Shebrew in the City
Shebrew in the City is a podcast exploring all things Jewish. Combining interviews and informational episodes, join Nicole Kelly as she discusses her journey with motherhood, spirituality, and everything from Hanukkah to the Holocaust. Giving a voice to modern Jews and spreading love and joy, whether you're Jewish, Jew-ish, or not anything resembling Jewish at all, there's something here for everyone.
Shebrew in the City
"Shake It Off" - An Interview with Elaine Chaya
What happens when you transition from a traditional upbringing to becoming a trailblazer in the world of fashion and social media? In this episode, we sit down with Elaine Chaya, an influential fashionista from Los Angeles, to uncover her remarkable journey. Elaine opens up about her roots in a tight-knit Iranian Jewish community, her shift from conventional career paths to the glamorous realm of fashion blogging, and the pivotal moments that shaped her path. From her early career in PR and event management to her rise as a social media icon, Elaine’s story is a testament to the power of following one's passion despite societal expectations.
As we navigate the evolving landscape of social media, Elaine shares her insights on the growing prominence of video content, spurred by platforms like Instagram and TikTok. She emphasizes the significance of authenticity, taking us behind the scenes of movements like "#wokeupthisway," which aim to counteract the pressure of curated perfection. We dive deep into the mental health implications of social media, the benefits of vulnerability, and how genuine connections can be a game-changer for anyone looking to grow their online presence.
But this episode isn’t just about fashion and social media. We broaden our scope to explore the rich tapestry of Iranian Jewish traditions and the challenges faced by the community, from the Iranian Revolution of 1979 to modern-day anti-Semitism. Elaine speaks candidly about the emotional toll recent events have taken on Jewish individuals and the importance of unity and support. Join us for a profound conversation that blends cultural heritage, personal resilience, and practical advice for navigating life’s complexities with grace and authenticity.
Follow Elaine Chaya:
www.elainechaya.com
instagram - @elainechaya
visiting a city for the first time and not sure what to do. A walking tour is a great place to start. Top dog tours is in Boston, T oronto, P philadelphia and N new Y york C city. To book a walking tour, you can visit us at topdogtours. com and be sure to check out our social media accounts for offers and discounts discounts. Hi, I'm Nicole Kelly and Shebrew in the City and today I am talking with Elaine Chaya, instagram influencer, fashionista and Jewish woman extraordinaire. How are you doing today, E elaine?
Elaine Chaya:I'm good. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to chat.
Nicole Kelly:I'm very excited to talk to you because I love your video content and I think you have a lot of really fun content, but also a lot of really important things to say as well, and we're going to kind of dive into that. So I usually like to start off by asking where people are from. I know you're from Los Angeles, like I am, but a different part of Los Angeles I'm from the San Fernando Valley. What kind of Jewish community, if any, did you grow up with in Los Angeles?
Elaine Chaya:Yeah, so born and raised in Los Angeles and my parents moved from Iran when they were teenagers here and so a lot of Iranians moved from Iran to LA. So we have a really strong Iranian Jewish community. So I grew up with a really big community. First of all, all my family from Iran moved here, so we have big families here in the Iranian community and then just, yeah, like we have such a tight knit group of people who came from Iran to here. So that was kind of my community growing up.
Nicole Kelly:Did you what? Did you grow up going to a synagogue? If so, what? What kind of denomination was it?
Elaine Chaya:Yeah, so I went to a bunch of different synagogues I leaned towards like conservative, traditional, so kind of synagogues that really related to that.
Nicole Kelly:Did you have a bat mitzvah?
Elaine Chaya:Of course I had a banal mitzvah actually because my sister and I are a year apart, so that means we had it together.
Nicole Kelly:Yes, what was the theme of the banal Mitzvah?
Elaine Chaya:I'm so upset because we didn't have the theme was nice flowers, which is what the Imani people said yeah, so there wasn't actually a theme.
Nicole Kelly:We'll get into a little question a little bit later about what you'd pick today. So kind of jumping into your career and you know what you're really known for. You started your career as a professional fashion and lifestyle influencer. Can you kind of walk us through the journey of how that started?
Elaine Chaya:a lawyer, and so when I went into college, I studied both. I did the pre-med route for three years and I realized that wasn't for me, even though I knew it wasn't for me to begin with. And then I did the LSAT to go to law school and I knew that wasn't for me either, and my passion was really in the entertainment world. I knew I loved celebrities, but I didn't know what that meant as a profession, and so I knew I loved doing events and stuff like that. So I started in the event world and worked at a really big PR company for some of the biggest brands and doing celebrity events. And then social media started and we started reaching out to people who had like 2,000 followers to promote our products. And I'm like wait, I could do this and I could do it better.
Elaine Chaya:And people would constantly tell me to start a fashion blog because they're like you dress so interesting and things that people typically wouldn't wear. You should take a photo of just your outfit every day and post it on the blog. And so I started to do that. But my whole point of being a fashion blogger was more so showing that I'm this Iranian, jewish girl who's supposed to be a doctor or lawyer. I didn't do either of those. So through my fashion and wearing these crazy outfits, I want you guys to embrace yourselves, and whatever that means. Wear a crazy top you wouldn't wear, or do a job you are scared to do, or take a leap in something.
Nicole Kelly:So definitely encouraging people to kind of embrace their individuality instead of falling into the specific, like tropes, of what was expected of them. I love that. I feel like it's just in general. You know, there's a lot of cultures where it's like doctor, lawyer, that's kind of the only option and I love that you kind of, you know, embraced what you were really passionate about. When you say you were really interested in celebrities, did you read a lot of like magazines and or watch, like you know, e-news and things like that?
Elaine Chaya:All of the things Perez Hilton was my number one website and just Jerry, which are like I was like an encyclopedia that I could tell everyone what every celebrity was up to every day. I had my favorites like. Lady Gaga was like my idol, so I would like I felt like I was her, like unpaid publicist. I would talk about what she was up to every day like it was my job.
Nicole Kelly:How, how often would you work on this blog? Is it something that you would literally just take a picture every day and then write something? Is it something that you made more weekly in the beginning?
