"Getting To Know You!" - An Interview with our Host Nicole Kelly

Our first guest is...ME!!! I sit down with my husband Patrick and we talk about what I want to accomplish with this podcast, a bit about my family background, what it's like to be a millennial Jewish Mom and even what I wore to my Bat Mitzvah! Come and take this journey of revelation and self discovery with me as I look into what exactly it means to be Jewish in this modern crazy world. 

TopDogTours
TopDogTours is your walking tour company. Available in New York, Philly, Boston, & Toronto!

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Transcript

Nicole Kelly
Host
00:00
Visiting a city for the first time and not sure what to do. A walking tour is a great place to start. Top Dog Tours is in Boston, toronto, philadelphia and New York City. To book a walking tour, you can visit us at topdogtourscom and be sure to check out our social media accounts for offers and discounts. Hi, this is Nicole Kelly, with Shibu in the City, and today we are interviewing me to give you all listening a chance to know a little bit about my background and the things that I'm passionate about. Today with me is my husband and producer and sound editor, patrick Kelly, so he's gonna be asking me some questions. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
00:50
Hello, I'm excited to be on this side of the mic. Maybe learn something new after many years, I know I think this is going to be our first episode, but we've been recording a lot of these out of order, so it's kind of fun to turn the tables on you. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:06
Yeah, be the one interviewing. I know I feel weird because I don't have the questions in front of me. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:10
You know, it's kind of funny about doing these questions. I feel like I know you so well, yeah, so I feel like I'm going to be asking a lot of these questions. I semi already know the answer to yeah, so it's weird. But at the same time, maybe I don't know fully the answer, because some of these questions are a little more I don't know. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:30
I think personal to what your faith is and what your beliefs are, and I think there's some things that I do that I don't think you know, so I think you might be surprised. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:41
Maybe, maybe, yeah, so tell me a bit about your Jewish upbringing. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:46
So I feel like this is now a trope that I've heard a lot. I was raised conservative but we weren't religious, which makes absolutely no sense. But I've heard several other people kind of introduce their Judaism that way. So I'm originally from Los Angeles. I'm from the San Fernando Valley, though I've worked very hard not to sound like I'm from the Valley, so you may not sound like I'm actually from the Valley. 

02:06
For those of you that familiar with the area, my parents are very close to C-Sun so we were members of a conservative synagogue that my family had been in some capacity members of since the 1970s so about 20 years or so and my mother was fairly active in my preschool. I attended Jewish preschool. I was basically in some sort of Hebrew school from kindergarten until I was about 15. We didn't keep kosher growing up and my great aunt who I'm sure will come up a lot when we're talking about kind of my family's history was kind of the Jewish matriarch and we spent a lot of holidays at her house. So a lot of my memories attached to Judaism during my childhood are related to her and my great uncle, who unfortunately is passed away. I'm still very close to my great aunt. So, yeah, I wouldn't say that we were very religious growing up. We, you know, celebrated kind of the main holidays at our house, like Hanukkah, and we would obviously do Passover and breaking fast and Roche Chana dinner, but kind of the. I don't consider the minor holidays now, like Sukkot, like we never celebrate Sukkot. We would go to, like a poem, carnival. But I feel like I was probably the most religious person in my family, if that makes any sense. 

03:22
I was recently talking to my mother and I don't remember this, but she said that she used to threaten that I couldn't go to Hebrew school if I misbehaved. Clearly this is real and or maybe she just made it up, I don't even know, but clearly I was religious to the point where I enjoyed going to Hebrew school, whereas whereas my sister went to socialize we joke a lot about how I went and learned and was, you know, really believed everything and my sister just wanted to hang out with her friends. I've said this to you before I don't really think I came into and kind of were interacted with people who weren't Jewish really until I started going to kindergarten, because that's when I left the Jewish preschool and went to secular school. So I feel like in my very, very formative years, most of the people I was coming into contact to were with were Jewish, so being Jewish was normal. And being from the San Fernando Valley, which is kind of like an enclave of Jews, I feel like being Jewish was normally. 

04:15
When I went to secular school, I would say you know, more than a half of the kids at my day school were Jewish, so it wasn't like I was other, than I never really felt like being Jewish was something different. It was very normal, it was very accepted. I didn't really experience any anti-Semitism until I got into junior high and even then it wasn't anything compared to what I feel like people are dealing with today. So I feel like it was. It was like a pseudo religious secular youth, if that makes any sense. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
04:44
Do you have a strong memory of when you were othered for the first time, where you felt like being Jewish meant you weren't part of the mainstream? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
04:56
I feel like there were kids that made comments about my nose, which is kind of this was pre-nose job. I definitely had a nose job and I'm proud of it Made comments about my nose where I felt like this was the first time I was kind of being told that I was different in some capacity. But I feel like outright anti-Semitism I didn't really experience until I was actually an adult. I remember I remember I did that tour of Music man and there was a guy in the cast who was wearing rosary like as a necklace and I remember saying something like that. That was weird because it was a religious object and he kind of got really defensive and said what do you know, you're a Jew, you don't even believe in God. And he said this is in front of a couple other people I considered friends and no one said anything and I felt that was very other. 

05:42
I feel like that was one of the first times I felt kind of just like overtly, you know, that an anti-Semitic comment was made to me and you know, clue, this person had no concept of Judaism or me and I wasn't even friends with this person. I was just making like a passive comment because I didn't understand something. So I feel like that's one of the first instances that kind of stands out to me is feeling like I was, other than especially because there was someone there who was either at least half Jewish, if not fully Jewish I don't know how religious they were, but I knew they were Jewish in some capacity and then someone else that I considered a friend, and no one said anything. So it felt very alone and isolating incident. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
06:21
Okay, I mean that's pretty late then. Yeah, I mean you were well into being an adult. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
06:26
Yeah, I mean I like to say that I grew up in this kind of liberal, very Jewish bubble, so I feel like I was never othered. 

06:35
You know, I feel like that's definitely something that really started when I was an adult and especially with, you know, the onset of the internet and social media, I feel like I was much more exposed to anti-Semitism in general. 

06:49
I feel like this kind of this story kind of encapsulates my experience growing up with anti-Semitism is, I worked retail between gigs and there was an older woman who her husband had passed away and she was just really looking for something to pass the time and make a little bit of extra money and she was saying she vaulted for the ADL and I was like, oh, what's that? And she said it's an organization that focuses on fighting anti-Semitism. And I remember thinking why do we need something like that? This is, you know, 2009 or whatever year it was, and I was like that doesn't exist anymore. So it kind of puts into perspective how naive I was about how rampant anti-Semitism is. But it, you know, it shows kind of the area that I grew up in and the time that I grew up in and the people that I grew up with that, it was very normal to be Jewish. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
07:30
I think I saw recently on a number of feeds, you know, post October 7th, there was a gentleman I'm probably going to misinterpret the story just because I saw the video once but he I remember said growing up he never felt like he ever experienced anti-Semitism but then decided to start his own group. It was called I think it's nice Jewish boy and he basically holds these conventions or like get-togethers for Jewish people, for non-Jewish people, but just people who can get together and kind of socialize and meet up and talk to each other. 

