Shebrew in the City
Shebrew in the City is a podcast exploring all things Jewish. Combining interviews and informational episodes, join Nicole Kelly as she discusses her journey with motherhood, spirituality, and everything from Hanukkah to the Holocaust. Giving a voice to modern Jews and spreading love and joy, whether you're Jewish, Jew-ish, or not anything resembling Jewish at all, there's something here for everyone.
Shebrew in the City
"Ahava אַהֲבָה" - An Interview with Netta Asner-Minster
What if you could find the perfect balance between tradition and modernity in your religious life? Join us as we sit down with Netta Asner-Minster, an influential Jewish educator who takes us on a journey from her childhood in Silver Spring, Maryland, to her pivotal move to Jerusalem. With heartfelt anecdotes, Netta shares how her family’s observance evolved over time and the unique experiences that shaped her faith.
Ever wondered about the intricacies of modesty and hair covering among Orthodox Jewish women? Netta provides a fascinating historical and cultural backdrop while sharing her personal experiences navigating these traditions in contemporary society. From her service in the IDF spokesperson's unit to the challenges faced by religious and non-religious individuals alike, we explore the complex tapestry of Jewish life in Israel. Netta's insights into military service and the impact of media representation during times of conflict offer a unique perspective on the intersection of faith, duty, and communication.
Education and personal growth take center stage as we explore the vital role of knowledgeable women in the Jewish community. Learn about the Orthodox conversion process, the importance of community involvement, and how Netta's own experiences have shaped her approach to teaching Hebrew and Jewish traditions. Whether you're interested in becoming more observant, understanding Jewish customs in areas without a Jewish community, or simply seeking the transformative power of love from the soul, this episode offers a wealth of wisdom and inspiration. Tune in and celebrate the unity and resilience that bind us together in this profound conversation with Netta Asner-Minster.
The outro music features Yoni Z - Ahava -- You can purchase on Apple Music here.
Follow Netta Asner-Minster on Instagram. Follow her blogs here.
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Visiting a city for the first time and not sure what to do? A walking tour is a great place to start, TopDog T ours is in Boston, Toronto, Philadelphia and New York city. To book a walking tour, you can visit us at topdogtours. com and be sure to check out our social media accounts for offers and discounts. Hi, this is Nicole Kelly and this is Shebrew in the City, and I have my first interview after quite a long break, so I'm really excited about this and this guest in particular. Today I am talking to Netta Asner-Minster and she is a Jewish educator and influencer and I've been following her for quite some time, and I was just talking before we started about how I'm so excited about this interview because I get to actually talk to her instead of just watching her videos. So how are you doing today?
Netta Asner-Minster:I am doing well. I'm after a good night's sleep. I have a four and a half month old who, thank God, is now sleeping at night.
Nicole Kelly:I'm jealous of that. My daughter didn't really start sleeping through the night until she was like 18 months old and going to bed a decent time.
Netta Asner-Minster:So she doesn't sleep through the night. She's in her. She went through her regression and she wakes up, you know, in the middle of the night, but she gives me, you know, more time than before.
Nicole Kelly:That's good. That's good. I'm jealous. So, like I was saying before we started, you are my first international guest. Netta is talking to us from Jerusalem, so she's my first guest who is in Israel and my first international guest, so I'm really excited to talk to her. So, kind of just jumping in, you were not born in Israel, so where were you born and what was your religious upbringing like before you made Aliyah and moved to Israel, born and what was your religious upbringing like before you made aliyah and moved to israel?
Netta Asner-Minster:so I was born in silver spring, maryland. That's where I grew up until I was eight years old, and um, I grew up monorthodox, but my parents themselves were are not so as observant as I am today. Um, so we also went to a conservative synagogue, but it was one of those conservative synagogues that were borderline non-Orthodox, meaning that it was mixed seating, but they wouldn't have women participate in services or they wouldn't have a female rabbi. They actually had an Orthodox rabbi in the conservative shul. But that is also what kind of started my Jewish journey, because through being in that shul and being able to be in a mixed seating as a female young kid, I was able to lead prayers in the shul, so that was very meaningful to me.
Nicole Kelly:I've never I've never heard of such a thing like an Orthodox rabbi at a conservative synagogue. It's so interesting. I went to a. I grew up going to a conservative synagogue, but I feel like, having since moved to New York, everything's a little bit different. On the coast, what's considered conservative here is closer to like Orthodox, modern Orthodox, where at home it's a little less, a little more lenient, it's a little more liberal. So it's just so interesting to hear about, like I don't want to say denominations I don't know if that's even the correct term but the different like types of Judaism and how it influenced people.
Netta Asner-Minster:That synagogue is just one of a kind. It's like many are very different nowadays, but yes.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, yeah, I've learned that synagogues sometimes operate so differently they almost feel like a different denomination of Judaism because, like I'll talk to people who grew up in other conservative synagogues, it was like a very different experience for them. So that's one of the things I love talking about with people is kind of their specific journey growing up. So you said you were eight when you moved to Israel. So what inspired your family to make Aliyah and did this change the observancy or how observant your family was?
Netta Asner-Minster:So basically, what brought us to make Aliyah is that my mom is Israeli and so the story is that she actually went to the States because she was older and hadn't gotten married yet and basically went to change location. There's a Hebrew saying, mishanem Ako, mishanem Azal, which means you're changing your luck by changing the location. So that's exactly what she did and she met my dad and she always wanted to come back to Israel and had family, and does have family here, and my father, who is even older, his parents, passed away and his mother passed away when I was in second grade. So it just kind of made sense that timeline, but it was always in the cards that we were going to make aliyah. It just happened to be that it was, you know, eight years after I was born and my youngest brother was two at the time.
Netta Asner-Minster:I mean, I have one brother, but my youngest sibling, basically, and our observance did change because we didn't really have the option or variety of synagogues around us. In the same way, in the neighborhood we went to, the synagogue was a little bit more observant, it was even. It was orthodox, it was not non-orthodox, and but the schools we went to were a little bit more open. So I don't, I mean it didn't change. It changed our observance level, by the way we actually practiced, but in the home we stayed. You know the way we were beforehand. But yeah, definitely our observance outside the house was a little bit different, a little bit more orthodox, just because those were the options around us is your mom from Jerusalem or is she from a different part of Israel?
Nicole Kelly:She's from Jerusalem. Yeah, oh, that's nice that she was able to kind of go back to her hometown and bring her family with her. Yeah, had you visited before you made Aliyah? No, so it was your first time going. That's crazy.
Netta Asner-Minster:Yeah, we were so throughout that eight years that my mom, that we were in Maryland, my mom was having a kid every year and a half. It was just a lot the idea of flying to Israel, because there was always a plan to be going to Israel. We knew we would just end up there.
Nicole Kelly:How did you feel about making the big move? I moved across the country when I was in my late 20s and I was married and I feel like it was difficult. So I can't imagine moving at such a young age to a completely different country with you know. I mean obviously being Jewish, you know you felt welcomed, but you know a very different culture and lifestyle.
Netta Asner-Minster:It's funny because I think that I was just at the age where I mean, on one hand, I'm able to still grasp the culture I'm not too old but at the same time I've always been American and Israeli. It took me a long time to embrace that. When I was in high school I would only answer people in Hebrew. I was very adamant that I'm Israeli. But then growing up and I think we'll get there later on but I ended up being in positions and jobs where I was constantly using my English. And here I've married a guy who's completely American. But I've embraced both sides of me.
Netta Asner-Minster:But it took me a long time to realize that I am American and also Israeli. So I guess that was something that I took and the change while we were speaking about it for so long. It was difficult and was more and also difficult socially, to be honest. But it was young, enough age that I was able to really fit in and the big bonus was that I had my mom who spoke Hebrew, so I really learned Hebrew very quickly, to the point they'll never forget in my first year the teacher who was supposed to teach us. She was on maternity leave and when she got back she did not know that I made aliyah. I did not know Hebrew well at all when we first moved, so you know. So that goes to show that I mean that it was an okay transition regarding just culture-wise and language. It was just later, on other things, that I had to embrace about, you know, being being part of both worlds.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, it's funny because I was literally just talking about this. Last night there was a young lady she's 20 who won the freestyle wrestling at the Olympics. Yeah, for America, but she identifies as American. Israeli and this is something I hear a lot more from you know people and see online that there's people who either were born in Israel and live in America or vice versa, or they have an Israeli parent. So I think it's an interesting identity that's morphed that I really like. So you talked about being modern Orthodox. Can you classify what that means? I live in a building with a lot of modern Orthodox people so I feel like I could maybe touch on that. But being modern Orthodox I think for my listeners it would clarify a couple things if you explained exactly what that was.