Elaine Chaya:Oh, I was. When I start anything, I take it very seriously. So I committed to this 200% and I was at my job still at the time, so I had a full time job, but I acted like this was a full time job too. So I would post Monday through Sunday, or maybe Monday through Friday, every day and I would have my parents, who were so kind to be my photographers which no one knew about at the time and they would take these photos that we would drive around LA and take photos and I would take like seven different photos on Saturdays and Sundays and then post them throughout the week and write blog posts.
Nicole Kelly:When did you finally make the kind of leap from blog posting to social media? I know that Instagram has been around for more than a decade, but only over the last couple of years has it really become, you know, a place where people can not only, you know be literal influencers and make a living, but it's just kind of much more mainstream. When did you make the jump from more blogging to more social media?
Elaine Chaya:Yeah, so I've been doing this for 11 years. So I kind of started maybe like a year after Instagram started. So I was like in the wave of the first bloggers who were figuring out what was happening. So from the beginning I created blog posts and I would promote them on my Instagram, so that was always like paired together.
Elaine Chaya:I feel like the shit, like I have a website and a blog, still I do not update it, and I think the shift happened maybe like four or five years ago, when I realized that people were more into like Instagram instead of going on a website.
Nicole Kelly:So in regards to to something that I think I was, I kind of understand now what people are curious about. I see a lot of on Instagram profiles. People will talk a little bit about themselves and then let's say, for collabs, you can message here or email here. Can you tell people listening exactly what that means, why that's important to collaborate for influencers?
Elaine Chaya:Yeah. So I think there's two things. When people say collab with me in their profile, that means if you're a brand and you want to reach out to them, here's my email address and you can email me and discuss a partnership, which is what I would have on my profile. So people have a way outside of DMing you to like contact you.
Elaine Chaya:But, on the other hand, collaborations, which is a new tool that Instagram has created in the past year, is that when you post a video on your page, it also goes on another person's page.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, I've noticed that.
Elaine Chaya:Yeah, so it's a really good way to get your own page promoted through other people too. So when I first started blogging, I made a bunch of blogger friends and the whole point was for us to take photos with each other and mention each other in the captions so people following their account could be like, oh, who's Elaine Kaya? Tap, wait, I want to follow her. But now, instead of doing all of that stuff and writing in the caption, and they made it so easy where you can have the same post on each person's page and so both of your followers will one be engaging with the same content, which helps, like the algorithm show your posts more, but also like people can see both of your posts and your profiles at the same time.
Nicole Kelly:So Instagram has made it substantially easier to, you know, collaborate with other pages. So, yeah, that's great. I love that they're kind of encouraging people who are using their platform and making it a little bit easier for them. Can you kind of walk me through what a day looks like for you, because you said you do this 200%, so I'm assuming this is like a really full time thing for you. Can you kind of walk me through what a typical day, or even a typical week, looks like for you?
Elaine Chaya:Yeah, it's so funny. I've gotten that question so many times and I wish I had like a solid answer. It's so different every day, but generally speaking, like I'm always thinking about what content am I creating, I try to post one thing a day, or maybe one thing every other day, depending on how much sanity I have to do it at this point yeah, it's a lot of work.
Elaine Chaya:It's a lot of work that people don't understand and so, like I'm already thinking about January's posts, like what is my content calendar, as I call it for January, and coming up with ideas. So if I want to collaborate with someone, I can reach out to them now, or if I need to shoot something and I need to get some products or whatever, I can have those ahead of time and kind of brainstorming around that. So there's a lot of brainstorming that happens, a lot of shooting and editing that happens and emailing people, trying to get connected to people and especially before the pandemic, I was going to events like four times a day, like breakfast, lunch and dinner I'd be some other event because I would get invited to so many and kind of just networking and meeting people.
Nicole Kelly:That's something that is. It is a lot of work, um, which kind of leads me to my uh. Next question. For someone like me who's just starting to experiment with posting video content as opposed to just pictures, which I have traditionally done, I've started making videos. What is your advice for that? Is there a specific program you use? Is there like a tutorial people need to look into, because video editing is very complicated and I have trouble turning on my computer sometimes. That's not a joke. So, for someone who may be not as familiar or comfortable with video editing, what would be your advice to them?
Elaine Chaya:Oh my gosh, they have made the easiest app. It's called CapCut C-A-P-C-U-T.
Nicole Kelly:I'm going to write that down.
Elaine Chaya:Write it down it has saved many people's lives, including mine and basically, like if you're recording a video on your phone or even, let's say, you turn this video we're doing into a post, you can import it into this app called CapCut. That's free and you can lighten and saturate and kind of change all that setting features for the video itself. But you can add captions to it, like when you see all those videos that have just like automatic captions and people have different fonts and colors and whatever it's done, probably through CapCut, and that always really helps people engage with your video. More you could do titles, you could do overlay, meaning like if you're talking about Lady Gaga, for example, put a photo of her in the video as you're talking about her.
Nicole Kelly:I've always wondered how people do that. I look at these things and the people do, and I'm just like I want to know how to do that. So now you've given me the secret sauce. I'm so happy. I'm going to try to make some fancy videos.
Elaine Chaya:And you can also add music in the background. There's so much you could do if you just play around with it.
Nicole Kelly:Why do you think that people have really been pushing video content as opposed to pictures? Because I know, you know, even with influencers, when Instagram first started, it was like posting pictures and then it became kind of the carousel of pictures and picking those perfect pictures. Why do you think that people are really pushing video content? Is that something that you think followers are just digesting at a faster pace Because people are just in such a hurry and they don't have, you know, a big attention span? Or is it just because people are doing fancy things with videos that have like more of a high production quality?
Elaine Chaya:I feel like there's multiple things to it. One I think that the video on Instagram got created like in the way that it is, as Reels once TikTok started. So Instagram became a competitor to TikTok and since TikTok has been so successful.