08:17
I think it's partially maybe a dating thing he gets a lot of like he tries to separate, so it's not all just one, a bunch of girls getting together or a bunch of guys getting together. He tries to diversify it as much as possible. But while he's been in this kind of post October 7th world he's been posting videos and talking about things and he wears a hat that I believe it says nice Jewish boy on it and while he was posting a video about anti-Semitism, a person on the street confronted him, basically calling him racial slurs and calling him things, and he was like almost shocked and taken aback by it. In the moment that he was like oh, I'm literally making a video about my experience with anti-Semitism and how it's almost non-existent. 

09:02
And then somebody comes up to him abruptly on the street and, you know, basically verbally assaults him in that way. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
09:10
I feel like the and you know I've been very lucky the few instances I've experienced anti-Semitism. It is very shocking and almost jarring because a part of me is like, are you insane? You know, I feel like we are the generation, the geriatric millennials, whose grandparents fought in World War II and we learned a lot about the Holocaust and you know Schindler's List was made during our formative years. So it's like this is stuff that idiot proof Jewhatred is not a thing that is acceptable. So when it does happen, I feel like it is a shock and it's, you know, I feel like what I've been seeing since October 7th. You know, I've been crying and I have stress nightmares and it's, it's out of control. 

09:50
But I feel like growing up, like I said I did, growing up in kind of this nice little bubble of you know, acceptance and being proud of being Jewish and being able to display that. And you know, I remember, you know I still make fun of my mom for not wanting to say the word Hanukkah out loud in public because we'd be like at a department store and she'd be like, okay, you'll think about it for Hanukkah and I'd like laugh at her. But you know, having conversations with her, especially since October 7th. She's like you know. You know where I'm coming from now. You know my mother. You know her mother had to lie about being Jewish and couldn't go home really on Friday to celebrate Shabbat from work because she would have lost her job. So she's carrying that trauma that I feel like I did not have. That is now again coming back. 

10:33
No, reintroduced into this generational trauma that I've worked so hard to kind of get rid of, and nothing's more Jewish than that. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
10:40
Yes, generational return of the same traumas over and, over and over again, speaking of generational trauma in your family, where does your family historically originally come from? I know you said you grew up in LA, but what about a couple generations? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
10:57
So if we go back to great great grandparents on both sides, everyone was both sides. Everyone lived in the chetil of what is now either Russia, poland or Ukraine. My great grandmother, my mom's grandmother, on her mother's side, so my mom's mom's mom is from her. Paperwork from Ellis Island says that she is from Poland. However, her father's paperwork from years earlier, from the same town, says it was Russia. So it's kind of that border that kept on shifting depending on wars and what was going on. I don't know as much about my dad's family, though. When we were at Auschwitz, on in the book of the people who were killed during the Holocaust, we did find my maiden name which is not very common and anyone who has it is related to me and it said the people were from the Ukraine. So well, it's now the Ukraine. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
11:49
So yeah, I think you know that pale of settlement, poland, russia, it's either Ukraine or Belarus, or you know all of these ambiguously Eastern European countries that wars and drama and you know kingdoms all fought and lost territory or gained territory, depending on who was ruling that generation or that week. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
12:12
And the borders changed a lot yeah. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
12:14
I mean, it's hard to keep records, especially from a people where records were destroyed. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
12:19
Yeah, yeah, so it's that Eastern European pale of settlement shuttle life, like I literally had a great grandfather who was a tailor. So you know, when I did Fiddler on the roof numerous times I always felt like it was very much my family. Everyone to my knowledge came through Ellis Island. I have records for some relatives. The last direct relative, that great grandmother, came in 1920. So I did not have any direct relatives who would have been in Europe during the Holocaust. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
12:49
Do you feel like that made it more difficult for you to relate to the Holocaust or if, when you met people who had that direct trauma in their families or in their lives, that you felt a little kind of separated from that? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
13:06
I do feel separated in some capacity because I don't think I carry the same type of generational trauma, but I think a lot of the trauma my family carries is from what they experienced when they got to America. I also had a great grandmother who was in Russia during World War I and I think just the general being a Jewish person in the early 20th century in Russia has kind of trickled down a little bit. I mean, we'll talk about this, but I don't think it's damaged my ability to relate to people who have relatives who are in the Holocaust or the Holocaust in general. It's something that I'm very passionate about and know a lot about. So I think it might give me an advantage because I'm coming at it from a non-personal connection. It's not like I had a grandparent. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
13:53
Well, a non-direct relative connection? Yeah, a non-direct relative. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
13:56
I just not like I had a grandparent who was in a camp or lost a lot of family members. So I think there's a disconnect I can have and look at it from more of a academic perspective. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
14:06
Though I mean it's still personal. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
14:07
No, I think it's personal to anybody who is of Jewish heritage, but it's not personal in the way that I have heard stories from our relatives or lost relatives. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
14:14
So where did your family settle in the United States after they came through Ellis Island? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
14:19
So my mom's maternal side. They all ended up in Toledo, ohio, and I was making a joke once. I was like Jews in Toledo. Apparently there was an uncle who lived at a tire factory and he was able to get jobs for everybody, and another uncle I don't know if it was the same uncle at one point in the 50s visited California and said it's much better out here, you should all come. And they all moved to Beverly Hills. My mom's dad's side they lived in Chicago and I'm not sure how he ended up in the Los Angeles area. My dad's family is very New York. My grandparents were born and raised in the South Bronx they sounded like it. So they clearly just walked from Ellis Island to the Bronx and just stayed there. But my dad and his parents did move out to California when he was six. So that's kind of how everyone ended up out in Los Angeles. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
15:09
Then your parents basically grew up in LA. So, your second generation, los Angeles. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
15:14
Yes, second generation, san Fernando Valley, I guess, so you can get specific. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
15:18
Yeah, that's exciting. I don't know, I mean probably in the 80s that was an exciting place to be. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
15:24
It was a very exciting thing when Valley Girl was a movie and it was a trope. Encino man yes, I am a fan of Encino man. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
15:33
It's a good movie. I mean, hey, another Brendan Fraser class. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
15:36
I was probably sure who is Jewish. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
15:39
Growing up in LA. What was that experience like In general? Yeah, just being in LA. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
15:45
Everyone in LA is involved in the industry and I feel like that was also normal. And you know, my father is a retired television producer, my grandfather was one of the creators of let's Make a Deal and created a lot of game shows and was in the Writers Guild. So also being up in the entertainment industry is very normal, which is very Jewish. La, like I like to say, is a giant suburb, so we didn't really leave the general West Valley area too much. I do feel like I was afraid of Hollywood a little bit because I knew it was kind of dangerous and I eventually went to school there. So obviously I figured out that that wasn't real. But it was a very suburban existence, idyllic in some capacities. We were middle class, living in a flourishing suburb, and I wasn't really experiencing any racism. 

16:40
I wasn't experiencing it. I'm sure it obviously existed, but, yeah, I think it was a good place to grow up. I feel like, though, it would be very different now. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
16:48
Do you think growing up in LA led you to what your kind of wanted career path was, at least in your earlier life? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
16:55
I don't think so. So I did do children's theater and then kind of decided I didn't want to do it. I don't feel like the exposure to my family being in the entertainment industry had anything to do with it. I think it was their love of the arts that more encouraged that. My father, especially his love of classic films. You know my mom likes to say that she got me interested watching old movies by showing musicals, which is what we're doing with our daughter. She loves movie musicals. And then I kind of got into, you know, classic film and used to come home from school every day and watch TCM and I kind of fell in love with that aspect of it. It wasn't really the theater part of it. That came until later, when I was in high school, and I really don't think growing up, growing up in LA, made a difference. I feel like a lot of people who end up on Broadway grew up in the middle of nowhere. I feel like that's a much more common story than I grew up in New Yorker LA. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
17:50
Yeah. 