Netta Asner-Minster:For sure. I will also say that for every person it's very different, that a lot of these things are self-identification, stuff, like that. So I'll just say, for in general, how I see it and that's how I identify myself as this is that religiously, I am orthodox, I follow Jewish law and it's very important to me. I keep fully Shabbat and kosher and the laws of you know, family, purity and whatever, the holidays and etc. But what differentiates me from somebody who's, let's say, ultra-orthodox, is that I am also aware and exposed to the modern world.
Netta Asner-Minster:I'm now talking to you on a podcast, I use my computer, I use my phone, I'm on Instagram, I'm aware of you know, pop culture and I know who Taylor Swift is OK. So then, when I'm listening to music, I'm listening to pop, pop music and the popular music rather than a shiur by a rabbi. So, and another thing is that, yes, I follow Jewish law, but if you, you know, see me, I am not covering fully my hair, and I'm aware that the ideal is that I would cover my hair, and that's something that I would, you know, wish that I will get to someday, but I don't, you know, really feel comfortable about that right now personally, and that's also something that makes me non-orthodox is that I choose this and I'm okay with it, rather than putting a wig on or fully covering my hair and everything. So that's kind of how I differentiate, or what it means for me to be non-orthodox.
Nicole Kelly:Interesting. I like the autonomy of that. This is what I want to do, especially when it comes to covering hair. If you could talk a little bit about that, because you're the expert about why Orthodox women cover their hair and I've also noticed that a lot of what we would consider modern Orthodox women they've been putting on. They wear headbands or like head coverings to some extent, and I know that you do that. Can you explain kind of the thought process behind that?
Netta Asner-Minster:extent I know that you do that. Can you explain kind of the thought process behind that? Sure, so the Jewish law regarding so, first of all, married women are supposed to cover their hair. That's first and foremost. It's a sign that a woman is married and, according to the Jewish texts, you, either you have to cover your hair, okay, so there's two opinions of what that means. It's either all your hair, that's what what's important, so that sometimes you'll see people wrapping their hair so you can see it's like in a ponytail or something like that, but they've wrapped their hair into some extent, or that it's their head. So they'll cover the top of their head with their hat, with a scarf of some kind, but you'll see hair flowing down. So those are two opinions. That that's what you're supposed to do.
Netta Asner-Minster:Now I want to say, like in the 19th century or something like that, in the modern era, there were rabbis who came out who said you know, this really isn't a mark of you know. I mean, this really isn't something that you need for modesty, because even women who are modest in general, you know, they don't cover their hair and it's not considered something immodest that a married woman is not covering her hair. So if that's what's common in your community and that's where you live and people don't cover their hair necessarily, then you can do that you don't have to cover your hair, and then that there's a lot of backlash with that, but still those opinions have stayed. So that's why you have people who, let's say, will wear a headband or something of this sort that's just symbolic on their head, just so that you know I am married and that I have something different compared to somebody who's not married.
Netta Asner-Minster:But at the same time, I'm not completely following the Jewish law and I will say that the explanation sometimes people give is that you know, I live in a community, in society people don't really cover their hair in general and that makes you know me stand out or that makes me actually like here, if you're wearing in a very beautiful way, that can be maybe even not so modest, because people won't necessarily know that it's a wig. Um, which, uh, funny story, my, my husband, who was not Jewish, beforehand his friends actually went to like a supermarket and really thought that a woman didn't, that it wasn't a wig, let's put it that way and I was like this is defeating the purpose yeah, you know that's so interesting.
Nicole Kelly:you brought that up because my husband had a conversation with this about somebody a couple of years ago about, like, for me, my hair is a mess, all always Like it looks the best when someone does it professionally. So if I chose to cover my hair with a wig, it would probably look better, which I think is like counterproductive to the idea a little bit. So it's. It's such an interesting topic to me because I didn't grow up, you know, in a family that covered their heads or were around women who did that. So I think I'm just fascinated by the personal choices that married women make. Yes, you talked also about being modest. Can you talk a little bit about how being an Orthodox woman affects the way that you dress personally? I know, like you said, it's different for everybody, but for you personally what that means.
Netta Asner-Minster:Sure, I just want to add to the beforehand that I'll say Sephardim, and specifically there's a known rabbi from the 20th century, rabbi Ovadia Yosef, who actually say that you're not supposed to wear a wig. So you'll see a lot of Sephardic women wear hats. Ok, because they exactly say that the wig is going against that. So usually women who wear wigs are Ashkenazi and also Hasidic as well. So about the modesty, so for me it. So I'll say, when I first met John, I would wear more cleavage a little bit and not not having to do with him. That's just how I was beforehand.
Netta Asner-Minster:yeah, yeah and I would wear skirts or, you know, jeans or shorts. I didn't shorts, whatever they were above my knee, and now I don't do that. So, meaning, I make sure that I, even though I'm wearing short sleeves and I will wear pants, that's because you know what I'm talking about. Society today, I find that, you know, people don't look at pants and are like, wow, that's, you know, not modest. So I'll be, I'll choose wisely what pants I'll wear. I don't wear shorts, I don't wear something that's, you know, very, very tight. That's not what I would wear.
Netta Asner-Minster:But I will wear pants and I wear, you know, things that are beyond my knee in that case, whether it's a skirt or a dress, and also, I won't wear anything that doesn't have sleeves and I'll always be covered. So, yes, what I wear looks normal to the. Somebody seeing me walking around doesn't look out of the ordinary that I'm wearing a very long skirt or long sleeves when it's boiling outside of the ordinary that I'm wearing a very long skirt or long sleeves when it's boiling outside. But, um, but I I changed personally and I'm mindful of what I buy, like my mother-in-law wanted to get me a shirt and it hadn't opened back, I said, no, I'm not gonna wear that uh. So you know I do have to think twice before getting something yeah, no, that makes sense.
Nicole Kelly:You talked about pants. Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't the rule with that have to do with I think if I I might be completely wrong and we're going to edit this have to do with, like, cross-dressing, like wearing clothing belonging to the other sex, and that's why religious women don't wear pants. Is that where that comes from?
Netta Asner-Minster:So there's two things. You're correct that in the Torah it says that. You know. You're completely correct that in the Torah it says that a woman and a man should not wear like the other's clothing. And so from that you know they say a pant is a man's clothing and therefore you shouldn't wear pants. Now at the same time you can say but it's now women's clothing, so you can wear that.
Netta Asner-Minster:But the thing is is that here somebody pointed out to me, or a very close friend who's more orthodox than me.
Netta Asner-Minster:She was saying you know, when you wear jeans they're very tight and they show the shape of the leg or they show the shape of a woman's, you know, of a butt also, and that's not modest and honestly, I can, I can see that and understand that. But and again, going back to what we're talking about with the head covering, it depends what community you're in. If you're in a really orthodox community, then nobody's wearing pants and you're wearing these very tight jeans, then you'll stick out like a sore thumb. You'll be very obvious. But if you live in a community that it's mixed and you have a variety of people, if you're wearing normal jeans and not something that's like shorts or whatever, or you're wearing pants that are a little bit more wide, then that could be considered modest, and that's how I see it personally. But so it's those two things together, also the idea of not wearing a man's clothing, but also the fact that some jeans are really, you know, not modest If you, according to you, know those standards that you go by, in that case, Gotcha.
Nicole Kelly:So jumping back a little bit. So, being as you identify as an American and an Israeli, do you celebrate American holidays along with Jewish holidays, like, for example, thanksgiving or Fourth of July, or I don't know? Israel, I'm sure, has Mother's Day, but is it the same day as American Mother's Day? So how does that work in your family?
Netta Asner-Minster:So growing up so I'm talking about the Asner family we didn't really do that and I think also I think it was because my mom is Israeli, so all these holidays were kind of foreign to her and it wasn't super important to my dad. But now in the Minster family it's very important, and so is the holiday of, you know, super Bowl, as well as football stuff like that. You know, and I I'm going to. I now know so much about you know Green Bay Packers and the Lions, because those are my husband's teams. I hope I haven't made people mad right now.