Elaine Chaya:I think they've seen that this is something they can incorporate and I think, because everyone's so obsessed with tick tock, I think they appreciate videos more now, like that. But also people have become so creative with their videos, doing these like cool outfit changes or like productions, that you were saying that they're really engaging to watch more than a photo. And then, for the third thing, I think that people want more realness in their quality of content, and not necessarily videos mean more real, but sometimes they do. Like I do a lot of talking videos and I feel like that shows my personality and who I am more than a photo. So I think it's like a combination of things, but I know people love a good photo here and then there too.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, I like a good photo, but I also like videos. So, speaking of you know, bringing realness to social media in 2018, you started a viral Instagram campaign called hashtag woke up this way and it asked people to bring realness back to social media. Can you explain a little bit about you know, how this started and why being real on social media is so important?
Elaine Chaya:Yeah, so I was doing like the influencing thing for maybe four years at that point and I could just tell from like me living and breathing this platform and knowing my like personal struggles and stuff that I was going through and not seeing that, you know, illustrated on social media. I was like how, not seeing that you know illustrated on social media? I was like how many other people feel the same way as I do? There must be more people than me and I know that when I would talk to my blogger friends, I knew they were going through things that they wouldn't show on their Instagram. So I was like I want to have a conversation about this and so I started really in the fashion world and this became my shift of really focusing a lot more on mental health, because I think that I was super passionate about it.
Elaine Chaya:So I started this challenge. I asked 300 people friends, publicists, instagrammers, my family, whoever to post a photo without their hair and makeup, done on a certain day and posted at a certain time, and we said bringing realness back to social media, and people wrote their own captions based off of that concept and it became really viral. You had to tag three people to take it next, and I think that people really wanted to do this challenge because at that time especially, there was no conversation about like Instagram is not real life and this was the opportunity people had to say it. But like, do it in a trendy way.
Nicole Kelly:I really like that you said that Instagram is not real life, because I know that when, especially when I was a new mother, I had been following a lot of like mommy bloggers or people who were had these what almost looked like idyllic pregnancies and I felt like I looked like a baboon half the time because I was like so hot so I'd be sitting with a sports bra on my couch and I felt disgusting. And there are these beautiful women posting these pictures and they're like glowing. So I feel like talking about how Instagram is not necessarily real life, especially because of photo editing and you know, stage things like that. It's so important, especially for you know, now that I have a child we talk about when she wants to have her own social media, what you know, what she sees and how that affects her. I think it's absolutely relevant and important to talk about how, you know, people's mental health can be affected by this.
Elaine Chaya:Yeah, a hundred percent. I'm really passionate about especially kids and teens and social media, because I think they don't know anything other than that and that really concerns me the most.
Nicole Kelly:Is there a healthy place where teens, especially teen girls, can be exposed to social media but not have it affect them? Growing up in the 90s and 2000s, it was a lot of magazines and comparing yourself to fashion models. But now it's not just you know, you're comparing your body, it's also comparing your lifestyle and your socioeconomic status as well.
Elaine Chaya:Yeah, and it's funny, I'm not a teenager and I still struggle with comparing myself to other people. I've thought about this a lot of like God willing, when I have kids, I'm like I don't think that I would want them to be on social media ironically for someone who's on social media. Yeah until they're like 18. Because I know I was like at the brink of graduating from high school, entering college, when Facebook even started in my space and stuff like that and like I feel like a different time, like, I think, your teenage years.
Elaine Chaya:You're really formulating who you are as a person and you're growing into your looks and all this stuff. And seeing other people all the time who are maybe ahead of you in whatever category is like I feel like it's it can take a toll. So yeah, I think like when people get into college, but I don't know, it's really hard in these days and age people have a cell phone when they're like four years old.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, it's kind of crazy. My husband, who's like we don't want our daughter to be on social media as long as possible, because, you know, first of all, it's super addicting. An adult, I know I'm super addicted to checking Instagram, especially now with everything that's going on. I'm using it also like as a source of news as well, so it can be not only addicting but it's also really hard. It's hard to not come, you know, even as a woman who's almost 40, to not compare yourself or your life to other people. Which leads me to my next question how a lot of people are not, you know, the really themselves are even portraying an accurate version of themselves on social media. Why do you think that a lot of people find that really hard? And some people, like yourself, are very honest about this is me, who I am, this is what I'm feeling. Why do you think that there's kind of these two polarized, you know versions of influencers?
Elaine Chaya:I think it's so much easier to be fluffy and not talk about real life stuff than talk about it. I mean, when I first made the shift of talking more about like real things, that was so hard for me. I went through a mental breakdown. The first time I posted anything remotely mentioning maybe I wasn't happy for a minute of my life, you know. And I still get a lot of pushback about doing it from people close to me who are like stop talking about how you're actually feeling.
Elaine Chaya:This isn't good for you, you know, like in the terms of like good PR for you, you know, but I'm like everyone is going through that stuff, and so I think it's easier to just like post something fun and like just show a moment that you were happy, or like act like you were happy, like I don't know. I don't feel like people want to really share what's actually going on, because why would they if they don't need to.
Nicole Kelly:I don't know if that really answers the question.
Nicole Kelly:No, no, no. That makes a lot of sense. I think that you know being vulnerable is difficult, even with people that you're close to. So being vulnerable with you know 78,000 people who you don't know, and some of them are inevitably trolls, and that's really difficult. So that makes a lot of sense. But I think also, you know, I posted a video a couple days ago about something really terrible that happened to me. It can be also a little therapeutic and, you know, helpful to be like this is something that happened and maybe helpful to other people that are going through something similar, and I think that's why it's important to especially talking about not having a perfect life. It's, it's super important.
Elaine Chaya:Yeah, I will just say that every time I've posted something that seems a little like oh, vulnerable for me, I've at least had one person every time being like I needed to hear that and that's why I do it. I do it because I know someone needs to hear it other than me. And I think I also did it because, you know, like going through my phases of figuring out of what I wanted to do with my career, I had no support around that. I didn't know who I was and I felt really alone. And a lot of this is wanting to make sure to heal kind of the inner child in me that felt alone, to make other people not feel alone.