17:50
I mean, I think a lot of things tie people into wanting to pursue a career in acting or performing or anywhere in the industry really, but I don't know, when you're surrounded by it all the time, it might, you know, influence it. I will say I don't know if I would naturally have been drawn into being an actor or performer or a singer if my parents weren't already involved in it and I was exposed in the way, in that way. But then again, I can't imagine what my life would be or who I would be without that kind of exposure. Speaking of your family, can you share some family traditions or cherished rituals or things that your family does? Like Jewish rituals, yeah, but are Jewish? That might maybe are unique to your family, or are just things that, when they come around yearly, that you kind of tie yourself to? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
18:42
Yeah, I can start with the year cycle. So Rosh Hashanah we always had dinner at my great-aunt and great-uncle's house and obviously had apples and honey and it was a big kind of family get-together and dinner. And then, you know, a week or ten days later however far go and keep horrors away we would do the break fast. I don't really remember my parents fasting, but I did after I turned 13 and then stopped for a little while and I started doing it again recently. Su coat we didn't do anything from Su coat For Hanukkah, you know, being an American Jew, that was like the big holiday. 

19:19
So we got eight presents and when I was younger we would always do a big family get-together at our house and then we would also do one at my great-aunt's house and then, as time went on, it would just be at my great-aunt's house where the family would get together, but every other night we would get a present and then when my sister and I got older, there would be a night where they'd take us to the mall and we got to pick out a present, which I thought was really cool. After I was out of preschool, we didn't really do anything for porum Passover. We always had these huge saders at my great-aunt's house, like 30 plus people, and there's a couple things I think that my family does differently, just in general. So at Passover, normally when someone finds the Afi Komen, they're the one that gets a present, but at my great-aunt's house everyone got a present, including the adults. Usually it would be some sort of book, possibly about Judaism, for the adults, but the kids would either get money or present of some kind, and I think that's pretty unique. 

20:10
There's also something my family does that I don't know if this is just my family, but traditionally at least at our synagogue everyone says the mourners' cottage, but in my family you don't say it unless your parents have died. So I don't know if this is a conservative Jewish thing or just my family, but for me, even now I don't say it, even though it's a congregation where it's to do it to support people who are observing mourning. But I don't do it and it's just a kind of, I think, a reminder to me a little bit about how lucky I am that my parents are still alive, because most of my friends have lost at least one parent. So that's something that my family does. That's different. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
20:52
Any of these celebrations or unique traditions have you incorporated into your adult life or your family life? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
21:00
I mean, we do have a big holiday party, which I like, but it's not with my extended family, obviously. I don't know. We don't have large saders, so I don't think it had the opportunity to give every guest a gift, and we have a small apartment, so I don't know how we would hide the offy comb in them and just see how that will work out when our daughter gets a little bit older. I think a lot of what I do and what we do is stuff that we've created. Like I said, I feel like I grew up pseudo-religious, secular, so we didn't have a lot of. Well, this is what we do. We do Shabbat, we do this, so there wasn't really a lot of. I feel like a lot of the stuff we did was just very normal, so there's not anything unique, I think, that I've kind of brought into our life. I think anything I do as an adult is something that I've kind of made the conscious decision to do. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
21:45
Are you influenced, then, by what your family was doing before, or is this something that you've now learned in your own Jewish studies, or connecting to the synagogue that we're now going to, or other things that have kind of influenced that? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
21:59
I don't think it has anything to do with what my family did before, my mom in particular. 

22:05
You know she had a sister that passed away, so her parents kind of distanced themselves from religion, so she didn't really have anything that she did and I think that's part of the reason we didn't do anything is there was nothing that she had that she brought to the table. 

22:17
My dad's family wasn't very religious in the same way. You know he had like three months to get ready for his bar mitzvah and it was at the temple of the death and we make jokes about my dad singing badly and, you know, no one I'm being able to hear. So they didn't really bring any like major traditions with them to our household. So I think that anything that I've started to implement with our daughter has been stuff that I've either always wanted to do and, you know, either felt uncomfortable asking to do it or just knew that it wasn't possible and things that I've learned about that you can do. You know things like hanging a mitzvah and saying the prayer for that, or, you know, doing Shabbat every Friday and things like that that I've always wanted to do, obviously like I always wanted to suck up, but we live in a New York apartment, so that's not going to happen. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
23:03
Well, why do you think your family never celebrated Sukkot? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
23:07
I don't know. I feel like you know the holidays were a big deal and we went to synagogue, but I feel like it is a major holiday but it wasn't treated like one in my family I'm not sure why. Like something I really always want to do is one of the things you can do is sleep outside under the Sukkot, and I always wanted to do that, which you know is about as much camping as I'll do, but it's something you know we can't do. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
23:33
There's no room service in the Sukkot no room service in the Sukkot. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
23:37
So I feel like that's just something you know we can't do in this apartment. Maybe someday, if we ever move, well speaking of our child. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
23:44
How has your relationship with Judaism changed since having a child? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
23:48
I think it's completely changed. I think prior to her being born I was interested in joining a synagogue and kind of finding my way back to Judaism. But since she's been born I've been super active within the synagogue. You know, from three months on we were doing little kid classes and they have a day school and I knew I wanted to send her there because I feel like I wanted her to have a Jewish education and a lot of reform synagogues it's once a week or you know, only a few hours a week and I wanted it to be as thorough as the education that I had and I thought that that was the best way to do it. 

24:24
I also, you know, we've started to do Shabbat on Fridays. I'm going to services on Fridays. I'm celebrating holidays I've never celebrated before and doing things like going to the March in DC and getting to know the clergy very well. I feel like I didn't really have any relationship with the clergy at this synagogue I grew up with and I feel like maybe it's because I was a child, but now, as an adult, I feel like I can communicate with these people and talk religion with them in a real way. So I would say that my relationship with Judaism has changed a lot. I don't think I'm necessarily more devout, like I still believe in God in the same way. That hasn't really changed. But I think my activeness has changed. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
25:05
I'm more actively a Jew Well what role does faith and spirituality play in your everyday life, and how do you want to instill those values in our child or any future children that we have? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
25:19
In my everyday life. I feel like recently I've thought so much about being Jewish and my faith has become a big part of it, especially in the last five weeks. But I pray every night and you know I use it as kind of a meditative time to center myself and communicate with God and talk about the things I want and kind of go over the day a little bit. I think, in addition to, you know, personally speaking directly with God and praying. You know the idea of Takun Olam, which is healing the world, is very big at our synagogue and you know I volunteer with an organization called Days for Girls. We're going to be interviewing one of the heads of the New York chapter. You know I try to be active in the community in some capacity. And the idea of helping people out. You know mitzvah, even if it's just something small, like telling somebody they dropped something or holding an elevator or complimenting someone, I feel like every day I do a little bit to try to go out of my day to make some Wednesday better, and I think that kind of stems from the idea of healing the world, because even these small things that we can do can make a difference, because you don't really know what someone's going through during the day and maybe you saying something nice to them makes that day better, and I feel like that kind of again goes back to my faith. But that's again something my mother taught me that I don't think was based in religion, like saying thank you and treating everybody the same, no matter if they were a janitor or a CEO. I feel like those are kind of Jewish values that she grew up with that maybe she didn't realize were related to Judaism, and that's definitely something I want to pass off to our daughter. 