Nicole Kelly:I know American sports teams can be very divisive. It's it's kind of like cult-like.
Netta Asner-Minster:Exactly so I'll say, in our family then it is very much celebrated. We do a thanksgiving meal and we in fact live in a very american neighborhood. So, um, you have to order a turkey. They don't like sell it in the store, uh and and, and they know, like the store nearby they're like, oh, you need turkey, and it's like they're enormous. I don't know where they get them from, where these Israeli turkeys are from, but they know, they know.
Nicole Kelly:End of.
Netta Asner-Minster:November or whatever. That's so funny.
Nicole Kelly:Thanksgiving was never a big thing in my personal family growing up but my husband's family Thanksgiving is huge but I always felt like it's because Passover was a huge event in my family. My great aunt would have like 40 people over. It was like she'd bring someone in to wash dishes. It was like the super bowl of holidays. So I feel like passover became more impressive and now like it's just me and like my family and a couple non-jewish friends at passover and I'm kind of like I miss that. I actually, for I had to write um, uh, like a screenplay treatment for a class I'm taking and they were talking about like the ideal meal because it was a food and it's a food and film class and I described like a Passover meal where everybody in my important my life dead and alive and come back so clearly like Pesach is a very important holiday for me and I'm excited as my daughter gets older to hopefully like, expand that to like her friends and their family.
Nicole Kelly:She's three, she's three, she's three. She's so funny. We were at like a taught Shabbat the other day and I guess I wasn't covering my eyes good enough to say the blessing over the candle. She's like Mommy eyes. So we're teaching her like very early. She knows she can't say the prayers completely yet, but she knows the deal.
Netta Asner-Minster:And she was like you are not covering your eyes, mommy. So she points out, when my husband or my dad don't have their kippah on, he's like kippah.
Nicole Kelly:I don't know, they're such like rule followers and then half the time and then the other half they do whatever they want. It's a fun age, so kind of continuing with growing up. Did you have a bat mitzvah?
Netta Asner-Minster:Yeah, so, um, I did have a bat mitzvah. Actually this goes to the jewish journey, unique situation, type of person and family that we are. That, um, I, it was an orthodox bat mitzvah and everything but, um, I also wanted to make a feminist high school growing up. Um, and we, I read torah, torah and from an actual scroll, which is pretty unique, and the part there was a, there was a whole ceremony surrounding my bat mitzvah, rather than just being a party with me saying a few words. It became something that was very thought out, that my mom and aunt did a song together and I joined them in the song and another aunt, you know, did a poem for me and there were various speeches and in Dvar Torah and reading Torah and it wasn't part of a Shabbat service, it was during the week, but I added much more to it and it definitely was innovative compared to what other people were doing at the time and especially within an Orthodox school, to what other people were doing at the time and especially within an Orthodox school.
Nicole Kelly:It's so interesting kind of the what is the word? Kind of the history, I guess you could say, of bat mitzvahs, because, coming from a conservative synagogue that my family had basically helped found, I had older second cousins who they'd basically do the prayer over the candles at a Friday night service and that was it. And then I was the first woman on either side of my family to have to read from the Torah and have an actual bat mitzvah. And I didn't really realize that until my husband asked me. He was like wow, that was kind of a big deal. And then I had mentioned we had talked about, like when we were talking about the interview themes and you're like no-transcript and we have some wine to like a half a million dollar party on the Upper West Side.
Nicole Kelly:So, I don't know, I'm just fascinated by it, and people spend obscene amounts of money, like some of these party planners I follow on Instagram. They're showing these bar and bat mitzvahs and I'm just like that's a down payment on a house, a very nice house.
Netta Asner-Minster:Wow, and also I mean I'm wondering also how that affects people in the class socially, whatever, because you're creating all this pressure of you have to do a crazy and then there'd be like a break and you'd go away and like the girls would get their hair done and they'd have like a night party.
Nicole Kelly:But of course, night parties are more expensive and my mom was always like I want to save money spending your wedding because nobody sits around and talks about their bat mitzvahs and I say this almost every episode jokes on her. I sit around and talk about my bat mitzvah all the time with people so.
Nicole Kelly:But yeah, no, it's so Even just also like weddings are so different in other countries. I like I see a lot of pictures from weddings in Israel and it's this beautiful kind of we come together outside under the chuppah and it's just a nice party. Where in America becomes this insane thing. So I'm just obsessed with kind of the celebratory differences.
Netta Asner-Minster:I'll just say about weddings for a second that I was shocked that it's not just a wedding, like you're talking about the differences of the wedding itself, but you have a l'chaim and an engagement party, because you have also, you know, the Jewish stuff and also like a bachelorette, uh and uh, you know, whatever you call it, like a bachelor party, yeah and bridal showers right exactly everything.
Netta Asner-Minster:so you do also like the American things that are common, and the Jewish stuff too, and just like you end up with doing, you know, 10 parties for one wedding.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, a lot of people they'll do like actual trips for bachelorette parties. It's very popular in, like Nashville in America is like the bachelorette destination of the country and you know these people are expected to pay thousands of dollars to go on a trip to support their friend where it's like we just went to a bar for mine. But people, it's a big deal for a lot of people. It, I feel like it's just capitalism and it's its finest, but it's become kind of a normal thing. I guess I don't know. I feel like we had a really, really nice wedding but all those parties leading up to it like we didn't go crazy so I think my husband had a pretty epic bachelor party, but he didn't get all the other parties that I got, so it makes sense.
Nicole Kelly:So you're living in Israel and a big part of living in Israel in your late teens is serving in the IDF, so can you talk to me a little bit about? You know when people serve in the IDF, the requirements, you know when you don't have to and what you did exactly when you were in the IDF.
Netta Asner-Minster:Sure. So I'll just say that military service is mandatory in Israel. However, there are various people and ways that you don't have to serve. I'll say, for example, israeli Arabs are exempt, for example, just because of conflict of interest or stuff like that. I don't want people to have issues with that, so they do volunteer, but it has to be volunteer. Then you have people who are also physically and mentally not able to serve in the army. Then you have people who are also physically and mentally not able to serve in the army because the basic requirement that you have, that you have to be able to use um, you know a weapon and be able to guard a base. So, even if you're not actively using it, every person gets training to actually know how to use it. So if, for example, you, god forbid, have epilepsy and then you you can't hold a weapon in that, so you're going to be exempt from doing the army. Another last group is people who are religious.
Nicole Kelly:So this is politically yes, this is what I wanted to touch on. There's a big I feel like in the past two years I've kind of been following a lot of Israeli news. I know a decent amount about the politics. I know this is a big source of conflict in the country.
Netta Asner-Minster:So this is specifically for ultra-Orthodox men, that they are studying Torah and then not going to serve in the army. And then you have religious women who can just say I'm a religious woman, then they don't serve. However, it's become common that they do national service instead. So most people are okay with that, because if you're going instead to work in an orphanage and with you know, at-risk youth or at a hospital or stuff like that, then people are, you know, more accepted and okay with that. I will say that I originally thought I was going to do national service because I had a dream that I wanted to be a national service girl who would inspire, you know, a Jewish community in America, the same way that I was inspired by two women who came from Israel when I was still in Maryland, I decided to join the army because I was inspired by somebody else who this is actually a great story that she was not technically, halakhically Jewish, meaning her dad wasish and her mom was muslim and she said, um, I can't wait to go serve in the army. I'm super zionist, I'm super israeli, but I'm not recognized or seen as jewish. And I said, wow, she is so passionate, excited to be in the army. I have no reason that I do not want that. I shouldn't be going to the army, rather than I just wanted to do something. So it's like that minute I heard her, I said I be going to the Army rather than I just wanted to do something. So it was like that minute I heard her, I said I'm going into the Army and that was it. So when other people were debating and you know, should I do National Service or Army or whatever, I was like this is what I'm doing, that's it.
Netta Asner-Minster:And so the process is unique because you do two tests, basically, and you get scores. Those scores determine what positions are open for you. Basically, test basically and you get scores. Those scores determine what positions are open for you, basically, and I got literally a text saying that you know, here are some on this day there's, you know, tests or whatever for the spokesperson's unit and you're welcome to come. So I said, okay, let's go for it, and I passed the one test and then two interviews. I'll just say that there's a stigma regarding the spokesperson's unit that you have to have connections in order to get in. So I had been asked up until this day who do I know and what connections did I have? And I was like none. I didn't know anyone in the Army.