Nicole Kelly:That makes a lot of sense and I love that you're able to be vulnerable and do that. So, let's say, somebody is, you know, whatever kind of category that they're looking to. I mean, maybe they don't even want to be an influencer, they're just looking to kind of grow a following, share their story, maybe. What is your advice on how to do that? I've seen certain things, you know, and I've started doing this friend people who are in the same sphere as you, start communicating with them and commenting, uh, is that really the best way to go about doing that? Or how would you, you know, grow? You know, your group, your tribe on Instagram, so to speak?
Elaine Chaya:I think definitely like talking and connecting with people who are of your same vibes. Like right now I'm, for example, like so focused on Israel and the Jewish community, so I'm like connecting with different kind of people and accounts who, like, are talking about the same stuff, to kind of elevate what I'm talking about even more.
Elaine Chaya:And in terms of your content. I think the most important thing is to figure out who you are and what are you bringing to your page and to your people and who you want to attract, because I think we all get really trapped in seeing like so much of the same stuff or, like you know, like there's so many viral TikTok, sounds and trends and there's like 20 million people doing the same iteration of that you know. So we've become really unoriginal. So what makes you you like? Why are you creating the content that you are? And once you can find that niche and to understand like what you, who you are and what you want to post, I think that'll also attract people to understanding what they're following about you and also make it more clear to you who you should be reaching out with, to maybe connecting with on like other podcast episodes or other content you guys can do together.
Nicole Kelly:Interesting. I think it can be hard to be very specific into what your point of view is, especially, you know, when you're like I'm just, I'm a mom, or I'm Jewish, or I am a chef, and being specific obviously helps. I know the people that I like are very unique, so I guess you know just finding your own voice is a big part of that.
Elaine Chaya:I will add to that, though, as someone who's been doing this 11 years, I've had like 20 million iterations of what my page is and who I am. Even right now I'm figuring out. I'm like, wait, I'm suddenly like a political activist, like this was not me two months ago. So like just post, just post what you're passionate about in that moment, something that lights you up, and keep going, and as you continue to post, you'll be more clear about what the direction is that you're going.
Nicole Kelly:So, transitioning a little bit to what you do post on, a lot has to do with travel. So do you have a favorite place you visited or a trip that you've taken that kind of stands out to you, because even just I was looking in like the past, like year, you've been to a lot of really cool places and posted a lot of interesting content in regard to that.
Elaine Chaya:Yeah, I will say, as of recently, a special travel trip for me was to London. I relocated there for three months, which I've never lived anywhere outside of LA, so that was really special. I fell in love with the city and the people there and it was just such a nice time and I think maybe I loved it so much because I like really went out of my comfort zone to do something I was really uncomfortable with of like moving my life for a few months and I really made the most of that experience.
Nicole Kelly:Why did you end up doing that? What kind of is the spark that made you make the decision to move there for at least a year now?
Elaine Chaya:I've never lived anywhere else and I've always been very regretful about that. Even I didn't study abroad, I didn't dorm when I was in college, and so I'd always be like, oh, I never got to do that in my life. And someone who's in her 30s Now I had, like I've been talking about this for a few years in the pandemic, like why can't I just move somewhere for a few months, like I don't have a commitment right now, and then I was like I'm in my 30s, I keep saying it's never the right time. When will be the right time? Never. And so I'm just going to do it, and I need to. I want to stick to my word and do something that I've always wanted to do, because who knows what the future will hold. And like right now, I know that I can do this.
Nicole Kelly:What part of London were you in?
Elaine Chaya:I was in Golders Green. If you know the area, it's like very Jewish, it's like in the suburbs.
Nicole Kelly:I've been to London a few times, but I've stayed kind of in the central area where all the tourists are, so it's convenient to get places. But London is also one of my favorite places, so I definitely feel like I'd love to do what you did and spend an extended period of time there. A big thing in London is the pub culture. So is there a favorite like hangout that you found that you were like you kept kind of going back to, because the bar culture is very different in England than it is here. I feel like you kind of go to different places consistently, especially in New York. People always like well, we're going here, then we're going to go here and we're going to go here and we'll end the night here. But I know in London you kind of have a place. It's almost like Cheers, that's your place and you go there with your friends. Did you have a place like that?
Elaine Chaya:I didn't have a place like that because I think I was just up to so many different things every day, but I did get to go to a few but it was fascinating because I would walk around during the day. It's like 2 pm and it's packed with people from work at a pub and I'm like what is going on? So like there were a million pubs that and it was cool, it was nice to see. Is and it was cool, it was nice to see.
Nicole Kelly:Is there another city that you'd be interested in moving to, at least for a little while?
Elaine Chaya:You know I thought about New York. New York has been my number one dream in life, and then I altered to London and so I've always had New York as an option. But I was ironically there on October 7. So I had a very last weird moment with New York because it was just not the same as I typically would go and do. But yeah, I've always had like a heart for New York.
Nicole Kelly:What part of the city do you like the best?
Elaine Chaya:You know I've stayed in different places each time. This past time I stayed half of the time at Upper West Side and the other half Upper East Side. It was like around Central Park and I love Central Park. I feel like that vibe is fun for me. But I also went to West Village, which was really cute and, I heard, really fun.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah, no, the West Village is where all the fun bars and restaurants are, but I live in the Upper West Side and we're about a block away from Central Park and especially when the weather is nice, just being able to walk around I would go and take my daughter for like hours during the summer and just kind of wander around, so it is also one of my favorite parts of New York City. So in the past you've done red carpet interviews and event coverage. Is this something that you'd be interested in pursuing on a more full time basis, you know as like an official commentator or somebody who would working for like a television show?
Elaine Chaya:Oh God, you know my calling girl a hundred thousand percent. My dream has always been to be the reporter, uh like, for e-news on all the red carpets for, like, the golden globes and Oscars. Um, I just feel like so passionate about that. I used to watch TRL, if you know the show.
Nicole Kelly:I love TRL. I would come home every day from seventh and eighth grade and watch TRL and I know my husband did the same thing.