26:55
We live in a city with so many different types of people and it's so easy, especially when you're living in a neighborhood like the Upper West Side, to not notice people who are not in the same socioeconomic or religious group that you are, and I think it's so important to notice these people and their worth. So I want to pass on the idea that you know it's good to be a mensch. You know and someone even mentioned to us that she's already doing that. You know she's comforting her. She's two years old. She's comforting classmates who are upset that they're being dropped off at school. So she's already doing that on her own. 

27:30
She's very empathetic, but I feel like the idea of community service and giving back is something I want to instill in her. I also want to instill my love of Judaism and how joyous it is. I feel like a lot of Judaism and our history is very sad. It's holidays, about people trying to kill us and the Holocaust, obviously, and there's a lot of anti-Semitism, but there's a lot of things trending online right now about Jewish joy and that's really what I want to pass on to her Is my love of Judaism, is my love of my heritage, is my love of my religion. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
28:01
How do you approach the concept of education within your family or, I guess, our family? Like Jewish education Well yeah, like I mean, how important is education to our family? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
28:13
I think again, I had a conversation with my mother about this, because I said her parents really distanced themselves from Judaism and she didn't have any Jewish education. So she said it was very important to her that me and my sister had a Jewish education, because it's something she felt like she was a little bit deprived of and she wanted us to know what we were praying about and about the holidays, and that was important. And I think that that's important in the same way for our daughter. I think that we've chosen to raise her as a Jew and it's important that she knows what that means. 

28:46
I feel like there's a lot of people, not just Jews, who don't know enough about their culture and I think it's important to know where you came from and who your people are. So I think education in general plays a big part in our household. You know I always reading and learning and you know part of our business is educating people. But I think when it comes to specifically Jewish education, it's very important to know your heritage and I think that really learning about yourself includes learning about where you came from. You know not just from your family, but from your people, and her knowing about that is important. And the last thing I wanted her to ask me well, you had this education. Why did you deprive me of that education? I just want her to have the same type of Jewish education I did. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
29:33
Well, I don't even know if it's the same type. I think what she's going to be getting is a little more intense than what you got or, you know, any sort of religious education I got. I went to a very I went to a lot of public schools, but I also was brought up in California where the public school system for the most part throughout the whole state is pretty solid. 

29:54
So, um, it's. You know it was more normal for kids in the West Coast at least, where I grew up, to go to public school yeah, to private school, where it's almost the opposite where we live now in New York. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
30:05
Yeah, Private school is very much a thing, but the choice to send you to a Jewish private school, like I said, is because I want her to have that education and also a part of it, like maybe part of me, wished I did go to a Jewish day school. So this is just kind of me, I hate to say vicariously living through her, but providing her with the opportunities that you know I wish I had because I was so interested in it. Maybe, you know, I wish I would have had the opportunity to delve a little more into it when I was in elementary school. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
30:33
Speaking of your family and traditions and these things that are passed down, even just stories. What kind of lessons from your own family history have passed down to you that you've made you who you are? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
30:45
I think, as I said before, a big part of it is giving back and treating people humanely. I think that there's a lot of families not just Jewish families, obviously all different kinds of people that the children are not taught to treat people equally, and I feel like that's just something that my family has always done. My grandfather's mother's best friend was a transgender woman and they met in the 70s and this is something that was not very common at the time and definitely looked down upon or even taboo. You know they used to have black people over at the house for dinner in the 60s. They were very active politically, so treating people equally was very important in his family and I think treating people nicely was very important to my mom's family treating people, no matter where they came from or who they were, as equals. So I think those are things that have definitely been brought down to me. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
31:37
In your opinion, what do you think makes a strong and connected Jewish family, and what efforts do you make to foster these qualities within our family? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
31:46
The strong and connected Jewish family Guilt. No, that's not just Jews, that's a lot of other cultures as well, I think. A love of each other. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
31:57
Well, look at it, you Catholics. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
31:59
I know you got that guilt too. I think, a connection and love for each other and a respect for differences. My sister and I are very different people and maybe the only thing that we have in common is the fact that we grew up together, but we respect each other and our different paths and there's a love there. I think that Jewish families, at least the ones I know there's a lot of squabble, there can be disagreements, but at the end of the day we always come back together because I think for thousands of years all we had was family. So the family unit in Judaism is extremely important, because sometimes that's all you had. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
32:33
I know your Hebrew name has something to do with your family as well. What is your Hebrew name? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
32:38
So my Hebrew name is Nahama Michal, which means peace and who is like God. It is after my mom's mother, natalie, and Michal being the female form of Michael, which was her father's middle name, and my English name is Nicomery same thing, natalie and her father's middle name, michael. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
32:56
Well, I know your family does like a thing about naming people after people. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
33:00
Yeah, that's a really Ashkenazi thing. I know some Sephardic people will name after living people. I do know people who've done that, but in the Ashkenazi tradition, at least the people I know usually name after somebody who has passed away in a way to honor them. For example, our daughter is Sherabracha and she's named after my grandmother and my great uncle which means something music right. Sherabracha is song and Raha is blessing. That's right. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
33:27
Blessed music yes, that's at least how it was sold to me. Yes, blessed music, yeah, it's good. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
33:33
And I picked it out when I was in the hospital at 31 weeks with her, because I was by myself for like long periods of time, because this was in the middle of COVID and you were like limited as the amount of time you could be there. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
33:44
Yes, and you were held there for a while because of blood pressure. Blood pressure, yeah. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
33:49
And I was really Googling Hebrew names while I was in the hospital, and that's when I picked it out. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
33:55
Yeah, we picked her. I guess English name pretty early on, I mean even, I think, before she was conceived. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
34:01
We picked out her English name before we got married. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
34:03
Yeah, I mean it's been. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
34:05
We've had a kind of Grantha, we didn't tell anybody but it was just kind of in our. 

34:09
Yeah, it was in our radar, but her Hebrew name I picked out and we kind of going back to something we'd done with her is we had a very big baby naming for her. So our daughter was born in May of 2021, kind of and still in the height of COVID. So we were far away from my family and we wanted to do a naming. So the January after she was born we had a ridiculously large party at a restaurant where basically everyone we knew in Los Angeles and had a canter due to the naming and we resumed people in from New York and it was a really beautiful ceremony. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
34:46
Yeah, it was nice. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
34:46
Yeah, David, who was one of her godparents, who has since passed away, gave a really beautiful speech and I have that video on my phone. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
34:54
Yeah, and we got to because girls don't go through a breast. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
35:02
Yeah, there's no ritual aspect to a girl's naming. So the canter had suggested a foot washing, because when Sarah welcomes in the strangers, she washes their feet. So it's something that a lot of families have started to do when they have a female naming. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
35:17
We did a ceremonial washing of her feet to welcome her into our family, which was cool, yeah. And then we passed her along. Yes, we passed her around with everybody. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
35:27
And she was wrapped in a blanket that my grandmother who I never got to meet made, which is kind of like a thing that's been a tradition with us. My grandfather's tallest was in our hoopa, I think. Kind of going back to the question you asked earlier, a lot of what my family does is passing down ritual objects and saving things like that. We have a lot of items. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
35:52
So to get away from the family a little bit. What are you passionate about? What makes you want to wake up and do things in the morning? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
35:59
I'm very passionate about our daughter. 

