know what I'm good at and I know what I'm not. So when I did this, I just thought I'm good enough in my craft and people love me and love what I bring that that's enough to start it, and the other stuff will work itself out. So, yeah, I mean like my business. By the way, it was all referral. I didn't do any marketing. I should have, because if I did marketing, I probably would have gotten a ton more, but I knew that pop-ups were not the only thing I wanted to do. So that's the other part. Like I didn't want to scale it. I could have scaled it in every city and I just thought, no, I did that, like I'm good there. I want to go back to really like inspiring and helping people. I don't want to work with brands anymore, but one of my favorite ones I ever did was a two of them them bcbg.
Harmonie Kreiger:I did like this amazing beauty pop-up. They were going to the beauty space. They just launched this in 2020, um, which they're known for fashion, and they we did this like influencer experience where everybody got to like try it on, but be at this like gorgeous social, uh, club, private club. And they got to like have um, makeup artists put it on, like they just it was very like. It was very experiential in the fact that they got to touch everything, see everything and experience what it would feel like to, you know, just to have like the beauty around them, as opposed to just going into a store picking it up and like trying on some blush.
Harmonie Kreiger:We had like a couple of moments that, yeah, it just made them feel special and I came up with some fun concepts for them to take part in. And then I did one for LOL Dolls, which is like the kids dolls. They were launching a movie and I did this like amazing, amazing, pop up with like their new line and really just to bring joy to kids. And we had all these fun Instagram moments and people can like you know, there's like so many fun things. It was like Disneyland, like you can just play. So, yeah, I just love creating fun, innovative things that are new, like in the sense that people could just like feel that they're a part of something, and then also connecting with others, because I think a lot of these influencers too, like when I'm doing this, they just go, they take their selfie or picture and then they leave, and so what I was really about with Pop your Shop was creating new experiences where people can connect and share information and feel like they've made a new friend at an event.
Nicole Kelly:That's much more fun, in my opinion, I think, think than just kind of snapping a picture and leaving so this last portion I do this with all my guests is very much like the actor's studio, so these are just kind of short form questions. You don't need to like think too much about it, okay, so what is your favorite yiddish word?
Harmonie Kreiger:uh, let's, uh, I, I would say chutzpah ch Chutzpah. It's a good one. What I say I try to have all the time and I love other people's chutzpah.
Nicole Kelly:What is your favorite Jewish holiday?
Harmonie Kreiger:Well, I don't know if I would say holiday. I think Shabbat, though, is my favorite thing. It's just connected me so much more to pausing, turning off all my devices and connecting with the people that I love. That has changed everything for me.
Nicole Kelly:I need to disconnect my devices at least every once in a while. I need to work on that. I'm bad at it, it's so difficult. So we talked about this. If you had a bat mitzvah today, what would your theme be?
Harmonie Kreiger:Oh, Barbie for sure. But everybody would be like a different Barbie and everybody would be a different Ken.
Nicole Kelly:What profession other than your own would you want to attempt?
Harmonie Kreiger:Oh, my goodness, so many. I love trying new things and being like. Every time I go to Starbucks I feel like I would love to be a barista because I had no idea how to do any of those things. But it boggles my mind how much they know and how friendly they are when they deliver, like the coffee drinks, like I feel like I would want to do that Also. I have a dream I would be a professional dancer, 100%, where I perform. That is like the dream of all dreams 100% where I perform.
Nicole Kelly:That is like the dream of all dreams, If heaven is real and God is there to welcome you what would you like to hear them say?
Harmonie Kreiger:Harmony, you truly made an impact on the world, and everybody that you love is going to be okay, and they will meet you here when they're ready.
Nicole Kelly:So is there anything you want to plug so that anybody listening knows about? I know you talked about your podcast. If you want to talk a little bit about that or anything else you're working on.
Harmonie Kreiger:I would love to plug the podcast because it's finally going to come out next month after five years.
Harmonie Kreiger:So it will be Life with harmony and it will be focused on personal development, but it'll be solo cast, interviewing experts and really bringing harmony into your life and, in the areas where you feel stuck, giving you digestible tools to really get you there. And I'm my own client in this podcast, so everything that I was like going through when I did turn 40, it's for everybody, but especially people that feel stuck at a certain age, really getting them through those times but helping them navigate with tools where they can kind of get out of their own head. That's really what the podcast is about.
Harmonie Kreiger:And then new information in all sectors, so it'll be everything. Wellness too, especially for women, because our hormones start to change and I didn't know that. Oh yeah, it'll be introducing a lot of experts and like practitioners in those fields as well To kind of bring in new information, and that will just be. My Instagram Will be at Harmony Krieger, which will be the same Instagram. I'll have life with Harmony, but that will be the. It will be all under really one umbrella.
Harmonie Kreiger:And then I'm also working on I'm doing. I already created a Jewish support group for women in LA, but I'm going to expand the community and open that up and start to do events for Jewish women all over. Oh, cool.
Nicole Kelly:Well, when you're in New York, please let me know I would love to come and I have a few people in New York that please let me know I would love to come, and I have a few people in New York that I'm collaborating with, so maybe we can chat too and see how we can bring. Yeah, let me know we will. You have my info. I will. Thank you so much for joining me. It has been a pleasure talking to you.
Music:When the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars, then peace will guide the planets and love will steer the stars. This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius. The age of Aquarius, aquarius, aquarius. Harmony and understanding, sympathy and trust abounding, no more falsehood or derision, golden living dreams of visions, mystic crystal revelation and the mind's true liberation Aquarius, aquarius, aquarius, aquarius, aquarius, aquarius, aquarius. When the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars, then peace will guide the planet and love will stay the same.