Elaine Chaya:Same girl, literally. I think TRL like established my entire personality, because my dream was never to be like Britney Spears, but was to be the VJ. I'm like, I am like this is my calling in life. So, yeah, I also for like red carpets, like when big award shows happen. My friend and I, before she moved back to London which is why I chose London she and I had like a podcast show where we would. It was called fashionably latte, which we were like the millennial fashion police. We would call ourselves where we would be like like making fun of all the people's outfits on the red carpet. So I do that still on Instagram stories when like like shows come about and everyone's like you need to be on camera and doing this. So it's like the Joan.
Nicole Kelly:Rivers of the 21st century kind of doing that sort of thing.
Nicole Kelly:I have a friend who does something similar on Facebook that whenever there's an award show and she'll just post single. It's like she'll post someone's outfit and make a comment as a single post but she'll do it throughout the evening and it just gets like funnier and funnier. And I think that you know fashion is fun and I think that sometimes people taking risks, you know you can be fun about that. So it's not necessarily an attack and I think there's a place for making comments on on fashion and I think that you know it's fun, it's fun. You know it's fun, it's fun. So, kind of pivoting to Judaism, so you mentioned that both your parents fled Iran as teenagers. What part of Iran are from, are they from, and would you share a little bit of their story and how they ended up in the United States?
Elaine Chaya:Yeah, they're both from Tehran. They actually didn't know each other there. They met in LA but my dad left when he was 13 and, ironically, also moved to New York. He lived in Rochester by himself, which is utterly wild to me, like I don't even know how he did that as a 13-year-old. He had to find an apartment, he had to get himself a job and all of this stuff.
Nicole Kelly:What year was this?
Elaine Chaya:This was probably in the 60s or maybe early 70s. It was before the Iranian revolution.
Elaine Chaya:I know that for sure he went because he got, I guess, like some kind of raffle prize to go to America. But I think also, if you live in Iran, uh, you have to go into the army, is what I understood. So I think it was a combo like getting away from going into the army and also he got this like ticket to go to America. So, yeah, that was his journey and then slowly some of his siblings came to New York with him and then they all moved as a family to LA and I think his parents even came after them to LA. And then my mom came during the Iranian Revolution in 1979. She came when she was 18. And she went to UCLA. She came when she was 18 and she went to UCLA and she left her entire stuff and life and everything to come here and her brother, her younger brother, was here and her parents came here afterwards.
Nicole Kelly:So it's wild to me that they as teenagers they had to like literally figure out their entire lives when they didn't know English as well, and make it. I have a very similar story, but with my relatives. They were escaping Eastern Europe and you know the pogroms and the extreme violence that was happening there and I think a lot of people don't realize first of all we'll go into this that Jews come from the Middle East, like Iran, and you know there was a thriving population there and that this is very recent that people have been. I think everyone kind of knows about Jews escaping Eastern Europe, but Jews in other countries have been doing this in the last 50 or so years. That's crazy that your father came when he was 13 years old and basically had to figure out how to support himself. Was he the first member of the family to come over?
Elaine Chaya:He had a sister that had come over as well. He was older, but she had just gotten married, she had a few kids and she was like living her own life, and so it was really them two, but it was really him by himself.
Nicole Kelly:That's insane. I can't imagine, as a 13 year old, first of all making a trip just even for fun like that by myself, let alone, like you know, coming to a country where you don't speak English and you're a literal child. So you said you grew up a lot of around around a lot of other Iranian Jews. Did their families have similar stories that they came around? The same period of time, you know were a lot of your Iranian Jewish friends you know, first generation born Americans.
Elaine Chaya:Yes, 100% to all of that. Funny enough, because my parents are still friends with some of, especially, my mom, with the friends that she had in Iran, and some of them all came together with her and all went to UCLA with her. So all of the kids my age are first born Americans and all of the parents had some similar story, I think most of them other than my dad, who had this unique experience. I think most of them came during the revolution.
Nicole Kelly:Can you tell our listeners a little bit about the revolution? And I actually don't know a lot about it either, so I'm curious to find a little bit more about that.
Elaine Chaya:Yeah, so they had a king called the Shah, which they absolutely loved. He loved the Jews and then he got taken over by I think his name was Humayun and he absolutely hated the Jews and he threatened the Jews and it became suddenly a very dangerous place for Iranian Jews to be, and so they saw the future of that. I think they killed I think my mom was saying they actually killed like one Jew and they're like oh, this, this ain't gonna go well for us.
Nicole Kelly:Yeah.
Elaine Chaya:So people quickly saw that it was not a safe place and that they had to leave. And even before that, when the Shah was in power, the one that they liked, like they were always. I was like well, where is it ever unsafe for you to be an Iranian Jew? And they're like it wasn't unsafe. But they would always remind us that we were the minorities, like we were the minority group.
Nicole Kelly:That's. That's really scary. I can't imagine you know post-Holocaust post, you know all of that living in a place and somebody taking over power who's very outspoken against Jews. I know a lot of Iranian Jews ended up in the United States, but also a lot of them ended up in Israel as well. Correct?
Elaine Chaya:Maybe I'm not sure about where they dispersed. I know a lot of went to LA.
Nicole Kelly:I know people went to New York. People went really everywhere, but I can imagine that they went to, I don't know. I want to say, carried this a little bit of paranoia about being Jewish or did they feel, now that they were in the United States, that it was a safe place to be Jewish?
Elaine Chaya:It's so funny because I actually asked my parents this recently and also through my observation all of these years the Iranian community does not harp on victim mode. They harp on survival mode. They've never heard them complain, be upset and be like this is what my life was like and I had to leave. They all like don't even want to think about Iran, they're like peace out, we don't even care about that place. And they've never been upset. I don't think they ever even were like self conscious about being Jewish. I think they were like oh, this is what's happening. We got to go. But, ironically enough, with everything that's happened in the past two months, I said initially, after October 7th this was the first time in my entire life my dad was like we're taking down the mezuzah, I'm scared. I'm like this is what makes you scared when you literally fled a dangerous country. So they've actually never carried it.
Elaine Chaya:If anything, people have been more established in their Jewish community here. Not all Iranians are super religious and we didn't grow up super religious. I keep Shabbat now, but that wasn't what I did growing up. But Iranian culture, no matter what religious level you're at Shabbat with your family and your cousins on Friday night, is a must, even if you want to go out afterwards. Shabbat, friday nights is a standard thing if you want to go out afterwards, like Shabbat.