36:01
I feel like I never wanted to be one of those people who was like I'm a mother and that's my whole personality, but it has become a big part of it, I think partly because I've become active with her at the synagogue, so I'm known as her mother and we're together. I'm very passionate about Holocaust, education and history, and this is something I've been passionate about since I was a small child. My mother and father don't remember this, but there was an instance I must have been like 10 or 11 and we were Barnes and Noble and I was, of course, looking at the adult nonfiction section, the history section, and I was like, oh, I want this book. And I was about the Holocaust and my mother said why don't you get something a little bit happier, like about the civil war, which is not a happy thing either. But maybe to her it was less traumatic for an 11 year old, but it's always been kind of something I've been interested in. I read the diary of Anne Frank when I probably was a little too young to read it. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
36:56
Were you younger than Anne? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
36:57
Yes, I was younger than she was when she wrote it. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
37:01
Is that, like the metric, you probably shouldn't read that book if you're younger than the author. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
37:07
I don't know if that should be the metric. I think that I was maybe a little too young to understand the history of what was happening. I wasn't really versed in the history and what she was talking about and I think that would have brought something extra to the experience. But I don't think I was too young to. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
37:27
Well, how old were you? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
37:28
I think I was 11. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
37:29
Oh well, that's not too off. I mean, she was what? 13, 14 when she wrote it. She was 13 when she got her diary. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
37:34
I believe I was maybe 10 or 11 when I read it and it was like a huge discussion about whether or not I would be able to. And looking back on it, I feel like there's nothing necessarily inappropriate in it, but maybe people thought that I would be scared with what she was talking about. So Holocaust education is something I'm very passionate about now, especially with this resurgence of extreme anti-Semitism and people throwing around words like genocide. I think it's super important. I think, as there really aren't a lot of survivors left who were in the camps to speak about their experience, it's very important to kind of pick up the mantle of that and continue their stories. It's important to talk about why it happened and the steps leading up to it, because I think a lot of people know the final event but they don't know what decades of leading up to that was, to recognize the signs of that happening again. So I think that's super important. Other than Holocaust education, which I feel like it honestly comes up almost every day in conversation, is With us, with the refugees. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
38:35
No, I will say this I think what makes something like the Holocaust such a rich thing to study, even academically, is there are six million stories built into it. That it's not just. There was one experience, that every person who went through that experience experience. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
38:57
Absolutely. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
38:59
There are six million individual experiences for every victim who went through it. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
39:04
I talked to a woman yesterday whose father was a Holocaust survivor and he was family basically hid out in forests and hid in haystacks and he was four and talking about their family basically just surviving fairly. And then I've talked to people who were in camps. My third grade Hebrew school teacher was in Auschwitz and dug the grave for her parents. And there's this really great Instagram account it's a little dark, which is on par for me. 

39:34
It's called Angels of the Holocaust and this person isn't Jewish and I would love to talk to them about how they do their research. But every day they feature a different child who was killed in the Holocaust. They show pictures and tell a little bit about their life and their parents maybe, or any siblings they had. So it just really drives home to me and I see, look at this every day that these were real people and they all had different stories and you can't clump them together. And I think a lot of people tend to clump this like, well, everybody was this and they all died in the gas chamber and most people died in Auschwitz, and I was like there were a lot of people died in Auschwitz and a lot of people died in gas chambers, but there were a lot of different ways people died. There's a lot of different ways people survived, and I think that is one of the things I'm drawn to is there's so many different stories that I feel like there's an infinite amount of information to learn. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
40:25
Well, it was what a little more now than five years ago, we went on our trip to central Europe and visited Auschwitz and visited Birkenau and visit yeah and Dachau. The sign which I can't remember in the German. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
40:39
Arbeck Machfreie. I believe I'm saying that correct Work will set you free. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
40:44
Work will set you free that was put as a euphemism that work yourself to death and then you'll be free. Of course, there are a lot of ways that people were tortured and suffered and eventually killed within these places and just within Europe during that era. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
41:02
Yeah. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
41:02
Right. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
41:03
Yeah. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
41:05
But I do think it makes it a fascinating subject and something that you can find parallels in all throughout human history, from the ancients through the Middle Ages, through mid-American century history to all the way till today. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
41:18
I think what makes it so fascinating is it's modern. Poland was invaded the same year that Gone With the Wind came out, and was it of us? Yeah, so that happened that same year. It was in 1939. So it is a long time ago, but it's what we consider very modern. So I had this memory of reading a book I believe it was very much like this woman's father also hidden haystacks, and I remember at one point at the end of a chapter it said and the year was 1943. I literally forgotten it was the 1940s because of the way she was talking about it sounded almost medieval because, you know so that I'm also fascinated with the idea that in literally modern times this happened. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
41:58
That's pretty recent compared to a lot of other histories. Yeah, it's pretty crazy yeah. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
42:02
Other things I'm passionate about. Yeah, other things I'm passionate about. I am passionate about dogs. We have a menagerie of dogs in this house. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
42:12
Yes, Nicole is a collector. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
42:13
I'm a collector and you know, even today we were walking down the street and there was this beautiful great dane and I was like look at that dog. I'm passionate about dogs. You know we've done fundraisers. Our company has done fundraisers for dog rescues. I'm a big supporter of animal rescue. I follow a lot of them on Instagram when I've donated money, you know, to different rescues. I think rescue is so important. I am passionate about other histories I'm passionate about I'm a huge Anglophile. You know we went to England for the Jubilee. We went to London for the Jubilee. I dragged my then one year old and my dog, I am not as much of an. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
42:47
Anglophile so it was quite the experience to be around Joyous, royal, loving Brits as you know, carriages that you can't see anybody pass by, I know but we were there though. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
43:04
We were there and the British people on my tours are always so impressed that we went and they kind of rolled their eyes like I don't want to go. So I'm a huge Anglophile. I love British history. I went through a huge kind of tutor obsessive period when I was 14. I love the crown. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
43:21
Is that your Roman Empire? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
43:22
It is my Roman Empire. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
43:24
Yeah. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
43:25
I know, I think the Royal Family is my Royal Empire. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
43:28
Roman Empire. That's what your, the Royal Family is my Roman Empire. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
43:32
I have specific jewelry that I own because Kate Middleton has it. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
43:37
Yeah, that's pretty. I mean, that's a lot of energy to put into a family, especially the way we treat them. You could consider it a human rights violation. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
43:51
But you know who is a big supporter of Holocaust education survivors is King Charles. He was actually just at a event for the 85th anniversary of Kristallnacht, he met with a bunch of older people who were in the Kidder Transport, who were Holocaust survivors, who escaped the Holocaust, and he wrote the forward for a book that a Woman and her grandson wrote about her experience in World War two. So he is a big supporter of Holocaust education, fun fact for you good to know. 