Netta Asner-Minster:On my own merit and I'll say that I think it changed, that it used to be more exclusive and then they very much opened it up so that it was completely married. I know a lot of people who really didn't have connections, who were serving alongside with me, and then the specific position I got was just dependent on availability within the unit, and I worked with North American media, so that means it means a classic, you know media, sometimes a newspaper, radio, tv, not not internet or not like random blogs and stuff like that, but really like a classic media, and then the reporters who were usually in Israel. That's what we would work with, because you can't just call up an IDF officer and ask for a brief or a question. You have to go through the spokesperson's unit to either again ask, answer your questions about whatever happened or, um, to like to go to a drill or go to a base or speak to somebody or get information. So, um, the idea or the goal was to be somebody who's to actually be making sure that the IDF's message was going, getting out there and initiating ideas to the reporters that were also relevant and interesting and that they would be had. Take, you know, using our message in that case, rather than writing.
Netta Asner-Minster:Writing on their own and perhaps not being the most positive thing about israel, which I think many people can uh agree is happening a lot recently, but you know it's. We do the job. You know. An idea is to prep and provide information to the reporters and have personal relationships so that when a war does break out, you know they have the information. But at the same time, when a war does break out, these outlets often send reporters who are not usually here. So those relationships that you have built and worked on and whatever, sometimes are not as relevant anymore because they brought, you know, a more known person to be here covering the war. So then that changes things and on one hand it's cool to be able to work with them. The other hand, you don't always get the best coverage for.
Nicole Kelly:Israel. I think that's part of the problem that's been going on since October is that people who don't know what they're talking about or don't have any context of thousands of years of history and they're just kind of inserting their personal beliefs on everything. But I like that that type of uh unit exists. How old were you when you, when you started this?
Netta Asner-Minster:oh, sorry, I shouldn't say what age. Um, so you have to be minimum 18. Uh, so, depending when you were born, during the year, sometimes you really, or some people, a lot of people do a preparatory year as well. Um, so it has to be minimum 18. But people draft also older than that for sure, especially like people who made Aliyah and moved to Israel. So they'll draft in later on in their life. I was a little over 18. So I finished when I was a little over 20. So women go in for two years. Men used to go in for three years. It has been short to two years and eight months. It's supposed to be that for both men and women it is two years and eight months. I don't know why they haven't extended it for women to be additional eight months. It's easier to cut those four months for men, but they haven't extended it for women. So it's two years and then two years and eight months.
Nicole Kelly:And then usually people if they want to go to college after serving in the IDF.
Netta Asner-Minster:I'm the odd person out who goes to university college right afterward. People usually do the trip, they work, they take their time and then they start university. But I'll say that that's what makes people first of all. It's three years here, not four, and people are much more focused when they do start college. So I knew immediately I'm doing international relations and Jewish history and that was my degree was in that. So those three years that I studied, that's what I learned. So it's not. You know, I'm learning a little bit of everything and then I'm going to choose my major.
Nicole Kelly:It's. These are the subjects I am learning. I like coming back as an older student I think as an older student myself, back in school you do appreciate it more and you're more grounded At America. It's such a thing that you start college immediately after high school and I think a lot of children are unprepared and they don't know how to kind of take care of themselves or motivate themselves without a parental figure, and I think it's not always the best thing but, I know a gap year is common in other countries.
Nicole Kelly:That's not really a thing that Americans do, which I think I wish they did. I'll probably encourage my daughter to be like take a gap year, work, go, go on a vacation, I think come to there's great programs yeah there's programs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so you were also. I read that you were a tour guide at the Knesset. Was this through the IDF or was this something separate?
Netta Asner-Minster:So it was a student job actually. So there are various student jobs in Israel in general and the idea is to really help you, you know, push your career, you know, while you're a student. At the same time, you don't you know how to do. You do shifts, you do limited hours that will fit your student schedule. So I gave tours in English in the Knesset. So it will be a huge variety of groups. It could be, you know, variety of groups. It could be you know people who are getting a private tour, just random people who come and want a tour in English throughout the Knesset a guest of someone you know. I've met very, you know, cool people and groups through the year that I was working there.
Nicole Kelly:So we're going to continue talking about education a little bit. So you are an educated, observant Jewish woman and I know within certain denominations this is something that is not encouraged, to the point of even being frowned upon. Why do you think it is important for women who are observant to be educated and the benefits of that?
Netta Asner-Minster:of that. So I am very much somebody who believes, you know, that knowledge is power and I think that the more we look at the sources and the more we know, the more meaning we will find in everything that we do and also have the agency and the ownership to ask questions. Agency and the ownership to ask questions Because, at the end of the day, you know, when I was studying to be a Kala teacher which means teaching family purity the teacher said a beautiful thing is that you know we are able to change. You know what is normal and even like Jewish law specifically, if we ask the questions and present, you know the different facts and situations that we are put into. So, yes, we might not be the authority in various things, but also we are becoming an authority. We are asking the questions, presenting the situation, knowing the Jewish law in of itself to actually bring a change. So I think you know, the more we know, the more we can be involved and actively be aware of what Judaism actually is.
Nicole Kelly:So let's kind of jump into your adult life. One of the things you offer is services as a conversion consultant. What exactly does that mean?
Netta Asner-Minster:Okay. So I'll say that I noticed that when I was speaking to a lot of people through my Instagram page that people didn't realize what is the process of an orthodox conversion. And I'll just say and we might be going into this generally soon but for an orthodox conversion you need a sponsor rabbi, and need to have a big dean, a rabbinic council that is near you. So sometimes people didn't even know that they were studying for years, reading books and learning and starting to practice various Jewish practices. And I would tell them I mean, that's great, it's good that you are practicing and doing those things, but you know, being a part of Judaism is actually being in a community, immersing, connecting to the, to the rabbi and everything. So if you don't have that near you, one you have to consider if conversion is for you and two, you might have to move um or, you know, look into that and see what makes sense for you or the various options and paths.
Netta Asner-Minster:Uh, so that is what a consultant means, that just giving all that information and sharing the options. So here I'll just give an example. Also sorry that sometimes women speak to me who are really interested in immersing further in their Jewish journey. However, their spouse is not so, or they're not Jewish, or they are and just not observant. So then we talk through what the options could be and it really depends on people's personal situation, their preference, what even they're practicing now. Sometimes people have a certain vision and not necessarily know what is required. So that's where the consult and consultation comes in is really matching up the reality and the situation and the background to the particular person.
Nicole Kelly:You mentioned Orthodox conversion. How does conversion differ within different types of Judaism? Because I know you can convert through my synagogue, which is Reform. You can convert through a conservative synagogue, which is reform. You can convert through a conservative synagogue. So how? What is that? What is the differentiation between that?
Netta Asner-Minster:So I'll first and foremost say that a big difference is is you know who will recognize it. And an Orthodox conversion will be recognized by all denominations, whereas conservative will often recognize reform, but sometimes not. Anyways, the reformer recognizes everything. Conservative will sometimes recognize reform, orthodoxy will only recognize orthodox. Anyways, because we're complicated about who will recognize what that's one and then the other is just what the process is and what the expectations are.
Netta Asner-Minster:So, excuse me, reform Judaism doesn't necessarily follow Jewish law, meaning that there isn't that obligation. You have to do things, the things are offered as choice. So you can keep Shabbat, you can keep kosher, and we'll teach you what that looks like, but there's no obligation there in the same way that there is for conservative and orthodoxy. So that's one. In conservative Judaism there's also the concept of equal obligation, that both men and women are obligated, and that means that that's why a woman can be a rabbi, a woman can lead services, etc. In orthodoxy the Jewish law is is very much like you have to do this and this is, you have to observe this and therefore, and also that way the the process looks different. So so for reform and conservative um, you do it through the synagogue and the particular rabbi. So when you're doing a conservative or reform conversion, like you, you're doing it through your synagogue or a synagogue, whereas in orthodoxy you can have a sponsor rabbi. You can go to a different shul and the bet din could be in a different city, but you just have to put that all together. So meaning you have to find a sponsor rabbi who's saying I am vouching for you, I am the person who will be with you when you go to the bet din for you, I am the person who will be with you when you go to the bed in and in earth.