Nicole Kelly:Friday nights is like a standard day. Oh, okay, do you do? Iranian Jews celebrate Shabbat the same way as Ashkenazi or Sephardi Jews would?
Elaine Chaya:I think so. I mean we do the same prayers. We like the challah, the candles, all that stuff. I think we have something called gondi, which is like a matzah ball meatball type thing, which is like Friday nights you have some gondi and we call it abgust, which is like a. It's like a saffron, like just like a yellow soup, but it's like made with the gondi and the meat.
Nicole Kelly:So that sounds good. I'll have to figure out how to find that or have someone make that for me, because I'm not a good cook, so I wouldn't trust myself to do that. You say you keep Shabbat. Now what inspired you to start doing that?
Elaine Chaya:Ironically, full circle because of Instagram, but actually, at the same time, when I was like Instagram is not real. I want to talk about mental health, like obviously, that was inspired by my own mental health struggles, of feeling just really overwhelmed with everything going on on social media and what you were saying before, like comparing myself to others and feeling like I'm not doing enough, I'm not being the best enough on here, as, like someone who's creating content all the time, like I become my own worst critic in ways that people are like the things that you see about yourself, like no one else sees, you know, and it was taking a toll and I was like I need to take a break from Instagram. And so I was like, huh, why don't I just like, in the honor of Shabbat, friday nights, like for a few hours, when I'm at dinner, not use my phone, and I'm like I kind of like that. Why don't I start maybe incorporating it on Saturday mornings? And I was like, wait, I kind of like that.
Elaine Chaya:And I kind of progressed and progressed until the pandemic, when I was like on the edge already about like maybe wanting to do it full time. And then I'm like, well, I'm not going anywhere now. So now I don't use the lights, I don't use my phone, I don't get in a car Most of the time. I'll make exceptions a few times, um, if I'm going to Shabbat, if I'm invited somewhere for Shabbat, like I don't want to miss out on an opportunity to be social.
Elaine Chaya:But I only do Shabbat related things do you, uh, keep kosher.
Nicole Kelly:I know you said um, you weren't super religious growing up, do you? But do you keep kosher now?
Elaine Chaya:so we keep as a family and myself I keep kosher in the sense that I don't eat unkosher meat or shellfish or dairy and meat together, but I will go out to like a normal restaurant and eat like pescatarian style that fits with that diet. So more of like a kosher style, eat like pescatarian style, that fits with that diet.
Nicole Kelly:So more of like a kosher style than like keeping like severe kosher Gotcha. So we talked a little bit about a specific food that Iranian Jews eat at Shabbat Are there. You know, different ways that Iranian Jews celebrate holidays or specific traditions that are very specific to Jews from Iran.
Elaine Chaya:Yeah, yeah. So for Passover, when we do the Seder, we have something called Dayenu where we get I think it's called, like leeks I'm not sure what it's actually called, I think it is. It has, like maybe a little bit of a leak at the end. Anyways, you go around and you start hitting everyone with it, like as the slaves would hit, is this?
Nicole Kelly:is this to get your frustration on your jewish relatives out, or how did?
Elaine Chaya:it start yeah that is what it's led to. I'm like who do I hate the most today? Bam, bam, very seriously, I get scared of them, but it started. It's supposed to be like a representation of when the slaves got whipped by the okay that makes sense, I'm gonna start doing that in my house.
Nicole Kelly:I'm just gonna hit everybody and say this is, this is a representation of the of the horrors of the slaves in egypt.
Elaine Chaya:But this is also me getting frustrated you didn't take out the trash, um people come down to dayenu and grab like 25 of the things and and it's really scary. I try to hide sometimes because people get really upset.
Nicole Kelly:I'm obsessed with this. So, other than that, what other things, what other things you know would people find surprising or interesting, like different traditions?
Elaine Chaya:I think I actually learned this recently. I didn't know this was a thing, but when we like say the prayer for challah on Friday nights In the Sephardi tradition, you throw the challah to someone, not like pass it around on a plate, and I think we do Rosh Hashanah. We do Rosh Hashanah, seders. I don't think you guys do.
Nicole Kelly:What do you mean by like seders?
Elaine Chaya:Similarly to how you have a Passover seder, we have a seder for Rosh Hashanah.
Nicole Kelly:Oh really, because my family would always just kind of meet and we'd have whatever you know brisket or chicken or something you know like a traditional, like Ashkenazi meal, and then we'd have apples and honey, but that was basically it. It wasn't like a huge to do.
Elaine Chaya:Interesting. No, yeah, we all sit around the table like how you would at a Seder. There's prayers. You have to say for each thing we have, like zucchini, we say a prayer. Pomegranate apples, honey, like whatever else, we say a prayer. Pomegranate apples, honey, like whatever else. There's a few other things and they all represent something and it's like a full on Seder that's.
Nicole Kelly:I did not know that until today. That's one of the things I'm loving about kind of connecting with people and, you know, especially talking to Jews who come from a different background, because where I'm from in LA it's very Ashkenormative, which is a word I've become obsessed with, so everybody's looks the same, everybody's family's from the same area, and even you know where I live now it's the same kind of thing. Everybody kind of comes from that Eastern European background. So I don't really know even know a lot of, if any, sephardi or Mizrahi Jews. So one thing I'm super interested in is learning about what they do, and we did it. We just recorded a Hanukkah episode last night and, talking about you know even the Shemesh on the Hanukkiah, how people light it differently. So it's very interesting to me how you know we're all Jewish, we all celebrate things like Rosh Hashanah, yom Kippur and Passover, but because of, possibly, the regions we're from and you know what we were experiencing things are different. Um, is there something that you think people would find surprising?
Elaine Chaya:about iranian jews? I don't, I don't know.
Nicole Kelly:I think we're really extra about things sometimes are you familiar with the um the comedian modi on uh instagram? So he, he, his whole thing is. He loves to joke about the difference between safari and ashkenazi jews and how Sephardi Jews are always like extra over the top. They're always celebrating and Ashkenazi Jews are just kind of like it's really funny, you should look it up. He's doing a comedy tour right now, so I definitely get like the extra.