44:22
Um, so I'm a huge Anglophile, I love dogs, I Love horror movies. Passionate about these things. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
44:32
I mean, every October we go through a, we watch a horror movie marathon. I'm through a horror movie marathon, so yeah, I'm very passionate about all those things. Speaking of things you're passionate about, why don't you tell me a little bit about your bot mitzvah? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
44:46
Oh, my pop, it's fast. So I was the first woman bought mitzvah on either side of my family, which isn't something actually figured out in my brain in the moment, in the moment until I met you, basically like you, I think you asked me and I was like, yeah, I think I am the first woman to have a bit. So I had a double Tour portion. It was very long and my synagogue wasn't very large, so you got the entire thing. You weren't sharing it with anybody and I also had a very long half Torah. So the preparation for it was a lot Mm-hmm. But I went to Hebrew school twice a week. So I go to regular like secular day school five days a week and then it'd be either Tuesday or Thursday or Monday and Wednesday and I would go for two hours and we learned Hebrew and we learn about the prayers. 

45:31
It was kind of in preparation for my bot mitzvah and I went from the time I was in kindergarten until I was in seventh grade twice a week and sometimes on Sundays and and a long you know, one of the things that was required of Graduating, I guess from each class, is from each year, as you had to go to a certain number of Services. So you'd be required to go like a certain number of Friday night or Saturday night services. So I was exposed to the services and then I was also in the children's choir, so we would perform at concerts and in services and then inevitably once a year the like the class you were in would have like a Shabbat service, they'd leave. So I was kind of I mean, it wasn't like we went to services all the time, but you know I went regularly enough that I was very familiar with the prayers and the process of all that and I had my bot mitzvah when I was 13 it was March 13th 1999. 

46:22
I thought that was cool because it was the 13th and I turned 13. I practiced a lot. I was very Took it very seriously. I had it memorized way before I needed to. There was no last minute with that. The ceremony was Lovely and my mom talks about how people didn't realize I could because I basically like chanted the Torah portion and they didn't realize that I could sing. So you know, she said that everybody was kind of Complimenting me and was really surprised by that. I feel like every girl who had a bot mitzvah in the 90s kind of wore like the same outfit and I've noticed this. On some it's like a suit, it was like a white dress with a little white suit jacket. Hmm, I'm sure that caused Conversations. You've seen pictures of this. It wasn't an issue for me. It became more of an issue when my sister had her bot mitzvah. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
47:14
Because, she did not want to wear an outfit like that, and there were a lot of discussions, I think a lot of these people were concerned were raised conservative and you had to cover your shoulders on the beema. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
47:24
My sister had her bot mitzvah because she would did not want to wear an outfit like that and there were a lot of discussions about. But of course, the party is the most important part as well to any 13 year old, well before we talk about the party. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
47:38
Do you remember any of your portion? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
47:40
No, like if I was like if you, if you put it in front of me, I might be able to remember some of it. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
47:47
But like off the top of your head. You couldn't just be like no, I probably cut that on. I don't know. No, no, no. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
47:55
No. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
47:55
I feel like they all start like that. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
47:58
No, they all, you pseudo like what trophy? I don't remember it, but I think if you put it in front of me I could probably Re-learn it. But there was a good portion of time where I still remembered it, probably at least two years after look, the only thing I can compare it to is in eighth grade. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
48:21
I had to memorize not the same thing a Timeline for my eighth grade American history class which I can basically still recite from memory. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
48:31
How long was that timeline? 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
48:35
It was long I mean it was like 40 minutes. Like it because if you did the entire thing which we had to do by the end of the class, it was like Everybody was broken into 40 minutes for you to recite this timeline. You had to write it down. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
48:52
No, that's not the same thing. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
48:53
No, no, I'm just saying you had to write it down fully and then, over about a Two-week period, and there were about maybe 28, 30 kids in the class, he would have us come in in sections and Then we would have to, and as the other kids like waited outside, he would have us like recite certain sections, but we didn't know what section. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
49:17
It's not the same thing. I didn't know the whole. I get what you're saying, but it's not the same thing, because each I the tour portion was about ten minutes, which is extremely long for a tour portion. The half tour was a little bit shorter, so it would be like trying to remember 20 minutes of just straight monologue in another language while singing. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
49:38
Yeah, it's like doing an aria, like an opera. Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
49:41
So it's something you need to keep up with, but I think that it's something that I could definitely Re-learn. It would probably be in the back of my head somewhere. It's like riding a bike, like you'd be like I do the trail there, I do remember going to other bar buts and being upset at how short their portions were and kind of being like, well, that's ridiculous. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
49:58
Okay, so now on to the most important part of the whole experience. Yes, the party. Yes, which I've learned is not just, you know, it's not like wedding, where weddings can just be themed wedding. No, it is like some people just theme their bat mitzvah, bat mitzvah. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
50:14
Yes, we have talked to some people who they were like there was no theme, but mine was themed the 1950s and it had been something I had Chosen many years before because K earth 101 played a lot of 50s music and now they play the early 2000s. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
50:30
Please don't say that. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
50:34
And I love 50s music and I love poodle skirts and I loved, you know kind of the whole 50s vibe. So the colors were turquoise, hot pink and black and there was a checkerboard dance floor and we had the same DJ company that did our wedding, did my bat mitzvah and the mother of the owner is was my great Dance friend. So people who went to the synagogue, I feel like the 90s. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
50:59
Every One and a half to two years went through every popular decade of the 20th century. Like it became suddenly popular again all of a sudden, like I remember, like flappers were really popular at one point and then it was like swing dance and then it was very big in 1999 and 2000. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
51:17
So that was something that was also kind of a little bit at my bat mitzvah, but it wasn't really the 1950s and Each table was named after a 1950s song and there were like these plastic like records and the name of the song was written on it and there were balloons. And Everybody's party favor was this it was a cup like a tumbler, like a glass tumbler that had Elvis on it, that my mom had gotten it a gift show and she filled it with malt balls and Then put like this mesh on top of it and made it look like a Sunday, like put a straw on it. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
51:47
She's very crafty your mom is very crafty. She's very good at that kind of stuff. I think that's my first memory of your mom was when I went over to your house, the first time she was making things for you because your sister was in the band. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
51:58
Yeah. 

52:00
Making stuff and I was just like there's a lot of crafty, yeah, my mom's really good at that, so she made those favors and I remember there was like an Elvis Barbie doll next to them that I think it's still in the house somewhere and we also, she also. We also got a picture taken of me dressed like a car hop and turned it into a cardboard cutout which is still in my room. I might post a picture of that on my Instagram if you're curious as to what that looks like. You can see a very, very thin 13 year old Nicole dresses a car hop. 

52:29
So the party was during the day, so my parents got a van that took all the kids from the synagogue to the venue, which was the country club my parents remembers of, and that was really cool. I thought that was really cool and my dress was this turquoise. It wasn't a poodle skirt, but it but it poofed out like a poodle skirt and it had, I think, a Scotty on it instead of a poodle. And my mom's best friend, gail, made it because she sews and I Love that dress. I wore it for Halloween, I think that year as well. So it was a very 50s year. 

53:00
It was a very 50s year. I enjoyed it. I feel like, though, with the, this has kind of occurred with other events in my life, like prom or graduation. I remember we were cleaning up as we were leaving and I'm like that's it. I like that's it. I was like I've been studying for this my entire life. If I've been playing this party for a year with my mom and that's it. Well, what's weird is my bot mid-so is in March and Hebrew school is in place until June. So it's kind of like this weird, like I had my bot mid-so but I'm still going to Hebrew school, type thing. I will say and I've never told you this I have stress dreams about not being eligible to graduate from Hebrew school. 