Netta Asner-Minster:And in Orthodox conversion you have usually three clear, set meetings that will take you throughout the year and a certain curriculum that is that you're supposed to be doing before each meeting and it is a process you're not expected to like keep kosher immediately, but at a certain point you are supposed to. Are you really immersing in a community? But the end of the day I think I mentioned this before um, the betin are the one who sign your uh conversion um certificate, uh, even though most of the time and most of your meaningful interactions will be with the community and with the sponsor rabbi. So even though you meet the rabbis only three times, the other ones who really are important for the process, and with the sponsor rabbi. So even though you meet the rabbis only three times, they're the ones who really are important for the process and for the official conversion itself.
Netta Asner-Minster:I also want to say that in conservative and reform usually it is an entire year and there will be some sort of meeting at the end of three rabbis, but it's usually the rabbis of the synagogue and people who they know, and at the end of all the processes you'll immerse in the mikveh. And for men in conservative and orthodox I am not sure about reform though, so maybe you can tell me men will be required to do a circumcision also.
Nicole Kelly:I think yes, and if they're already circumcised, they do like a representational ceremony. Yeah, don't quote me on that, but I'm pretty sure that's part of the process for reform as well.
Netta Asner-Minster:Okay. So I wasn't sure, because I know sometimes I have heard that they don't always immerse in a mikveh if it's not, if there's no body of water nearby or something of the sort, that's so interesting we have.
Nicole Kelly:I Googled mikvah the other night I was like how many are in my neighborhood? There's like five within like you know, like a five mile radius. So it's so interesting, Like possibly I mean it exists, obviously being in a community where there isn't a mikvah, because I'm from Los Angeles, I live in New York, Very you know Jewish and very large Orthodox population, so they're not being a mikveh. But you can also like, for example, like you could, you could go to the ocean or something like that. Is that correct as well?
Netta Asner-Minster:Yeah, you could, but if you were in an area that didn't, you weren't near a body of water and you didn't have a mikveh. So yeah, it's difficult. I am the conservative rabbi who I used to work, like I worked with as an israeli emissary, um, he said sometimes they use a swimming pool and that those are conversions that conservative movement will not accept if they immerse in a swimming pool that seems more like a baptism than a, than a mikvah like I mean yes, but he said that.
Netta Asner-Minster:He said that it exists and it's happened before.
Nicole Kelly:So that's very weird.
Netta Asner-Minster:Yeah, I know, that's what I thought too, and I've met a lot of people who convert, reform and go to a mikveh, but it does exist. So that's why it's important to be aware of what each person's personal story is, because it really can affect the trajectory of what you can do in the Jewish world.
Nicole Kelly:So, speaking of personal stories, let's kind of jump into your relationship with your husband, because this is one of the things that initially, like your videos were popping up and I was like, oh, this is a really interesting story. So how did you meet your husband?
Netta Asner-Minster:So my husband now my husband at the time obviously wasn't, his name is John so he was on a trip with his college, depaul, to Israel, and it was a trip that was more political.
Netta Asner-Minster:The idea was to learn about the Israel-Palestinian conflict and I was the Israel side, I was an Israeli student on a panel, and we met for I think it was three hours and then a few months later, I was heading to America for the first time after 14 years, since we made Aliyah, and I was going to Maryland, obviously because that's where I'm from, and at that time I was going to be.
Netta Asner-Minster:There was the AIPAC conference, so he was going there as well because he learned about the Jewish world and how they love, you know, non-jews to be involved in various things. So he basically was able to get a ticket for free as a student who was also not Jewish, and the Jewish world and how they love, you know, non-jews to be involved in various things. So he basically was able to get a ticket for free as a student who was also not Jewish and was interested in going, and I had a friend who worked at AIPAC and therefore also was able to get a ticket for free. And then we met there and that's kind of when we started speaking with each other, and again, when we were speaking to each other was in israel and he was in america.
Nicole Kelly:So that's a long distance.
Netta Asner-Minster:Speaking to each other exactly so also like people are like how did you start talking to him? Because I was like why would I think I would develop feelings for somebody when he's anyways on the other side of the world?
Nicole Kelly:like yeah, he's completely different side of the the time zones are crazy. So for those that don't know what it is, can you explain what APEC is? Oh, they're in the news right now because there is a congresswoman who was the. I don't know if you know about the squad. Have you heard about the squad?
Netta Asner-Minster:yeah, are you talking about Cori Bush? Is that what you're talking about?
Nicole Kelly:yes, so she was like yesterday. She was like I'm gonna get vengeance. And I was like you couldn't even get re-elected, how are you going to get vengeance? And she was like very anti-semitic. But like for those, for those listening who don't know what apac is, can you just for a moment explain what apac is?
Netta Asner-Minster:um, I want to say it's the um I think it's american israel like alliance, yeah, um, and I'll just say that it is an organization that basically lobbies for Israel. So their primary role is to reach out to the congressmen and go to Capitol Hill and help with legislation to promote Israel. So obviously a lot of people who are involved are Jewish, but not necessarily meaning any person who is pro-Israel can be a part of AIPAC and active, and that's the idea is really supporting Israel and helping with the legislation for that.
Nicole Kelly:So you talked about this being a very long distance relationship of any kind. How did this relationship start? Because you're on different sides of the world. He's not Jewish. You obviously didn't see any sort of romantic connection happening because of that. So how did that progress?
Netta Asner-Minster:So we were basically talking and talking I mean, you know, texting and whatever and I'll say this is my personality, that I connect with people and I continue talking to them. I'm in touch with my childhood friend and we speak, you know, once a month, because that's what I do. So I did it not thinking, you know, something would happen or anything, and then, for whatever reason, john decided he was interested and continued to pursue. I will say that today he does not answer my texts I'm joking. Neither does my husband. I am exaggerating, he's going to be like I answered the phone, but I mean he would like, really, you know, text and respond and whatever.
Netta Asner-Minster:And it's just hilarious, you know, looking back at that now, so it started from just, you know, whatsapp messages or Facebook messages, and we just started going to every possible platform you know Snapchat and watching movies together and everything. And all of a sudden I was like, ooh, I think I have feelings for this person. Uh, we were planning a trip that I was going to come visit him in August and I and I just said I can't visit him because I have feelings and or the or that I have to say you know we are, we are going to start a relationship, but he needs to be aware that conversion is involved, or that I have to say goodbye to this person because I can't continue pursuing this, because my Jewish values and Jewish lifestyle is important to me. So I had a conversation. It was May 26, 2018.
Nicole Kelly:Oh, we remember the date yeah.
Netta Asner-Minster:And I told him just that, and I told him that he would have to convert and I was obviously very nervous and awkward, whatever, because how do you say that to somebody? And his response was I know. So Wow, I was shocked. But you know, I just clearly speak about Judaism all the time and share my passion and whatever that he caught on and even Google beforehand what it would entail.
Netta Asner-Minster:And luckily, speaking talking about before the spokesperson's unit, a friend who served with me was from the community in Chicago where John was that's where DePaul is located and he connected us to the person who basically became his sponsor, rabbi, and literally the following day he emailed him and he pretty much had a very smooth conversion story, which is why it took me a while to realize that we were very lucky that his conversion was so smooth, but he was very blessed with a community and a rabbi and that the head of the Bedin went to the synagogue that he went to and saw him on a weekly basis there.
Netta Asner-Minster:So just the stars aligned and things worked out very well. But that's kind of how the relationship started, whereas, like, I told him flat out that the conversion process would need to be a part of it and our relationship starting coincided with his conversion process, so we knew that at the end of it we're getting married. So there was like a very weird feeling of speaking to somebody for two months and knowing that I'm marrying him. But it was mutual. We felt the same way. But I always tell people because of that there are no rules in relationships.
Nicole Kelly:So you know, know, if you both agree on it and you both feel it, then you know great I'm a big believer in the idea of the shared, and you know that everything, even the things that have been happening in my life recently, that are very difficult, happen for a reason yeah so I mean, I think there, I think a month, that I know I was gonna marry my husband.
Nicole Kelly:I said to my roommate I called her mate and she looked at me and was like I want to marry him. So I think sometimes you just know. And there's a really beautiful story about my grandparents who were married for almost 50 years. They met when my grandmother was 15 and got married when she
Nicole Kelly:was 17 before she shipped out to World War II. It was like crazy. So she, you know, it was the Great Depression, she was looking for a job and she had her two younger siblings with her. And she's this 15-year-old and walks into this soda shop where my grandfather was working because it belonged to his uncle, and she met him and she walked out and was like I'm going to marry that man. And my great uncle told this story at my grandfather's funeral and he started crying. He's like, and she did Like they just knew Wow.