Elaine Chaya:Interesting, I wonder. I feel like just Iranian culture. They're very like show their emotions through, like being extra.
Nicole Kelly:They don't necessarily show their actual emotions but they show like they're just very, they're very hyper and loud.
Elaine Chaya:Yeah, like even at Jewish Iranian weddings it's very well known for the most part People dance down the aisle. It's like a whole freaking concert and party and I think people are just like lively like that. I don't know if it has to do with leaving Iran. I feel like maybe in Iran it was like that similar kind of vibe to maybe with the Iranian music is like that and there's just a lot of like yeah, like people are a lot more out there in that way. I don't know if I have a necessarily good answer for this, but that is kind of what I take from it.
Nicole Kelly:Gotcha. What are some of the things you find challenging being a Jewish person in America who is not from an Ashkenazi background? Because I feel like for me, I'm very Jewish looking and you know how, like the Chabad people, they'll usually approach you and ask if you're Jewish, and then they'll approach. Last week I was in the Lower East Side and he literally just started with Shabbat Shalom and asked if I had candles. He didn't even ask. So, like I am a walking Ashkenazi Jew. It's very obvious, and I feel like I've heard from a lot of other people, whether they don't have traditionally Jewish names or don't look stereotypically Jewish, that they sometimes have to. You know people want to be like well, you don't look Jewish, prove you're Jewish or you know things like that. Is that something that you've encountered? Or even online, you know. You know you say on your Instagram page you're an Iranian Jew and I think there's stupid people who may not think that's really a thing. Is this kind of a challenge that you have encountered?
Elaine Chaya:It's so funny because I did a post about being an Iranian Jew and also not being a white Jew and first of all so many people are like but you look white, and so that was like a whole thing I got. And then someone was like I think you're confused, there are no Jews in Iran, there's no such thing as an Iranian Jew, and I was like I cannot engage with this.
Nicole Kelly:So I think you're, I think you're confused about your own background. Correct, people are really ballsy.
Elaine Chaya:I can't. People are fascinating these days in like the worst way. I think. Growing up though I actually did a post about this the other day I grew up in a very American culture. Like all of my friends were not Iranian, they were just Americans. They weren't necessarily Jewish, and I felt the distinct difference. Like I would bring my Persian food to school for lunch. They eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I did Shabbat, they would go to arcades. Like I distinctly felt the difference of being different.
Elaine Chaya:But, I don't know, I think. But at the same time I was so immersed in an Iranian community that was outside of my school culture that I didn't feel like I was alone ever, because I knew there were so many other people like me. But when you're immersed in, like even in a work environment, like even when I was at a PR company like fancy PR company like I was the only Iranian Jew, there were like barely any Jews and there was definitely no one that was Iranian. So I noticed that difference at times. But I also I think, because we have such a strong community that we got established as I was born, that like I know that I'm not like the only one at the same time, if that makes sense- yeah, is there a lot of pressure within the Iranian Jewish community to marry another Jew of Iranian heritage?
Elaine Chaya:I think, growing up, for sure, I think that's what, like every parent wanted, and I think some families are still very specific about that. I think my parents are, like can you just get married please to anyone? Like at this point we're down, you know, but also like specifically with me. I think my parents understand I'm not the typical Iranian Jew and so maybe that isn't necessarily a match for me, but, of course, like I think, because they left Iran, because a lot of them only speak Iranian, or my parents speak English, but they, you know, feel comfortable speaking in Farsi, that they people prefer that because it feels familiar versus some different culture that's not their own.
Nicole Kelly:No, no, that makes complete sense. I think you know, especially marginalized groups, we tend to cling to each other. You know, I always feel like when I find out someone's Jewish, I'm like, oh, now we have something in common and even within, like the subsections of Judaism. That makes a lot of sense to, or feeling the weight of everything, even if they don't, you know, have any direct ties to Israel. You've been very vocal about this on your social media. Why do you think it is so important to be vocally supportive of Israel and to talk about the hostages and talk about the terrible things that have happened?
Elaine Chaya:Yeah, I just feel like if I don't post about it, of course other people that I know that are Jewish are posting about it, but I have a lot of non-Jewish followers and I have even a best friend that I've had since the eighth grade and she's not Jewish and she's like I literally only follow, like fashion and travel accounts. You're the only Jewish person I follow. I don't know any like. Maybe she knows what's going on in the world, but like she doesn't see these posts unless I'm posting about it.
Elaine Chaya:So I feel like my posts are not for the Jews, because all the Jews are on the same page about what's going on these posts are really yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, not everyone, I can't generalize, but, um, but these are really for my followers and friends who aren't Jewish, as a way of understanding and also hopefully getting this out to people, the haters, which maybe they'll think about it twice, or probably not because they're crazy, but I think it's. I think it's important right now. I can't, like I before that I was posting my travel stuff and a lot about Taylor Swift. I made my job to be about Taylor Swift and I haven't More than, more than Lady Gaga, more than.
Elaine Chaya:Lady Gaga. We moved on from Lady Gaga.
Nicole Kelly:On to Taylor Swift, more than Lady Gaga, more than.
Elaine Chaya:Lady Gaga. We moved on from Lady Gaga On to Taylor Swift, like, yes, so much to say about her, though for another time but I just feel like I can't live life normally right now because of everything that has happened. I'm such an empath, and I think most Jews can't live normally right now, but I would not feel right posting about things that weren't about this, because that's not what I'm passionate about, and I think it also harps on this feeling of like. My whole point is to want to make people not feel alone, and I feel like the Jews feel very alone right now because there's no one else supporting them. So I feel like I need to do my part to make even the Jews that feel alone see my videos and be like okay, she gets it. It helps make me feel better too.