53:38
Wow I am gonna be 38 years old and I still have Like dreams that I have not done the coursework to graduate from Hebrew schools, so I don't know. We can unpack that at a different time. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
53:49
Do people get like Hebrew school senioritis basically? I kind of, but I have like if you bar about mitzvah to early then and you have to continue through the rest of the year. You're like, well, I already did. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
54:01
Yeah, that's kind of how I felt for a few months I was kind of like, well you know, but I still weirdly Dreams about not being eligible to graduate, which I have a diploma and there was a ceremony, so I definitely did. It's kind of like how you have those high school stress dreams even though you're in your 30s? 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
54:15
Yeah, I, I sometimes still have them where. I have to go back to school and I'm like, oh my god, I'm naked and I have to take this class to graduate? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
54:23
Mine is is I'm always a science credit short of being able to graduate high school. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
54:28
Well, do you have like a distinct memory of joy at your bot mitzvah party? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
54:33
Yes, I there. There was like a mix or mashup of 1950 songs. It was like after my grand entrance. I just remember dancing and having like a really great time and I remember my favorite song at the time was pretty fly for a white guy I'm dating myself. Yes, I remember dancing to that and just being excited to dance to my favorite off-spring song at my bot mitzvah. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
55:00
Hmm, I mean Americana was a very influential. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
55:04
Oh, and another thing because it was a daytime, we weren't religious, but because it was a daytime party on Saturday we couldn't do a candle lighting. For those of you that don't know what this is, basically, there are candles and you call people up who are important to you, like your relatives or your friends, and they light a candle with you and they're supposed to be 13 candles, but we couldn't light flames because it was still Shabbat. So my mom, being crafty and smart, she took a picture and I think it was like a like a picture of me when I was younger and Basically had it put on foam board and cut it. It was cut into puzzle pieces. So there was I would put the puzzle piece on the like another board. 

55:42
So I still got to do kind of like a bringing everybody up, and when you brought everybody, so everybody up, the DJ will play a song and of course, when you brought all your friends up, they played the friends theme. So that was also fun was and what we did when I called people up as we wrote a little poem, a About the person. So that was kind of fun, creating those poems as well. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
56:02
Is that a, I guess, a Valley bat mitzvah thing, or? The puzzle piece thing. No, no, no the like little poems to bring, because I feel like in my adult life I've now been to many, many bar and bat mitzvahs, either as a performer or as a guest and I think that trend sends to well. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
56:21
I clearly started it. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
56:22
I don't know. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
56:24
I do have a friend that had a bat mitzvah after me that also did the puzzle piece thing, because it was a, they liked it on it. It was a nice work around, I think, for the, for the candle thing, because a lot of people had daytime parties because they were cheaper. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
56:38
Yeah. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
56:40
So I don't know if I clearly started a trend in the Valley or it's just something that my mom had seen someone else do, but it was kind of fun writing the poems. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
56:48
So what do you love most about being Jewish? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
56:51
Okay, I can kind of some what I love most about being Jewish into an experience. I love the Jewish joy and I love how I love that feeling I get when the horror starts playing and everyone gets up to go dance, and just the joy and excitement people feel. You look at people's faces when they're like having so much fun, like as the horror starts, and I feel like that encompasses the Jewish joy that I feel. I love the musical aspect of Judaism. I think it's one of the things that kind of got me interested in music and performing is Temple and exposure to that, and I think I talk about being in the children's choir and the other thing. But I love the community feeling. I love that. 

57:30
You know I went to this March. You know, yesterday I didn't know anybody on the bus I was with. I spent the entire day with this woman I never met before and we connected and you know we kind of took care of each other and I love that. Regardless of where you are, you can relate to people on a certain level because of a shared experience and being Jewish. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
57:54
Knowing that, what inspired you to start this podcast? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
57:58
In my journey to being more observant and being more involved with the synagogue. As an adult, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do, where I fit in on all this. What is being Jewish mean to me? So, as any good person in 2023 does, I turned to social media and the internet and was looking for maybe influencers or podcasts that would give me some insight on what it's like to be a modern Jewish woman living in a major city in 2023. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
58:25
Who's a mother? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
58:26
I was a mother and it kind of fell into two categories. There are people who are more like lifestyle, so they're showing cool fashion and going to parties and they're very pretty and they're also Jewish and there's an aspect of that. And there were some people who are mothers who were kind of doing things like this I would decorate it for the holidays. But that wasn't really what I was looking for. And then the other thing I found was a lot of people who were like I'm Orthodox, this is what Orthodox Jews do, this is what I believe, and I think there's a very important place for that, and I think it's important to normalize Hasidic and Orthodox Jews as normal people, because I feel like a lot of people see them as like come look at the freaks, and I think it's. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
59:08
Yeah, I mean there's definitely a further othering. A fetishing almost yeah a fetishing Anybody who lives an extreme lifestyle of any kind. We want to make a reality show about it. If they're conservative, anything. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
59:25
Yeah. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
59:26
Or at least hyper religious, of any kind People are intrigued by that. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
59:30
So we have our influencers who like that's their whole thing and that's great. And then we have our ultra religious people talking about their religion, but there really wasn't anything in the middle. There wasn't people talking about different ways to be Jewish. The podcasts tend to be about Torah or they're like super intellectual. We're talking with triple PhD about anti-Semitism. That wasn't really what I was looking for either. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
59:55
Look, I think there's probably a really important place for hyperacademic. There is Looks at any sort of world issue and, to be honest, I'd rather listen to somebody with a triple PhD when it comes to certain subjects than somebody's hot take on something. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:00:15
No, I agree, but that wasn't necessarily what I was looking for. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:00:18
Again, an hyperacademic exploration of something isn't necessarily a daily experience. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:00:24
No, I wanted to kind of look into the different ways to be Jewish and I really wanted to hear people's stories. I feel like you have 100 Jews, you have 200 different stories and ways of observing, and I wanted to learn about people's experiences and learn about what being Jewish meant to them and see if it was different or similar to my experience. I feel like a lot of what I grew up thinking was normal was normal specifically my family and my synagogue not necessarily to conservative Judaism or Judaism in general. So kind of figuring out what's normal and maybe reinforcing or challenging what I believe, and that's one of the reasons I want to start this podcast. I've also, even in the short time we've been talking to people, made connections with people who are amazing. I've learned more about people I already know and I feel like I'm really interested in people's stories. So this is a way for me to learn about people's stories and share their stories. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:01:21
Yeah, I think it's cool. I mean, I don't think you or I, doing the editing for this, are going to ever strive for perfection. We're never going to be striving to say this is the one and only way to do anything. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:01:39
And that's, I think, one of the things I love about Judaism that even within my research about two different types of observance of Hanukkah, I'll talk about, for example, the way people like the candles different. Didn't know that Very interesting to me. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:01:54
So I think that Well, I think it's important to say there isn't really a right or wrong way to do one or the other. It's just these are the different variations of the same thing. Yeah, yeah, which is cool, it's important. Who do you think ultimately this podcast is for, then? Is it only for Jews, kind of exploring what you're at, or is it for anybody who's curious about this? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:02:18
I think it's for anybody and everybody. I spoke with a woman who is not Jewish. Her husband is culturally Jewish, not religious at all. Both her daughters are dating Jewish men and are probably going to be converting, and she was like I will have Jewish children and Jewish grandchildren. I don't really know much about this. It's for people who grew up like me, who maybe are finding their way back to religion. It's for people who aren't religious, who are interested in the cultural aspect. It's for people who are curious about one of their favorite influencers or Jews that I'm interviewing. It's for people like my parents, who are maybe trying to figure out what being Jewish means today. 