Netta Asner-Minster:Like, they just knew like.
Nicole Kelly:And their, their. Their headstone literally says oh, one in a million love affair. Like I, am a big believer in that. God has a way of bringing people together who need each other.
Netta Asner-Minster:Yeah.
Nicole Kelly:So I love hearing stories about other people who found each other in situations that, like there, probably should not have happened, like I'll add that he is from Northern Michigan, which Traverse City nobody knows where that is I worked with somebody. I was thinking of this when I was showering today, that I worked with somebody in my early 20s from Traverse City. So when you were like going Traverse City, I was like that is the middle of nowhere, that's what.
Netta Asner-Minster:I say, but that's because you're from LA and New York, by the way.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Netta Asner-Minster:John is like this is it is actually a city and they have everything there. It's not completely rural, but when I'm there I feel that it is because I'm very much a city girl. But if you told him or his parents that he would meet a girl from Jerusalem and marry her and convert to Orthodox Judaism, they would be like what are you talking about?
Nicole Kelly:So it's not even from Chicago. Had he met anyone? Had he? Actually? I guess, if he went to school in chicago, had he grown up with anyone who was jewish in michigan. So there's.
Netta Asner-Minster:He remembers one time that a girl you know brought dreidels to school like around around christmas time to like share her traditions, but not really. The interesting thing, though, is that they read um, they did read night by ellie weasel and the Diary of Anne Frank, and he also read this book that was about. I think it's called the Chosen or something.
Nicole Kelly:Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Netta Asner-Minster:An Orthodox person.
Nicole Kelly:Yes, there's a movie with Robbie Benson. It's like a very 80s movie. It's actually pretty good. It's about like someone who I guess you would say was modern Orthodox and he makes friends with someone who's Hasidic and kind of their differences, and the guy who's Hasidic ends up spoiler alert um ends up leaving the Hasidic community. It's a really beautiful story about a relationship between two friends if you have.
Nicole Kelly:I know I just spoiled it, but like it's a good book, I feel like it was given to me for like a Passover gift when I was like 11 or something, because that's what my great aunt did is out, so he was like very confused with that whole book, because I feel like you have to understand those communities in order to really understand what's going on here.
Netta Asner-Minster:And he was like I you know, went over his head completely. So he did read that, but, um, you know that the trip to Israel really start, really changed it for him, because then he read books about, he read the six-day war by michael oran and he just really started connecting to um the history, and then it was pretty much smooth into the religion as well, because he was searching for religion too and didn't really connect himself. His own family was, was, um, they're christian, but they never went to church, really didn't observe much, really weren't religious. So his desire of connecting to religion just happened to find itself in Judaism rather than his own, but it matched up for him specifically, it made sense. So it all worked together. Let's put it that way.
Nicole Kelly:I've talked to quite a few converts, including one of our cantors, and he was always like, yeah, just always like I had a Jewish soul. I just wasn't born into a Jewish family, and I think that's a beautiful way of thinking of it is that you always felt a connection to this, but it took a couple steps to kind of get you to where you needed to be Exactly so. Speaking of your in-laws, I know you just took a big trip to America to visit them in Michigan and, as you said, they're not Jewish, so the preparation for that you shared a little bit of this on Instagram must have been insane, because they don't keep kosher. They don't have a kosher kitchen, you know they don't. They're not Shabbat observant, so can you talk a little bit about the prep that went into that, as well as kind of the changes that had to be made in the household on Shabbat? I don't think there were any holidays during that time, were they?
Netta Asner-Minster:No, we purposely don't go when they're supposed to be a holiday, because yeah, you need to go to shul.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Netta Asner-Minster:I mean again, we don't have to, but ideally we would be in a community. It's just, it's very hard to observe specific things when you don't have any Jewish community around you. And specifically there's the concept of you know, which actually doesn't matter in holidays, but you cannot leave your like private domain. You need a string around the city or area you live so you can go. So it's a larger private domain. You can carry things within that domain yes, Patrick.
Nicole Kelly:How much does New York spend to keep the string active? Yeah, New York city spends about $200,000 to take care of that string. We have a lot of.
Netta Asner-Minster:At one point we thought it was like a million dollars but we looked it up, but it's, it's mostly maintained by by.
Nicole Kelly:Orthodox schoolsuls and different communities will donate money to the church. Yeah, yeah, I don't know if you watched Unorthodox, but the big part of that in the beginning is the string was down so she couldn't carry anything and I was like what is this? And I started deep diving into it because I don't know. Like, just like side note, like a lot of the modern orthodox people in our building, it's so interesting because we live in a 17 story building. Okay, and they will get in the elevator but they won't push the button.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, and they'll ask me to push the button and I tell them I can't do it because I'm jewish oh, and then they'll have like, and if they look at me like, how do you know that I was like, because I just because I'm not very observant doesn't mean I'm not knowledgeable, you know, and I don't want to be like and you're not supposed to ask and you're not supposed to. So it's just interesting, kind of like talked about like the personal choice, that things that people yeah, I mean.
Netta Asner-Minster:I was going to say. I thought, like in Israel you have an elevator that has a Shabbat mode that you can go.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, there are Shabbat elevators in some buildings. Yeah, you don't need to press it. Yeah, there are some. There are some buildings that have Shabbat elevators. There are hospitals and buildings that will have Shabbat doors. Our building has a door, we have a sliding door, we also have one you can open, but the elevator is not not a Shabbat elevator.
Netta Asner-Minster:Okay, so, yes, so speaking, speaking of the yes, talking about the $200,000 string.
Netta Asner-Minster:So, going back to my in-laws, to prep to your Michigan trip so I'll say that um, I think and I try to explain this to people I think it's all about respect and just awareness and knowledge. So we've gone there for already, for a few years, and we have our own dishes. So our own dishes are already waiting for us, so we don't need to do like a whole, like costuring of huge pots and pans, whatever, and there's a lake right nearby lake michigan, so we can just buy a new dish and put it in the lake and it's kosher um can you explain why you have to do that for my listeners, why you have to put what immerse dishes you don't?
Netta Asner-Minster:have to do it with every dish. Like a plastic, you don't need to. But if it is, I want to say um, ceramic, um, metal and glass, and I have to check again. I I might be incorrect, but definitely not plastic. So if you buy like a, you know a plastic spatula, you don't have to do it. Um, but let's say you buy a bowl, you know a ceramic bowl.
Netta Asner-Minster:The idea of what it is is that it's like an old tradition that we still keep today, that it used to be that dishes were made and used for idol worshiping and therefore you immerse them to, you know, clean them. So it's obviously a symbolic thing, it's a spiritual thing that we still keep today, even though you know it's made in a factory. Nobody intended it for idol worshiping, but it's just before usage. You immerse it. That's also a reason why some people will not do that today, just because they look into the reasoning and they're like there's no need to do this today, but it's still, you know, custom and very common to do that, and often, if you buy a dish in a Jewish store, it has already been immersed, so you don't have to do it yourself.
Nicole Kelly:I did not know that.
Netta Asner-Minster:Interesting. Yeah, so it'll say it on the label that's already been toveled. That's the Hebrew word with the American accent added to it. So we have dishes and then we just have an agreement regarding how do we use the appliances in the house. So my mother-in-law actually kashers the oven before we arrive and they don't use the oven throughout our time there. And if they do use it, then they'll make something that's kosher. So you know whether it's a vegetable or you know, whatever you're cooking it's kosher and they can eat it, obviously, but they just have to use our dishes and the food itself is kosher and we divide the burners. So we have two burners that are ours and two burners that are theirs, and then the microwave we double wrap. So the microwave is theirs and we just like double wrap with plastic, and then you can use it and heat it, which is, by the way, that's why plain food is wrapped a million times, because they're using the same heating space that also the non-kosher food is in, but they just wrap it a bunch of times. In that way it's insulated and quote-unquote protected, so it won't.