Nicole Kelly:I agree, I think I've kind of I don't know what it's called on Instagram, but I'm only seeing everybody I follow. I'm not getting any suggestions, because the suggestions are coming up. However, inevitably, threads will come up on my Instagram feed and the first one's always like a crazy person and of course, I want to see what they're saying, so I'll click on it and it's not good. It's not good for my mental health, it's not helpful, but seeing all of these people who are feeling very similar to how I feel and talking about what's happening it does make me feel like I have a community outside of my direct people in my everyday life. So it is super important and brave. Which kind of leads me into.
Nicole Kelly:Since October 7th, a lot of Jewish influencers have been dealing with extreme anti Semitism. Is this something you've experienced and how do you handle it when somebody who it says something you know even stupid, like there's no Jews in Iran or something extremely hateful that you know is even calling for the genocide of the Jews, which I have seen online extremely hateful, that you know he's even calling?
Elaine Chaya:for the genocide of the Jews which I have seen online. Yeah, I mean, my favorite comment was someone was like you need an area code for your nose and I was like okay, I like to highlight the stupid comments, I see, because I actually find them funny. Like I can't take it seriously because these people don't know me, people are just hating, to hate right now and you know what. Like it's not okay. But like these people don't know me, I think that some of them make me upset, like someone mocked one of my videos one time, and again that person doesn't know me, but like I'm posting also like vulnerable things about myself.
Elaine Chaya:So, obviously, like I'm human, it might hurt me, but then I made a Taylor Swift shake it off video in response to the haters and being like haters are gonna hate and it was fucking funny, and so I tried to make funny, like, make it funny and like, um, yeah, I've lost like 1000 followers throughout this time, which is wild and bananas to me, and people being like I didn't know you were Jewish and my actual followers being like I'm confused because you have always posted about being Jewish, yeah, so yeah, but you know what? Then I found new people who have followed me and have reached out to me like I've connected with you because of this and all this stuff, and that reminds me of like we don't want those kinds of people even engaging with me anyways, or I don't, I don't care about those, because the people that really matter are the ones that are connecting with me, and this is who I'm doing it for anyways.
Nicole Kelly:I think that's such a healthy and beautiful way to think of this. I take everything, even from people I know in my real life, very personally, so I don't know if I'd be able to be as healthy about, you know, dealing with this. You know, because I see these comments on other people's pages and I feel like it's being directed at me because in a way it is. It is so it's. It's kind of crazy how brave these so-called social justice warriors and trolls get behind a keyboard or a phone and they say things that you would never I mean, hopefully, hopefully never say to a person to their face. But they feel like they've been, you know, they're emboldened in some way. That's crazy. Is there anything that you've been surprised by in your kind of career as an influencer that you know something happened? You're like this is amazing or crazy.
Elaine Chaya:I've had a few really cool things that I've done that I'm very proud about. One of them was the Woke Up this Way challenge that we talked about. I didn't know that it would be as successful as it was, like so many celebrities took part in it, like Cindy Crawford.
Nicole Kelly:And I was oh wow. I feel like I remember this. I mean, I wasn't following you at this time, but I remember seeing a picture of Cindy Crawford without makeup and being like she's still beautiful and it's really cool that she's willing to share that.
Elaine Chaya:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's been, like I created sweaters during the pandemic to raise money for a local food bank, but then all of these celebrities that I gifted it to wore them and those became really successful. I created a few murals that I'm really proud of, like I've done a few really cool things. But I will also say like a few weeks ago I spoke to UC officials about anti-Semitism on campus and I went to UCLA Hillel, which is where I like went to college and even little things like that meant like I.
Elaine Chaya:I put that on the same list as the woke up this way challenge like that is such an honor to me and such a big thing for me. So I've done like a lot of I've done really gone to really cool events. I've met really cool people like I have 11 years worth of stories of crazy stuff I've done. But these little things that like really tie into the message of like not being alone and what I'm passionate about, I think mean the most.
Nicole Kelly:So this next section is there's short form questions in the style of the actor's studio. So what is your favorite? I'll say Yiddish or Hebrew word.
Elaine Chaya:Um. So what is your favorite? I'll say Yiddish or Hebrew word. Um Yiddish, I would say oy, vey, right, Cause it's so funny. Um Hebrew word I actually have it on a bracelet that I'm wearing Um it's emunah, which means faith, and I wear this every day because I think sometimes that we all get lost in having faith that things will work out for us in whatever that is, because we all go through struggles in life, and so I always remind myself about having emunah during those times, because I'm a very big believer in God and have a very close connection to God, and I always remind myself that God has my back, and even if I can't see it now, I will see it later. So I always say emunah.
Nicole Kelly:Do you have a favorite Farsi word? I will see it later.
Elaine Chaya:So I always say Amunah, do you have a favorite Farsi word? Um, I probably have a better one, but like. The one that comes to mind right now is Toro Chora, meaning like, toro Chora. Chora means God, but like probably like to the love of God, but which really means like come on, please. You say Torah Chodah, like come on.
Nicole Kelly:What is your favorite Jewish holiday? Sukkot, wildly Sukkot, I haven't gotten that one yet, but Sukkot's fun. I think it's underrated. Yeah, okay, yeah, if you were to have a bat mitzvah today.
Elaine Chaya:What would the theme be? Taylor Swift the heiress to her. If you were to have a bat mitzvah today, what would the theme be? Taylor Swift?
Nicole Kelly:the heiress dwarf. What profession other than your own?
Elaine Chaya:would you want to attempt? I always wanted to be a teacher. I became one during the pandemic, so that has always been a dream. But I also think something in psychology, like a psychiatrist working with kids, maybe child psychology.
Nicole Kelly:If heaven is real and God is there to welcome you.
Elaine Chaya:What would you like to hear them say? I'm so proud of you. You've done such a good job. Anything you want to plug, I guess my Instagram is my biggest platform right now, where I post really everything, so make sure to find me on Instagram. Elaine Chaya E-L-A-I-N-E-C-H-A-Y-A.
Nicole Kelly:Awesome. Well, thank you so much for joining me. This has been lovely and educational for me as well. So, like she said, follow Elaine on Instagram. She's amazing. Thank you so much for joining me.
Elaine Chaya:Thank you so much for joining me. Thank you so much for having me. This was so fun © transcript Emily Beynon.