01:02:56
I think it's for people who are interested in converting to Judaism. I think it's for non-Jews who have no idea about Judaism and are maybe looking to break the stereotypes they've heard. I think it's for everybody, and I also think it's for people who just like to hear people's stories. There are people I love stories. I love people's stories. I think there are people who just like hearing about other human experience, and I think it's for them too. We're also going to have some informational episodes in addition to a lot of interviews, so I think if people are looking for a way to learn about things like Hanukkah or a movie I'm going to talk about that I think is very anti-Semitic, even though it's about the Holocaust, things like that, maybe, things that aren't talked about very much. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:03:37
Well, our background and what we've done since being actors and performers is we own a historical walking tour company which gives us kind of a direct voice to travelers and to people exploring these cities like New York and Boston and Philadelphia and Toronto. And by kind of exploring these cities we get to talk about the history, get to talk about the people, the cultures that are in them, doing these kind of more informational episodes that are diving into, maybe one aspect of Judaism, or one aspect of a holiday, or a film that kind of reflects on that. 

01:04:18
What we do on our daily basis, on our bread and butter, that's kind of what we constantly. I mean, we've learned how to now research a lot of this history a lot of this stuff in a really short amount of time, so we can pump it out to the masses as succinctly and interestingly as possible. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:04:35
Yeah, so you definitely think there's episodes that will be able to do that as well. So it's going to be a mix of informational episodes and just interview episodes as well. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:04:46
Yeah, and we'll see how it evolves. I mean, maybe this is the format right now. It might change to something else later on as we kind of learn and evolve into doing other things. Yeah, is there anything else you'd like doing in your spare time? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:05:01
I am an avid reader. When I have time I love to read trashy romance novels. It's like a palette cleanser where I don't really have to think and I know how it's going to end. I like reading. I read a lot of nonfiction. I feel like there was an entire year where All I Read was books on Ellis Island that my brain kind of exploded a little bit. I read a lot of nonfiction about New York. I read a lot of nonfiction about the Holocaust and World War II. I read a lot of nonfiction about UK history. I watch historical dramas where nothing happens, as you like to say. I think it's because I they cross the street. 

01:05:36
I know, I think it's because I have anxiety and I feel like it makes me feel better that these are sometimes low stakes problems that might have been big problems in 1915, but now it's not that big of a deal. So it makes me feel kind of calm, and even sometimes rewatching those things which I've read is something that people with anxiety do. A lot is they'll reread or rewatch things. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:05:56
What else is there I put that to an 88-year-old thing where you recommend a show to somebody and they're like I don't have time for that, but then they'll binge watch something they've already seen before. But when they say they don't have time for it, it means I don't have time to pay attention to it. And mentally digest it. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:06:13
Yeah, I will rewatch a lot of stuff. So I watch a lot of historical dramas. We travel a lot when we have the time. I love to travel. We take a ridiculous amount of tours when we travel, not only because of what we do, but because I truly do think it's one of the best ways to learn a city. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:06:30
I'm sure there are people who travel to New York. Nearly that's more in theater than we do. Yeah, okay, and like we go to theater. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:06:36
We go to. I go to theater. When we have time, we go to theater. I like going and seeing shows. It's just hard. I feel like when we first moved to New York I was like I'm going to see all the Broadway shows and then we were poor and then, when we weren't poor, I'm like I don't have time and you know it becomes a huge event. So I think when there's something I'm excited to see, we go see it. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:06:55
I think the problem with living in New York with Broadway right next door is we always think Broadway is going to be right next door. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:07:02
Yeah, so there's shows that I wanted to see that close and I'm like, oh well, guess that's not happening. You know, whereas, like when I used to visit, I'm like I'm going to see these shows, but I take it's ahead of time. It's going to be a big deal. Yes, I have some of them as guests, so they'll see a show pretty much every night. And I'm like, oh, I heard that was good. It's been around for three years but I haven't seen it. You know that sort of thing. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:07:26
So, since it's the first episode this actually there are first exposure to this, though this kind of came about by Nicole and I talking about how these shows and these episodes would operate, and we just thought it would be fun, with the interview episodes, do a little return to something I grew up with and I know Nicole used to watch when she was younger of the actor studio starring. 

01:07:51
James Lipton. If you ever watched the actor studio, James used to end most of his episodes or it was a big core part of it with a series of questions. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:08:03
And they were always the same questions or a director. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:08:05
They were always the same questions and these questions usually gave you some insight just on the human and the person and kind of what was important to them. So we've created a bit of a ripoff version of it. Jewish actor studio questions. The Jewish version of the actor studio questions. Our first question is what is your favorite Yiddish word? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:08:28
Schmuck, and I probably use it at least once a day. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:08:31
Schmuck's a good one. What is your favorite Jewish holiday? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:08:36
I feel like I should say Hanukkah, but I really like Passover. I like Passover because I have very fond memories of celebrating that with my family. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:08:47
Do you have a favorite food item that you would eat at Passover? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:08:50
Potato League soup. I don't even need to think about that, yeah. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:08:53
Yeah, well, that's kind of a you family thing. Your grade on has that recipe. Oh my God, the potato league soup. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:08:59
Yes. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:09:00
Yeah. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:09:01
I would over the matzabal soup. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:09:03
I know matzabal is more traditional. Yeah Well, there would be two options. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:09:07
It would be either potato league or matzabal, and whoever was kind of waiting on the tables would go around and ask always potato league soup. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:09:14
The potato league soup is good yeah. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:09:15
I mean, it's a solid soup, really good yeah. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:09:19
If you had a bat mitzvah today, what would the theme be? Travel, mm. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:09:23
Every table with different places Would be like a different place I visited and like place cards would be like passport and I don't I like it'd be very cute. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:09:33
Yeah, other profession other than what we already do, would you want to attempt? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:09:38
something in the medical field like be a doctor. Yeah, you know something easy like that. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:09:44
A type of. Do you have any type of? Doctor medical doctor you'd want to be. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:09:50
Maybe a pathologist. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:09:53
It's not like doctor house. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:09:54
Yeah. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:09:55
Going in and be like you have this yeah. Give me your Vicodin. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:10:00
Maybe without the Vicodin. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:10:03
This is the last question. If heaven is real and God is there to welcome you, what would you like them to say? 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:10:12
Everyone is waiting for you. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:10:15
Great. Well, thank you, nicole, for sharing your insights of who you are, and I'm very excited to start this journey with you of creating these fun episodes. Hopefully people will get joy from them. Hopefully people will start listening. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:10:32
Yeah, tell your friends. 

Patrick Kelly
Co-host
01:10:34
Tell your friends, tell your family. You know, hide your kids, hide your wife. 

Nicole Kelly
Host
01:10:43
Like what you just heard, subscribe and you can make sure that you don't miss any of our episodes. You can check out our Patreon, where you'll have access to special episodes and offers, and I'm also on Instagram at she Brew in the City if you want to follow along with my everyday life.