Netta Asner-Minster:You know, it's still kosher and, in addition, you know we ship. This is a big thing that we have to ship kosher meat and hard cheeses. I saw that, yeah, so there's no place to buy like meat, chicken, fish, I'll add. If there is a Trader Joe's near where you live, you most likely have kosher meat, chicken and fish in the Trader Joe's. We don't have that in Traverse City so we have to, you know, order that in advance and but otherwise, like in the big store Meijer, they have Ketam grape juice and they have a bunch of Israeli items. They even have Bamba there. You know, I don't know why they have it. There's not that many people who are interested, but they do have it and that's been always very, very helpful for us. And most items in america, thank god, are kosher. So it's not like many countries in europe that you really are limited with the food itself that you can buy yeah, traveling while you keep kosher I.
Nicole Kelly:There's a lot of tips and things that I've seen. I can't imagine how difficult that must be in certain countries, like I can't imagine trying to go to Italy and keep kosher.
Netta Asner-Minster:Oh, I mean from the point of view that you're missing out maybe, well, not missing out, just like where would you eat?
Nicole Kelly:and like the logistics of that, though like a place like traveling to New York. There's like a lot of kosher restaurants. Right, right, so it's not difficult, but if you're going, you know a little bit of a challenge.
Netta Asner-Minster:I mean, yeah, if you're cooking from a house you also take into account that you have to take time to kosher. So that means the first 24 hours you're not able to touch the appliances. You have to clean them first and wait, and only then you can kosher. So it is a process, but I'm saying laws respect it and they are aware about it, and then that way, um, you know they are, they basically prepare for us as well it's a lot of planning I feel like all that planning on top of two children like a lot.
Nicole Kelly:So let's kind of jump into your social media presence. What inspired you to start your instagram page and use it as a way to educate people about Judaism?
Netta Asner-Minster:So basically my Instagram page was a COVID project. Some people did sourdough, some people did challah I did challah as well, but basically my Instagram page was a COVID project and originally I wanted to share about exactly what I spoke about in the previous question, which was, you know, the unique situations and things we run into being that John converted to Judaism and with my in-laws and not being Jewish, but that we're very, very close to them and that they're completely a part of our lives and we love them very much and we're doing our best to, you know, live, like to, to make, to do visits and actually, you know, spend time together properly, um, so that was the original idea of it and then it became, uh, just Jewish education in general, and that also, it was my platform and not with John, because, um, he was not interested in social media whatsoever. He does things with me and he allows me to film him, which I very much appreciate, but he's not actively doing it. It was only a year later that somebody reached out to me who is still my student today. She actually made aliyah since I started teaching her. She reached out to me to actually learn Hebrew and I was wait, people want to learn with me and you know I can actually maybe make, make a little bit of money off of this too that I'm, I'm, I'm, have students and whatever.
Netta Asner-Minster:So I, when I had my, my first daughter she was two and a half now I had three students and now I, you know, I gave birth again, you know, about four and a half months ago. So I have about, you know, 12 regular students and since then I've had people who start, finish, I've had multiple consultations, spoke to over 120 people who have had done consultations for. So it really has become, you know, a whole little side business and side gig that. But I didn't imagine that it would be that. I thought it would be just like me sharing about my life and maybe, you know, I would get a product here and there or I would sponsor somebody, whatnot I don't know. But it became, you know, an opportunity to really touch people's lives personally in a beautiful way that I never thought that I would be able to do when I started it out.
Nicole Kelly:What I like about your page is that there's a variety of different questions answered. Like you talked about circumcising children if they pass away before their breasts. You talk about, you know, shipping meat to Michigan. It's not just. This is my life, and here I'm wearing, this is my dress and a lot of observant Jewish influencers. I feel like it's a lot of that.
Speaker 3:And I like the area.
Nicole Kelly:I think we know who I'm talking about. I think I actually thought of a few people, so my husband's giving me a face, but I, but I you know, and that you do come with a Jewish education background. You have your master's, correct?
Netta Asner-Minster:you finished a little bit ago yeah, it's actually, it's not funny, it's it's whatever. But, um, I finished right before sukkot that was my that's when I handed in my last project, simchat. Torah of last year was when the war started. So I was like, wow, I finished this degree in time, literally because because if I, I wouldn't be able to, first of all would have been delayed and also I wouldn't have been able to to like be in the mindset of doing that yeah, of course.
Netta Asner-Minster:So that's when I finished my master's in Jewish education.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, Congratulations on that I'm hoping to embark on that journey next year. I'm applying to grad school this month.
Netta Asner-Minster:So for what though?
Nicole Kelly:For I always laugh. I'm going to spend the rest of my life laughing For Holocaust and genocide studies. I think it's very important.
Netta Asner-Minster:I think it's incredibly important and you know people who go on those trips. They talk about how extremely meaningful it is to actually see it and walk in these places, et cetera. So learning about it and sharing it is incredible.
Nicole Kelly:It was also really surprising because there's something like my husband said to me I'll never forget Like we went to Auschwitz and we had a private tour guide. And you know we're walking Poland I don't know if you've been to Poland, poland is very beautiful. So I you know we're in the middle of this, like we're in Auschwitz, but it's in the middle of this beautiful forest. And my husband's like I finally understand, having come from these ghettos where people are starving and they haven't bathed, and they're in this beautiful forest and they're telling them that they're going to shower and that everything's going to be OK. He's like I understand why they would have believed this. Yeah, so like there's a lot of things that I think we have questions about in regard to the Holocaust and the camps. That being there answers a lot of those questions, because you can study this, you can watch all the documentaries. But like having being able to say, like I was there, I saw that I think it's so meaningful and I am.
Nicole Kelly:I tell all my guests on my regular visit like go to Poland. First of all, it's very cheap. There's a lot of history. If you're interested in the World War II and you know I don is like the numbers are so minuscule compared to other. I guess, like I hate using the word attraction for a concentration camp, but like a site, a historical site, yeah, so that's what I'm trying to do, but, um, good luck. Hopefully, hopefully, make that work anyways. So, going back to social media, yeah, um, a lot of influencers have talked about how they deal with anti-Semitism on a regular basis, and even I I don't. I have like less than 500 followers I. This is why I'm not on TikTok, because I feel like I posted a TikTok video and got deluged with a bunch of hatred, so I was like we're not going to do that. How do you deal with that?
Netta Asner-Minster:So, first of all, I'm very blessed that I don't get it constantly compared to other people. But once a post becomes, you know, relatively viral, that it's reaching, you know, over I don't know, let's say, 20,000 views, because it happens whatever with posts. So I will not look at the comments anymore, I just don't. I have a post that that recently went like very viral, like over three million people, and oh, wow and literally I saw today a comment saying these.
Netta Asner-Minster:The comments here are absolutely disgusting. It was about it was about my mother mixing a spoon and in like a non-kosher pot, and like I wrote in the caption that we ate the pasta in the end and whatever. But people were talking about like genocide, bombing children, you know, completely unrelated to anything in the context of the post. And again, like somebody wrote literally today that it's very obvious that the people who have been commenting are the problem and not me, because I didn't even mention, you know, anything of the sort in my video.
Nicole Kelly:So, yeah, they make those connections. I was, I was started a a series of videos I want to continue about pogroms going like way, way, way back and they started talking about Gaza and I'm like this is not at all relevant to this and I feel like that's why, when people say it's not about anti-Semitism, I think they're lying, because they always find a way to come back to it, even when you're talking about spaghetti. Like it's crazy to me.
Netta Asner-Minster:It's just the fact that I'm Jewish and it's completely unrelated and so I just want to ignore it because I know that's going to happen. It's going to like fill my page but at the same time, sorry to it's engagement. So it keeps pushing the video and it will also reach good, good people who will comment, like the comment I saw today, but also reach additional people who might follow me because they're interested in my content. So I leave it and also I do want people to see the horrible comments you know, like. This is what this is reality, this is what's happening, uh, and also I do report and block people if they're actually following me, which happens sometimes.
Netta Asner-Minster:Uh, and I also really focus on the positive that I'm very blessed with people who you know are interested in judaism and are passionate and want to share their support and respect and everything, and and they people do write to me and reach out. So the fact that I have this like little niche of being the conversion consultant I am blessed to hear people's stories you know, about how they are wearing a Star of David for the first time, or how they went to the synagogue for the first time, how they have questions about observing this or that and the other and they want to reach out to me just because that's how I am on the platform and I think that is something actually very beautiful. That's happened as a result from October 7th and I'm really honored that people will share and also take it upon themselves to do all these various things. So I feel like I accentuate the positive in order to help me also with dealing with all the anti-Semitism.
Nicole Kelly:What is your favorite part about helping people explore their Judaism, If through conversion, through people who are Jewish who want to become more observant, what is your favorite part about that?
Netta Asner-Minster:I mean, what I like the most is the consultation conversations I have with people about learning a person's background, about why they even got interested in Judaism in the first place, and recommending them like on their first journey or like the first steps for their journey, and kind of, like you know, sending them off, because in Judaism we don't proselytize. So I never convince somebody what they should do. I just say these are the options. I mean, I think like I'll say sometimes. Sometimes people ask me they say what do you think makes the most sense? I said I can like it depends what you want. If you want this, then that makes the most sense, whatever. If you want this, then that makes the most sense, whatever.
Netta Asner-Minster:But it's, it's. It's sending them off on their journey for the various options and then you know, half a year, eight months, nine months later, getting an email that they either you know that they started conversion or that they finished their conversion, all of those things. So it's it's being a part of people's journeys that is so powerful and meaningful. And just that first conversation where I send people off on their journey and just like I don't know what's going to happen, like how are they going to take this what are they going to do Is like that's something that I really enjoy and like guiding people on their Jewish journey.
Nicole Kelly:What would be your advice to someone who's interested in becoming more observant? The first steps you know. So they're already Jewish, they're interested, you know. Maybe they heard something on the podcast or something on your video and they're interested in exploring becoming more observant. What would those first steps look like for them?
Netta Asner-Minster:So it's very hard for me to answer that generally, because it really depends on the person and who they are, where they're living, what their situation is, and there's so many factors to take into consideration, like you have kids or not, are you married or not, who are you married to? Where do you live? Do you live in the middle of nowhere or is there a synagogue nearby? All of these things really really do matter. You know somebody who was observing whatever they were living. They're living with their parents, who aren't Jewish, so that obviously also makes it more difficult compared to somebody who is living on their own. Okay, so I would say talk to me, because I think that each person's story is different.
Netta Asner-Minster:At the same time, what I would recommend is find the local synagogue and reach out to a rabbi, because through that you will also connect to a community, to services, to a class, and it just gives you a connection to additional people. And I do always recommend the book To Be a Jew by Rabbi Chaim Donin. And I do always recommend the book To Be a Jew by Rabbi Chaim Donin and it is Orthodox. But I also have spoken to a wide variety of people who don't always do Orthodoxy, of course, but all have told me that it's very helpful to just getting the full picture of what Judaism entails. And then they can also say you know what this isn't for me, or I don't connect to this as much, and it just gives that you know wide picture and just information so that from there they can explore further of what actually fits them. So that would be the two things I guess I would recommend, or three things Like so, talking to me, finding the synagogue and reaching out to a rabbi, which I know sometimes can be very difficult for people, it's like, wait, I just emailed the rabbi.
Netta Asner-Minster:It's like, yes, you just emailed the rabbi. Then you email them again and then you call, and then you also might call their secretary as well, because the rabbis don't always answer and it's not you, it's them, and so that's like that's. Another recommendation is don't be afraid to send that additional email or call and and start reading so, yeah, so as I mentioned, you are my first guest who lives in Israel and I want to talk for a second.
Nicole Kelly:I know you're a little crunched for time. What, what has changed in your life personally since October 7th? I know I don't, you know we don't have to make a statement about the Jewish people or Israel in general, but what has changed for you personally since October 7th?
Netta Asner-Minster:So I think that I am more cautious and nervous. You know, walking around I'm very proud and, like John, will always wear a kippah no matter where we are in the world. But I am more nervous, especially with having two kids now, and also say personally that my brother-in-law got badly injured as a soldier an IDF soldier in the war. He had to go through a double lung transplant as a 23 year old and his life is not going to be forever different. Thank God he's on the mend.
Netta Asner-Minster:We spent about with him two weeks ago and he is completely himself. It's just everything that's like physical, that he has to gain weight, has to strengthen, et cetera. But you know, it's just that's like changed our lives forever. You know, for three months he was unconscious and he was sedated and it was praying every day with my sister who had to spend her first year anniversary of marriage when he was unconscious, you know.
Netta Asner-Minster:So that really like changed my life and I'm never going to look at the world or take anything for granted in the same way that I had maybe beforehand. And also I think it's just being very grateful for the idea for our nation, for the people, for our safety and for our home because, unfortunately, a lot of people you know we have 115 hostages in Gaza right now and you know we pray for their safety and we hope that they'll be released soon, but that unfortunately, we cannot take everything we have for granted anymore, which is a sad thing to say and it just makes me even more have motivation to be Jewish and proud and protect ourselves, protect our family, protect our home and do whatever we need to do.
Nicole Kelly:Okay, well, I'm glad that your brother-in-law is better. I saw posts about that.
Netta Asner-Minster:Thank you.
Nicole Kelly:I can't imagine having gone through that, as you know, his wife or sister-in-law, you know. And what's interesting speaking about the hostages is I feel like my neighborhood is very Jewish, so there are posters everywhere and I feel like, even though I'm not in Israel, where it's very obvious and they're all over, I feel like I know these people and, you know, I'm explaining to people who don't live in my neighborhood that this has become such a part of my life, even though I've never even been to Israel and I don't know these people. I feel like I know.
Netta Asner-Minster:You have to come.
Nicole Kelly:I know. Well, the problem is is like back in the day. Back in the day I was an actor and I wanted to do birthright but I kept booking shows and then I got married and we moved and we had no money. But, yes, the the when things calm down a little bit. We have a good family friend who lives in Jerusalem with her five kids and a husband. They have like an in-law suite in the back, so I might utilize that at some point.
Nicole Kelly:Sweet in the back, so I might, oh great, utilize that at some point. Yeah, but yes, the idea is, and I guarantee if I get into this graduate program I'm gonna have to come to yad vashem and, uh, do some research.
Netta Asner-Minster:So okay, so it's a good excuse to come. Let me know I will.
Nicole Kelly:We'll have to get together yes, um, so we're gonna wrap up, so I do these questions with all of my guests. Um, they are short form questions, like in the actor's studio, which I don't know. If you know what that is, but it was this television show where this guy named James Lipton would interview famous actors and every episode he'd ask the same questions.
Netta Asner-Minster:Oh, okay.
Nicole Kelly:But these are my Jewish versions of the questions.
Netta Asner-Minster:Cool.
Nicole Kelly:So these don't need to be long answers. So what is your favorite Yiddish word? Shmutz, it's a good one.
Netta Asner-Minster:What is your?
Nicole Kelly:favorite Jewish holiday. What profession other than your own would you want to attempt?
Netta Asner-Minster:Um, I think, being a reporter.
Nicole Kelly:Hmm, yeah, all right, if heaven is real and God is there to welcome you, what would you like to hear him say?
Netta Asner-Minster:Like good job, you know. Thank you for making the world a better place. Yeah, I hope that's what I would like to hear him say yes, yes, yes.
Nicole Kelly:Is there anything else we didn't cover that you want to talk about, or something you want to plug?
Netta Asner-Minster:So, yes, I do have feel free to follow me on Instagram. Uh, I also have a. Um, I have an ebook, romance Pure Jewish Journey, which is on a website called Payhip, so you can find me next to Jewish educator. Um, and I, yeah, and I also teach and, uh, you're welcome to. You know, reach out to me through Instagram as well about learning Hebrew If you want to learn about family purity, anything Jewish related.
Nicole Kelly:Great. Well, thank you so much for joining me. This is Nicole Kelly and this has been Shibru in the City. Thank, you.
Speaker 3:Love from the soul is the answer that will give you glory. Love from the soul is the answer that will give you glory. Love from the soul is the answer that will give you glory. Love from the soul is the answer that will give you glory. Ahaba me'al shama'ah M'yal shubah she'katita ge'ula, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Speaker 3:So come on, take the dive. Just open up your heart, find that little spark. Brother, sister, my fellow Jew, there's a love, a godly light Shining inside you. Yet, hine, hine, matto, uma, uma naim Shevet, achim, achim, ashiru b'yachah here, here's the good, or what, or what's nice. Sit, brothers and sisters, so sing together. Love from the soul is the answer. It's not a lie. Love from the soul is the answer. It's not a lie.
